"No matter what happens, God is there for you!"
"Even if you hate God and spit on His name, He'll still be there for you!"
"You're not alone, God is right beside you."
Maybe the wording is different, but we've all heard something like this before. In times where are faith is being tested, in times where we feel like we don't believe or will never be with God again...people around us always tell us this. But it doesn't help.
We pray, we read, we talk to people, we cry out and scream and maybe even get angry...but we totally blow off what we need.
Recently I just went through one of the darkest points in my life. The devil constantly bothered me day and night, trying to make me hate God or question why I wanted to be a Christian. Like "why do you even want to go to heaven?" and just generally trying to make me feel like I didn't care. Like every sin I commited was reason enough to believe I didn't care anymore or else I'd stop it.
But people can't stop sinning...and I know that. We try our best and ask for forgiveness, but sadly I couldn't get out. I cried, I prayed, I talked to people...but the whole time I kept ignoring something I really should've paid more attention to.
God really is right there. We can't see Him, but He's always RIGHT THERE. Holding your hand and holding you close. Anything satan tries to put in your head--He sees it. He sees it and understands your pain and why you feel distant. He understands every little thing...it's something we all know, but in times of darkness, it's like we kind of forget. Or maybe we don't forget, maybe it's more like satan blocks it out.
Either way, I just want say praise God! My faith is feeling better now, and while I know the future has more road blocks ahead, I am very grateful for Him being there for me. When you really sit there and think about it and you remember there isn't ANYTHING He doesn't understand...it's comforting. For once you don't have to explain a thing, you can just let the pain go and focus back on Him and enjoying the life He gave you.