*sniff*
If there was one moment in my life to say to me that people honestly do care about me, now would be that moment.
For my whole life, getting and keeping friends has been a struggle for me, and eventually the best friends I made was here online.
Of course, that wasn't enough for me. And so I set my heart, and a personal dream, to meeting someone in the real world one day.
So for four years I begged and pleaded for someone to see me. Or I tried to plan to see them. No one was willing, or was brave enough.
So, as the years passed, I continued to try to find a friend in my local area to no avail, but I refused to give up. But with time, my hope wained.
Today was another hard day in an attempt to make friends. My youth group meeting hadn't been very opening with me, and I felt I had been patient for too long. So I came come depressed, wanting death as a way to finally; I had felt, find someone who loved me in Heaven.
One of my good friends, whom you here at CAA don't know well but still matters the world to me, Aurum, offered me something I couldn't imagine he would be willing to do.
His main obsession is being a furry, and he's more dedicated to it then even I am to Anime. This year he was planning to go to Anthro Con which meant the world to him, and I had plans to go to AX 2008 to finally see some of my friends (and for the anime XD).
If anyone who knows me well will know friends have been a constant issue for me, and today was no different. At my youth group I had failed to be conversational, again. And was left in the background, again. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get beyond small talk which I'm terrible at.
My parents had also announced I couldn't go all the way to Los Angeles on my own,so my plans would be canceled.
After that, I went off to wonder why I kept going on with life and started having suicidal thoughts. I wouldn't actually commit suicide, but the desire for death still resides in me from time to time.
When I came up to my friend Aurum, be was so scared for me that he suddenly did something I had never imagined. He announced that he was going to cancel AC, drive to my state next year and pick me up, and we would both car pool together...
To AX 2008.
Although, this wasn't for the con. This was because the amount of friends that I would be able to meet was too grand to compare to anything else. Let alone that this meant the world to me.
I'm still in tears over the selfless act he's willing to commit for me. It's amazing beyond words, and I can't possibly express my joy through text alone.
All I can say is thank you to both Aurum and God for teaching me that patience, even when you doubt it will ever happen, does reap its rewards.