My English Assignments!

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

My English Assignments!

Postby Ally-Ann » Wed Apr 06, 2011 2:51 pm

I'm pretty darn sure this is in the right place. If not, oh, well. Someone'll move it. I'll just post some of my English assignments here to see what ya'll think of them.

Dialogue practice-- Using plenty of dialogue, write a one-page episode.

"Ugh. I hate the school cafeteria," Emma said monotonously, stirring around what was supposed to be meat loaf with her fork.
"Oh, come on. It's not that bad! Just plug your nose and eat it really quickly." Amy said, optimism evident in her voice as usual. Emma just grimaced at the poor excuse for food on her tray.
"I'd rather chew my own fingers off... without salt," Came the dull reply from Emma.
Amy just rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Emma, just, like, get it over with! You won't be hungry afterwards," Amy chattered, tossing her hair behind her back in a way that would put a cheer leader to shame.
"No. It smells like old gym socks and looks like nuclear waste. I'm not going to eat that abomination."
"You'll be, like, totally sorry later. We have that math test later on, and I don't know about you, but I, like, can't concentrate when I'm hungry."
"Whatever. I'd rather flunk the test than get my stomach pumped."
Amy just sighed. "Suit yourself."
[color="Lime"]My Fictionpress account[/color]! http://www.fictionpress.com/u/740837/Ally-Ann

[color="Yellow"]My Fanfiction account[/color]! http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2401061/ArmyAngel316

My nicknames! [color="Pink"]~*[/color][color="palegreen"]Ally[/color][color="pink"]*~[/color] [color="white"](>[/color][color="Cyan"]Mochi-chan[/color][color="White"]<)[/color]

I like mochi. ^^

I question my [color="DarkOrchid"]sanity[/color]. (._.)

Operation: Blackout
User avatar
Ally-Ann
 
Posts: 618
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2010 5:15 pm
Location: Gazing at some pretty foliage~! ✿◕ ‿ ◕✿

Postby TWWK » Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:09 am

Very nice! I saw one little proofreading error (you used a period instead a necessary comma at one point). Otherwise, your dialogue was well-written. :)
Beneath the Tangles: Where Manga Meets the Maker

In the colors of Your goodness/In the scars that mark your skin/In the currency of Grace/Is where my song begins
~ "Economy of Mercy," Switchfoot
User avatar
TWWK
 
Posts: 610
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 12:34 pm
Location: Texas

Postby Beau Soir » Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:19 am

That's great, Ally! I echo what TWWK said. Also, if you want to avoid confusion at the end of the first line, you could replace "stirring around what was supposed to be meat loaf with her fork" with "using her fork to stir around what was supposed to be meat loaf."
Either way, you wrote an excellent blurb there. :)
Image

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.
--James Arthur Baldwin

Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

(Proverbs 31:30)

Image
User avatar
Beau Soir
 
Posts: 352
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2010 2:32 pm
Location: Lavalava Island


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 137 guests