CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

It's pretty depressing, but if you ever want a girl's perspective on hentai/porn/objectification of women.. here you go.

is it valid?
the overwhelming feeling
of being too sensitive:
this is my curse.

my curse is to be woman,
to torture others with my body
to be exploited
and to whore myself
in thought,
in deed,
in being.

i am nobody's property
only God can really keep me
then why do they look at me?
why is it that i can be their property too?

i can't be only me now.
inside me are voices always screaming
voices from us all,
taking over me,
surrounding me.
i am not me anymore
i am her, and she is me

we're all one person, in this sense
we all bleed the same red blood
and we all cry the same bitter tears

so it's not me who cries
or if it is, i bear the weight
of a sea of little girls

all crying through me.

is it valid to think this way?
is it valid to cry?

past all question of right or wrong...
...are my feelings justified?

-----------------------------

you are so beautiful
that i feel sick to look at you

because
i know
you are perfect
and compared to you
i am a laughingstock
not cute
not pretty
not useful

what am i?
a vessel for the passage
of more broken,
broken girls

into this beautiful
but suffocating
world.

------------------

shine, bright little star
the figment of our collective imagination
we brought you here to please us
we determine your thoughts, your dreams,
your clothes, or lack thereof

shine, sweet star,
in your candy-colored sky.
you are irresistible fantasy.
smile for me...
smile, you're so cute...

...you're cuter than me...
...YOU FAKE.
bright eyes still shine
blinding me, sending the sick feeling
creeping up my throat
i want you out of my vision,
my mind, my system,
my blood.

still you come to me, taunting.
"You can't be pretty like me, can you?"
i am crying, stop, please, go away
let me be a pretty girl all by myself.

the Creator makes the creation
which in turn creates
something so wonderful
that it overwrites itself?

you are my replacement, right?
you've come to upstage me
my dull hair and pitiful body
can never come close
to your sparkling,
fantastic
perfection....

fake, fake, fake
what is real, anyway?
what is true?
what is beautiful?

beautiful is you.
i want to be beautiful like you.
i so very much want to...

why was I born of flesh and blood
instead of pen and paper?

I really like the flow of your writing. Your style is attentive and vivid! I like how you give the opinions of both the "broken girls", you, and the ones that exploit them. Very nice! ^_^

Your style of writing....the words themselves are VERY powerful. After reading, I feel extremely moved. I believe you captured the sense of self-loathing in the "broken girls" from the expectations of society.

The piece is well done and lovely....I really like it.