CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Why must you run?
I'm not scary
I just like to look
Look at your fear

Why do you chase?
I'm not good
I'll forever run
Run from you

Why do you fall?
I'm not stopping
I'll keep coming
Coming for you.

Why do I break?
I'm not sure
He'll keep advancing
Advancing towards me.

Oh? What is this?
It's my name
Written into your mind
Mindful of me

Ahh. Forever etched.
Etched into my skull
My skull and this gravestone.

IN PACE REQUESESCAT
ETERNITUS VERITAS
Jane Doe.

A woman.

Savior
The pain.
I see it everyday.

My self-hate.
I let it wash over me.

My friends.
Know nothing of this.

This facade
I keep it over myself.

No one.
Knows why I act this way.

My failures.
Drown me in themselves.

I forsake.
My friends for my emotions.

The knife.
Ever calls to me.

My savior.
Is, and can only be, you.

You are my friend that sticks with me through my raging storms.
The friend that limps me along the path of righteousness.
The person that comforts me in my times of need.
You are my forgotten faith, you are my shield.

My guardian, my protector, my emotions, my savior.

Forever and Maybe
Can't you hear my heart?
It's crying out for your love and affection.

I know you can hear me.
I know you can understand.

Will the only thing that can get your affection be my own hurt?
You laugh and joke at my expense.

Break my chains of self-hatred.
Please help me somehow.

I know you may not care anymore.
Just let me have this comfort, even if it's a lie.

I hope you can comfort me.
This might be a false safety.

Just let me be held in your arms.
Forever and maybe.

16th Birthday (For a Friend)

The days may be long
The years may drag on
But remember this one fortune
Big things will be happening
You will find someone you love,
And someone that loves you back.

You will be a savior to some,
And sometimes need rescue yourself
People will have you as a role model,
And you will meet your own.
You will make new lifelong friends,
But hopefully never make enemies.

Life will come
Life will go
On your sixteenth birthday
You will experience things never as before.
All we can do is watch as you go far.
And, believe me, you will.

"Brave" "Bold" "Faithful" "Dedicated" "Loving"
All these describe you,
But none can tell your full story.
Ups, downs, loving, hating,
These will all happen.
But just remember through all this.

We all love you.

In Memoriam

“Death has many forms, whichever it may be.
Why, oh, why, my, oh, my, does it relate to me?
I twist and turn in my bed.
Because of it, I have fled.
My face, covered with a shroud,
I'm lying on the metal table.
In my last dream I see a cloud.
Drawn directly from a fable.
I turn right around to see
Another visage, again of me.
I wave and walk to her, laughing all the way.
For my soul left my body to go to Heaven that day."

(Once) Broken Doll

I am a broken doll, shattered into a million pieces.
Everyone is cut from my broken porcelain.
Why does he even try to help me?
It's a futile effort, so stop helping me.

Bleeding onto the floor, onto his clothes.
I am still puzzled by his actions.
I don't want him to hurt himself over me.
Please stop helping, you'll only infect yourself.

Leave me to shatter, to crack, to hurt.
Brush me away to the side, I don't want to cause pain.
Please, forget me, leave me alone.
I can't bear to cause more hurt than I already have.

He is still putting me back together. Why?
The sanguine liquid staining the floor.
A single tear rolls from his eyes onto my broken shell.
My stabbed, dead heart begins to slowly beat again.

Piece by piece, I slowly am built back.
A new thought comes into my once-lifeless mind.
'Who could care for me this much?'
My mouth repeats the thought.

The man smiled as he finished me, no traces of fractures.
He hugs me gently, and places a hand over my heart.
A broken, yet hopeful smiles graces my face as he replies.
"Why? Because I love you. Who?"
He looked skyward as I did, the clouds disappearing.
"[size="3"]I AM JESUS[/size]"

Silhouettes Pt. 1

The silhouettes are coming, they force me to and fro.
Calling and beckoning, to whom must I go?
They laugh and they jest, their voice echoes loudly.
They kick me and beat me, but for my fake love, I stand proudly.

They spit at me, they stab me again,
They push me and shove me into their den.
On the floor I lay, bloody and bruised.
From their faces to my eyes, I see that they're amused.

I could call out, out to my heart,
But, as you have, I left it from the start.
These silhouettes, they hover above me,
They tease, and they beat, and they destroy me.

As I reach out to someone, please take my hand,
I grasp at nothing, and I am left alone again
In the den of murderers, liars, beggars, and thieves,
I look at you, you look at me, and walk away, never bereaved.

I scream out your name, I hope that you hear....
But all that remained, are our tears and our fears.

Worthwhile
[color="Plum"]
I can see you looking at me, I see you smile.
Maybe you're thinking of something worthwhile?.[/color]

[color="PaleTurquoise"]Oh, I do see you, and I shall smile.
My plan to get you WILL be worthwhile![/color]

[color="Plum"]You walked over to me today, you placed your hand on mine.
I still don't believe that you're wanting to try your time.[/color]

[color="PaleTurquoise"]Hm, dear girl, I talked to you today!
Now, to make sure you won't stray....[/color]

[color="Plum"]Dear boy, why have you taken me here?
In your car, I feel a great fear....[/color]

[color="PaleTurquoise"]Little girl, hah! Didn't you see?
I was going to take you tonight. You're gonna be just for me![/color]

[color="Plum"]The morning, a bright light shines into my face.
A feeling of emptiness enters this place...
You took my body, you damaged me so.
Why did I have to ever go?![/color]

Frozen Pt. 1

My thoughts race as my memories flash as a movie screen behind my eyes.
The inhuman screams and tormented shouts and crystal tears and black images.

I am paralyzed in my bed, the screams from the outside are only hollow shells of the ones in my head.
The violence in their voices makes me frozen.

Oh, I don't want to die.
Please don't let me die.
I don't want to die inside.
But it's already happening, let me go.

I am painfully timid, but I am deemed crazy.
I know that I am not alone, but it never seems that way.
I feel so cold, inside and out.

Radiating from my fingers to my core,
The freezing needles pierce through my skin.
I want to cut through my skin, see the blood.
Just to remind myself that I can feel.

Just look in my eyes, and you'll know what's wrong.
Just look me in the eyes.
Please look me in the eyes.
Please...

Frozen Pt. 2

I'm not a stranger.
So, don't treat me as one.

When our eyes meet, I know you'll see me for who I am.
I'm just so tired, I cannot keep my eyes open to look at you.

The spinette resounds from the other room, beyond these cracked walls.
My eyes feel glued together as you pass in front of me.

My anesthetic, my release, has gone away.
I'm so tired of being numb.
I'm just so tired.

I'm not a stranger, you know who I am.
At least....I hope.

Frozen Pt. 3 -FINAL-

I'm not a stranger.
I am yours.

My anger has washed away.
But I'm still afraid.

I'm just tired of feeling so hopeless.
The glue on my eyelids has slowly dried, and shattered.

My eyes opened, and you looked at me, the spinette slowly coming to it's climax.
My emerald eyes reflected in your cerulean ones.

The tears that have escaped from my weary eyes pooled on the floor, staining my clothing also.
I scratch at my mouth, I have found that I cannot speak for myself or anyone else.
My fingernails become bloodied at my frenzied attempts to speak.

Once again, I look up at you but you are facing the other way.
It's hopeless to try again....

But, as soon as I have lost my hope, I feel someone else come up behind me and encircle his arms around me.
He whispers quietly into my ears, the hearing bleeding back into my consciousness.

Finally, my mouth separates, and I have found my voice.
He smiles, and comforts me.
He takes me from the frozen bed and holds me close.

I hear a piano join in with the spinette, their haunting melody dragging my heart out of it's hollow shell.
I finally breathe in, relishing in the fresh air that replaced the musty air that once filled my aching lungs.

The man cut me from my bonds, and he again whispers that I am not alone.
Relief existed, only when I was "cut".[/font]

Rub It In
You.
All you can do is spite me and create those snide remarks.
So what if I haven't done this, or done that, or did him?
I'm protecting a precious treasure.

Something you've already lost.

Just don't.
Just stop talking to me.
I don't need your mindless banter.
You can make fun of me for being myself, but I won't let you make fun of my beliefs.

You'll regret it one day.

Stop it!
You're seriously trying to push me out?
Out of the group that were the only ones to accept me?
That's alright.

I see who my true friends are now.

Stop rubbing it in...
I get it already.
Your numerous boyfriends and your experience with those things.
You laugh at my oath to keep pure, and crush it under your feet.

Just stop rubbing it in...

I said stop it!
You're seriously ticking me off.
Why are you so concerned with my life?
It's not your "glamorous one".
But apparently something must be attractive about it.

Since you never stop talking about it

JUST SHUT UP!
There.
You made me break down.
Are you finally happy now?

Why don't you just rub it in some more?
We'll see just where it gets you.