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A little help, please.

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A little help, please.

Postby Matthew » Fri Jan 16, 2004 3:32 pm

I need to ask you all a faver, that is, those who have read some of my story, The Holy War.
The thing is, I have no talent as a writer (If you have read my story then you already knew that) and I'd like suggestions on how I can become better.
Things like, what should I work on getting better at first? What kind of storys should I try writeing (There is no point in writing if nobody will read it)?
What do I already do right (If anything)?
Well, thanks for reading this and thanks even more if you try to help me (God only knows I need it :sweat: ).
"To all our brothers and sisters in Africa and around the world who are being persecuted and put to death for thier faith, I have something to say to you and to you the meaning will not be lost, 'Love Wins!'"


[font=Verdana]Belong. Become. Be Used.[/font]
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Matthew
 
Posts: 104
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Location: Harrisonburg, VA, USA, Earth.
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Jan 19, 2004 8:13 am

I'll go take a quick look at your story and come back. ;)

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Jan 19, 2004 8:32 am

I commented on your story thread. ^_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
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