OMG(<<gosh)!!! be brutal. be harsh, i dont care, just give it too me straight.

[FATa|_3rR0r]

Well, I started in a maths turned science revision lesson. and that was at 3pm i have now finished my first ever attempt at manga. it was hard, and im tired but now, 5 hours later, i have finished, photoshop colouring and all. now i want you all to be brutally honest, critisicm is welcome i want your critiscism! I have already decided to myself that the face is a little chubby and the hair is slightly wrong, not sure what though, little help with that but what else is wrong? cheers for all your help in advance!

[TheMelodyMaker]

Except for the horizontal lines running through her, what's to criticize? She looks good! ^_^

[The Silence]

It bugs me just the tiniest bit that her hips seem so narrow, but other than that it's lovely.

(oh and the horizontal lines...)

[Lufkin777]

It bugs me just the tiniest bit that her hips seem so narrow, but other than that it's lovely.

(oh and the horizontal lines...)

yeah same here probaly, the hair is really nice )

[Psycho Ann]

Brutal? Nah, just some critiques--not criticism ^^

*crack knuckles*

Probably the problems are the proportions. You should be careful not to make it seem like her legs are too short and the torso too long.

All the way to the bottom of her breasts it seems fine (just a bit more fine tuning with pratice)--now here try to lengthen her upper arm and keep in mind that the elbow ends approx. where her waist is.

Now, her waist shouldn't be that long, shorten it just a tad bit to keep it in proportion with her head (heads are usually the basis for the body's proportion. Like in a real human, the body is usually 6-7 heads tall).

Her hips are slightly not wide enough. And keep in mind that what really make the curves in the female body is where the thighs are connected to the hips. I think Sadamoto (illustrator for Evangelion) exagerates this--go check it out to get an idea about it ^^

The length of the thighs are actually great! It's only because of the torso looking a bit too long and the hip too short that make it seem to be not in proportion.... all you need is practice practice pratice ^^

Now... some tips on the color.

Preparing the line art is essential. I would probably clean it up a bit by erasing the scratches and what not. You also should go to:

Image > Adjustments > Brightness&Contrast...

(or Levels, or Curves, they basically do the same thing but B&C is a bit easier to learn)

And experiment it till you get a nice crisp line art. Sometimes you gotta have a good scanned line art in advance--photoshop can only do so much with a badly scanned piece.

I won't go into about the colors themselves but I will say a good way to "protect" your line art is to use the Multiply layer. It will create a transparent layer where you can color without damaging your original line art and also have the line art still come through.

I think I have a screenshot from a screen tone tutorial of mine : http://www.psychoteers.com/Tutorial/app2.jpg

Now, practice practice practice! It's acctually very nice considering you're new at anime style art ^^

[mechana2015]

body in the hair...and (this may be a personal preference) eyes seem too high and large. No waist either...it looks a little oddlike her skirts gonna slide off. For help I recommend (pose and proportions) an armiture (if ya wanna be serious) or a super articulatable action figure called a Stikfa. Everyone said everything else. Good for you for opening up to advice.

[Tet-chan]

Nice pic overall......
I would suggest "brushing" up your skills on the face

[EireWolf]

Not bad for a first-ever attempt! Study anatomy, and you'll get it. (Even though manga isn't realism, successfully drawn manga is based on human anatomy, so it's good to know that.)

[FATa|_3rR0r]

Thanks you guys! so helpful. and i normally say that sarcastically!

[Dark_angel]

adding to what P.A. said (tho i cant say anything about the color...) i will now specify in the facial features proportion...
the eyes should be about halfway down from the top of the head (not the hair) the bottom of the nose comes halfway in between the eyes and the chin and the mouth halfway between the nose and chin. ears would be in line between the eyes and nose and hair starts halfway between the top of the head and eyes. do fill out the hair more as hair doesnt plaster against the head unless it is raining...

as critical and to the point as ever, eh? Well, it's pretty good, except for a few details.