Avoiding Confrontations

[Alice]

In real life, I mean.

Anyone else do it?

It's gotten so bad. I avoid stressful situations where I feel like a heel because I don't know what to say to people. It's awful! I wonder when I'll get over this. I don't want to be this kind of person.

I can't stand the thought of being around certain people, because I don't want to drown in their sorrow. There are people I should write to, but I seem to just seize up when I think about it. They're not even necessarily sad or anything, I just don't know what to say to them, and I feel like a heel and not up to the challenge.

What's wrong with me!!!?

Um, I guess what I started this thread for was to see if other people avoid confrontation in life, a lot. And stressful stuff. And people, sometimes. Yeah. ^^;;

[Maledicte]

It's possible that you're simply a passive person. Aggressive people enjoy confrontation, assertive people deal with conflict well, and passive people tend to not enjoy it at all, thus avoiding it. If you are passive-agressive, you DO deal with conflict, only badly.

Yeah, I tend to avoid conflict...mostly cause I'm lazy...and also because I'd like to be able to understand and empathize with people when they're in trouble, but most of the time I simply sympathize and feel helpless. Or get bored. I'm bad like that.

[kirakira]

I don't like confrontation. -_- I don't like stressful situations, and I don't like leading or being responsible for other people. Unfortunately *well, unfortunately because I don't like it, despite the fact I now I should be grateful*, these are all areas God's decided to grow me in lately, so it's been quite a ride. *sweatdrop*

[Azier the Swordsman]

I used to be passive and introverted.... but now.... I've become increasingly more aggresive over the past 2 years. So now, I have pretty much an opposite personality than several years ago. Retail will do that to you.

[Yokuo]

I don't like confrotation and arguements, but I DO like to help other people with theirs. Even when I don't feel like helping others, God tells me too, so I do, and usually, I really help them (so they say ). But yeah, stress on myself is hard to deal with...

[agasfas]

I doubt most people like to be stressed or be in conflicts... Well, there are exceptions... But, yeah for the most part I try to avoid confrontations.

The last time I've had a confontation was about 4weeks ago down town Austin. I was in an arcade watching a few people play DDR. Anyways, UT orientation was going on and the new freshmen had the night off. There was this one guy, an entering freshmen making fun of these kids playing DDR. Pushing them around a bit and openly mocking them for no reason. Suddenly I stood up, walked over and gave him "the look." You know, the angry squinting eyes look. The young guy turn and said jokingly, "hey man, what's your problem. I'm the best person here at this game." Then I replied, "Dude. What exactly is your problem? How old are you 12? Act your age man."

Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to start a fight or anything, just mearly have this guy stop making idiotic gestures and obvious bumping (done on purpose).

I could tell he was **** off at me, but I didn't care. I didn't want to get in a brawl or anything but I could tell he wanted to do something. He gave me a glance over and walked away. I guess he figured I could fight.

They can call me names, give me the finger or whatever. I could care less. It just proves to me how dumb they really are. Usually, I try my best to avoid conflicts, and I usually do, but there are somethings that I can't look past. It's not that I want to play hero or anything, but there are times you see wrong being done, and you know in your heart that you need to do something. Because not doing it, is just as wrong.
(If that makes sense)

Perhaps my past experiences helps me sympathize for those who get picked on or pushed around. I had to learn at an early age to defend myself because of it.

Perhaps a bit off topic, but I, "avoid All of the above, but not always." And that was one of those "not always."

But I'm usually a quiet introverted person that just likes to take things easy avoiding arguments and such.

[cbwing0]

Generally I am an easygoing person, but I have no trouble dealing with stressful people, situations, or confrontations.

The only one that I have problems with are uncomfortable situations. I resist them, but I always end up dealing with them anyway.

Confrontations aren't really a problem. If an aggressive person is defined as one who enjoys conflict, then I guess that that would be me . I don't seek it out, but it can be invigorating when it occurs.

There are so many ways to communicate with people today that it is fairly easy to get the courage to talk to them. If I really didn't want to talk to someone (or didn't want to take the time to, more likely) I might just send them an email.

Usually, I try my best to avoid conflicts, and I usually do, but there are somethings that I can't look past.

Although I think I have a higher tolerance for that sort of thing, I am the same way. I'm not afraid to help people if I see that they are in trouble; of course I would also have to feel that I actually could help in some way.

For example, I know that I can fight, but would I try to get in the way of someone twice my size? Not by myself.

I would be very likely to help someone who dropped something, hold a door, or needed some other kind of simple assistance; but that probably falls more into the "common courtesy" or "random acts kindness" categories.

[dragonshimmer]

If this had been three months ago, I would have said that I avoid people in general, but that has changed a fairly good bit. However, I've ALWAYS avoided confrontation. I can't stand it. I will work fifty times harder to get out of it if I can...it's almost pathetic, really. If it's someone I'm close with...that's a different story. I do have conflict and confrontation with people who are close to me sometimes, but when it happens, I figure I care enough about them to resolve the issue and get it out of the way so it doesn't affect our friendship. Most of the time, anyway. That's the only time I don't break my back trying to avoid conflict.

Referring to your writing letters thing...yeah, I do stuff like that all the time. I know there's something I should do, but sometimes I just don't do it. It's not because I don't care or anything. I'm getting better about it, though n_n

I think I'm more of a passive person. I've been in sales AND retail for 8 years now, but the second I get out of my job, I'm very, very passive. Every now and then if I'm in a situation where it looks like I might have to fight for a dream, another person, or to help a person out, then I'll be agressive, but I really have to be moved to do so.

[uc pseudonym]

Interesting. In general, I enjoy some types of confrontation (mental or ideological, not physical), but find that they rarely serve any good purpose. Therefore, my general goal is to avoid confrontations unless I feel that those confrontations will either result in something good or are necessary.

[Sammy Boy]

I like being alone, and try to avoid confrontations as much as I can.

The exception are situations where I have good reason to believe someone is in physical danger. However I admit I am often afraid for my own safety when I do this ...

[Scribs]

we all avoid all these things at times

[Doubleshadow]

I avoid comfrontation's because Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers." But, if I have oppurtunity I'll fight verbally to defend Jesus' name.