Frustration in the extreme

[Kenshin17]

My brother is driving me nuts! He is convinced that the anime I watch is porn and he makes coments constantly to make this known. Just tonight he bought Once upon a Time in Mexico and when I said I didn't wnat to watch it he said "Why, its got the same sex as your anime." Its so agrivating. I don't watch porn. The worst show I watch is Please Twins. I messed up and bought a rather rough manga (which I got rid of) and since he believes that I watch nothing but anime porn. The only shows I watch that he doesn't think this of are Trigun and the other shows he likes. I am getting frustrated. I ask him to stop and he just says he'll tell my mom what I watch. I happen to have a mom that is ignorant about anime and only knows what she reads in Focus on the Family articles. So you see my problem. Its frustrating beyond frustrating. *growl*

[Ingemar]

SOLUTION!

Punch boty your brother and mom in the neck.

OR....

Just deal with it somehow. You can either ignore them, or (worse for you, but perhaps better for everybody in the long run) find better things to do. The Japanese do not have the same values as we do, so it is more than likely that you will run afoul of your parents' sensibilities even if you don't mean to.

You will have to accept that some people are just prejudiced and can't be talked out of those prejudices. Deal.

[JediSonic]

Some people can be talked out of prejudices... you've probably already tried to talk to your mom about it though

[holysoldier5000]

It sounds like your situation may not be one of prejudice but brother bonding… I know… WHAT? My first question to you is how old is your brother? If he is older then you then is may be the common big brother teasing the little brother. Happens a lot in families. Most often it is nothing meant to do harm but it might be doing harm, only that the other person doesn’t know it. That is always a problem with teasing. If it is an older brother then it is more then likely that he is exhorting his older superiority. This often leads to a great deal of frustration on the antagonized. But if he is the young brother then is may be brotherly competition. Once again this is something that is not meant to harm but more of a competitive game younger brother feel they have to play in order to counter the older brothers older superiority.

The only reason I say all this is that I have older brothers, and I being the youngest, have been through a lot with them. I know that we have had plenty of frustrating agonizing times. Sometimes it was them exhorting their older superiority and others it was me competing against that older superiority. It’s a viscous brotherly cycle. But no matter how much we would drive each other nuts there was one thing that always reigned true and that was we would always be there for each other. There were times I could have strangled my brothers, and they could have strangled me, but when push come to shove we always had each other’s backs. Families maybe a little crazy, but the bonds are strong.

So when your brother agonizes you remember it is probably just the normal thing a brother does. Fight the arguments he says with counter arguments and proof. It probably won’t do much at first but keep your head and hold your ground, don’t get angry, and you will eventually win through…just as long as you fight with respect. He may not be respecting you, but you counter that by respecting him. You do what’s right.

God Bless
HS5000

[termyt]

Since you are 20, you may have the option of ignoring your brother with worrying about your mother taking anime away from you. It seems like your brother is just intentionally trying to get on your nerves, anyway.

Still, I always favor trying the rational approach first. Simply explain that anime is a medium like any other. Not all magazines are Hustler and not all movies are "Debbie Does Dallas." It shouldn't be too much of a stretch to understand that not all anime is porn.

[dragonshimmer]

I have a thought, though it may be something you've already tried. Why don't you get your whole family to sit down with you and watch a few episodes or maybe urge them to read a few chapters of manga? People normally bash that which they are ufamiliar with or what they don't understand. Give them a reason to believe you when you say that you don't watch/read stuff like that. Better yet, if worse comes to worse...show them this site or something.

[Mangafanatic]

Just say to him "I refuse to be flustered by these juvenile comments of your any longer. When you grow up-- if you ever grow up-- please come to me and we can discuss this like adults. Until then, I give you full warning that I will treat your childish outburst with the same amount of attention that they deserve-- meaning none."

Then walk into your room and shut the door. I've notived that if there's one thing young sibling's can't stand, it's being treated like they're younger. Play that up and maybe he'll quite being such an meanie.

Sorry you have to go through this, though. I know what it's like to have family members bash what you love. It. completely. stinks.

[Kkun]

Seeing as you're 20, I don't know that there's much that your mom will do about anime anyway. Talk to your brother, though, and explain that, well, no, you're not watching porn and that not all anime is porn, etc. etc. Just read everyone else's comments. I've dealt with this before about anime, as well as my music. It certainly is not fun.

If that doesn't work, Ingemar's throat jab is always an option.

[Sam*ron]

I say, just ignore him, he WILL get bored, and pray a lot.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Just say to him "I refuse to be flustered by these juvenile comments of your any longer. When you grow up-- if you ever grow up-- please come to me and we can discuss this like adults. Until then, I give you full warning that I will treat your childish outburst with the same amount of attention that they deserve-- meaning none."

Then walk into your room and shut the door. I've notived that if there's one thing young sibling's can't stand, it's being treated like they're younger. Play that up and maybe he'll quite being such an meanie.

Sorry you have to go through this, though. I know what it's like to have family members bash what you love. It. completely. stinks.

ddaannnggggg harsh!...

try that kenshin!

[Kkun]

ddaannnggggg harsh!...

Osaka is hardcore. hXc represent

[Kenshin17]

Interesting ideas. First I would like to say some things that may clear up the waters. My family is a christian family. I sincerly love my parents and my siblings. My parents rock. Its just that my mom is not a TV/Movie person. She likes only a handful of movies. Fiddler on the Roof, Mary Poppins, Princes Bride...movies like that. Like I said the only exposher she has to anime is what she reads in focus on the family. She isn't my problem. Its my brother. I try to tell him and he says name one anime that has nothing in it. I try to list animes like Last Exile, Gundam's, Trigun, Gunslinger Girl, Full Metal Alchemist, Rouruni Kenshin but he simply doesn't listen. I may have made the mistake of nadesico being the first anime I tried to talk to him about. That one has a bit of sexual comedy...opps. But its still frustrating. I have also tried to tell him that some of the R rated movies he watches have worse sex scenes then any anime I have seen. "They don't revolve around sex though" is his response, if I try to say that the anime I watch doesn't he says "whatever". I have found that not talking about anime keeps the waters still. However it makes it hard to talk about movies and such since anime is what I know. He is pretty good at letting me talk a little but its those little coments that bug me.

[Fsiphskilm]

Force her

[Yojimbo]

How old is your brother first off? He sounds at least 13 years olds. Like others have said get them to watch some of the good stuff like Trigun, Princess Monoke, Samurai X, etc. Stuff that isn't too over the top, too violent, or too wierd, ya know stuff that people who don't normally watch anime can get into easily. And if your brother refuses too well he you just proved a point that he's hypocritical, close minded, and very immature. Besides you're 20 years old you're an adult so if he's going to go tell mom about your "bad bad naughty anime" then whatever.

[Cap'n Nick]

My solution to this problem was to simply accept the fact that my younger brother doesn't like the same things I do and to find other people to talk about anime with. He does make the occasional crack about anime being stupid, but he's into modern art, so finding something to throw back at him is never a problem.

If you are perhaps interested in crafting a relationship not built on mutual disdain, you should let him know what you have let us know, that his lack of respect for your taste hurts your feelings and makes it difficult for you to communicate with him comfortably. A long shot, I know, but it's the respectable thing to do, and if he's not interested in your well being then I doubt you would get much good anime conversation out of him anyway.

[mitsuki lover]

This thread makes me glad I have sisters and no brothers!

On a more serious note I think if he doesn't want to listen to reason or
sit down and watch a few eps. with you that you are just going to have to
find a way of ignoring him.

Either that or threaten to get a new brother.