CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

This past year I've been feeling very emotionally and physically drained. I battle on and off with depression, I almost constantly worry and I can become easily stressed out over very simple things. Due to this, I have not been a very kind or helpful person in a good while and I feel rather ashamed for it.

I have social anxiety issues as well so when I see people suffering I am not always sure what to do or say. More often than not I just do not address the issue at all. If my friends, family members or even someone I barely know need someone to talk to or help with anything I really should be willing to give any advice or help I can and I do want to, but I always kind of freeze up instead. I feel like I am not very close to God anymore either and that perhaps I never was. I wont ever give up on Him because Jesus is worth it to me, but I really don't think I've been doing a very good job at this whole Christian thing lately. Or ever.

So I guess I would appreciate any prayers for guidance and a better attitude you can spare. I was hoping by the time I came back to this site I would be in better shape and I could be the one offering helpful advice and prayers to others in need, but so much for that.

I would ask you to look at your situation not so much in the suffering in which you are experiencing, which you can make use of, but to more pragmatically review your state as this is hardly the plea of a reprobate. Did you feel God's presence in your life? If such, it was not because of your own doing, but of his and if so never should you allow yourself to think contrary, engrave it into your very being if such is the truth and should it not be so and doubt cloud your mind, then there is yet much to be done. First and foremostly seeking God with all ones mind, heart and soul as anyone who truly does this not seeking self affirmation, but in desperate search of his holiness to guide and aid their lives will with no doubt be given the gift of faith which is not merely empty belief, but a trans-formative, regenerative element that will alter your life and among other things grant the ability of true repentance, which also is a gift. Given that you ask, I have little doubt that you shall find.

But look on the lives of various biblical figures and see the great purpose of God in them which also stand reflected in the lives of others. Joeseph was sold into slavery which held his brothers in a sin most grievous and broke their fathers heart, yet on the side of the wronged God made a great trans-formative purpose which was to be of common grace to all, but which was also to deliver a particular grace to his brothers which too also had truly changed, as evident in the fact that they were willing to offer themselves as slaves so that their new youngest brother may not suffer such consequence. This did not for either of them happen over night, but over a lifetime. Not too uncommon would it be with the famous abolitionist. John Newton, forever known by the song amazing grace. For much of his life he was active or at least indirectly or directly involved in the slave trade. It took 34 years after he was done with the latter and even more given his conversion before he was able to very strongly, very convincingly denounce slavery despite the damage it did to his family. While instant repentance is a gift, instant transformation simply is not realistic. Once one is certain that God has touched ones life and that irresistible grace felt, come what come may, but God does not touch someone to roll the cosmetic dice on their salvation and it is not unlikely that he will take both the sufferings and the sins of someone and ensure a good purpose out of it.

Paul calls us to make a wholesome sacrifice, which is nothing short of ourselves. Which is why I would plead to you that you should offer yourself as said wholesome, living sacrifice, to die for him in the sense of the mortification of your desires and whatever you think contrasts yourself with God and beg Christ to run your life. Trust me, he is a lot better at doing it than you are. And should you do this, as Christ commands us that unless we are willing to die for him true life we should never find, this is often mistaken as a plead to personal courage, for it is not through ourselves we do good, but through the grace of God and it is he whom will be for such bravery, as the old you will in such a point have been washed away. Make therefor use of your sufferings and ask Christ to aid you in all such and to make a purpose of all the wrongs you do which will glorify him and seek to serve him, and to understand his way and not merely rely on your own.

We are slaves to sin and dead in them, which is why we ask Christ the greater breaker of such chains to release us from them and resurrect us as he did Lazarus. To end ones support inside should one have it of anything idolatrous, which can be ones own mind, to the abominable, which can be ones desire, to the selfish, greedy, murderous, lying, malicious and other ungodly endeavors that is the fruits of self, be willing to scorch said earth and ask God to do so, and to plant a new seed. Through the sufferings, a new thing will rise, and that which is of God's adopted family will eternal death never find. Through faith we are made the new seed of Abraham, and I hope and pray you will consider all this and be willing, as the glories ahead far outweighs the trials which themselves even are worth it with Christ Jesus.

I will be praying that good may come of all of this and add to it my most sincere wishes for such.

Just wanted to know that I'll be praying.

In terms of advice/etc. on the topic, I might differ fairly significantly from the recent post. But, I think that I will private message you since, I think, it will become more of a dialogue.

Praying for you, Topaz. I wish I had words for you. Your situation resonates so strongly with me; I feel arrogant saying it, but I do believe I know how you feel. I know we never really got a chance to get to know each other and be friends back in the day, but I want to let you know that I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Please don't be so down on yourself. To the best of my knowledge there's no shame in needing support and encouragement. We've all had those times, and I'm sure many of us are in a low point right now. I'm praying for you.

Praying for you, I understand that feeling. It is good you are not giving up on God and I believe God will honor that :) If you ever need someone to talk to I am here.

Thanks everyone. I'm honestly a little embarrassed about posting this now. I tend to be really impulsive when I'm upset. Over the past few days I've had a lot to think about though and it's done me some good. Thank you again to all of you for the prayers and advice you've all offered. It's very much appreciated.

Sorry I'm late in responding (life is hectic), but I'm praying for you, Topaz!