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In desperate help for advice and pray.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:42 am
by WhiteMage212
Well, I have a friend who recently coupled with another friend of mine. Unfortantly, her brother smacked her sometime that day into the table knocking her out. My friend (her bf) was so worried and so I decided to see what was going on ( we were texting). Well, once she woke up they got in fight and broke up. I know this happens every day but it got worse then I expected. So he broke up with her because she worries him so much and couldn't handle it. I assumed he wasn't emtionally ready for a relationship. Anyway, I recently found out that she was a cutter and that she started cutting herself again. I was able to convince her to throw away her knife but I'm still pretty worried for her. She said that she was feeling suicidal. She had a dream that the guy she broke up with was laughing at her and I went on with my life without helping her (of course, I wouldn't do that but it's just a dream). Then in the dream, she climbed on a roof top and jumped off commiting suicide which after she told me horrifiyed me. For the past few days i've been giving all the advice I could give to her but after that dream she told me, I'm not sure to do. She's been through this is her second break up in the past month I believe. Now I would ask my parents for help but she said she doesn't want anyone other then me knowing. That's made it frustrating. I still have yet to contact a youth teacher that I know who I can trust, which also she's been through something like that during her teens. What I'm her for is for prayer so that the lord can speak to her ( she's a Christian btw) and that through the Holy Spirit, God can give me the right words to tell my friend as I help her. I also was wondering if anyone knows a good book by a Christian that can help her situation. A book that can help people who are cutters, and in depression. Maybe even a website that I can share with her would help her (and me) greatly. I hope this wasn't too inapropriate to post here instead of in the mature thread. So anyway please pray for both me and her.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 6:15 am
by talitha cumi
Hello Whitemage212!
Before anything else, I would like to know if how old is your friend.. Is she still a teenager or not??.. [Most of the youth suffer much on break ups and the like..]
I know you've been deeply trying to do what you can to help your friend. Just don't stop giving her advice. You may not know it but she's absorbing everything that you tell her. Make her realize that her life doesn't revolve only to a particular person (her bf).. Make her feel that you're still always there for her.. that you love her.. that many people are still waking up each day bringing tons of thoughts about her.. that she's not alone.. that she should not doff her life just like that for Jesus offered every drop of His blood just for her (and for us).. Life's not merely about picking up your own romantic story then having a suicidal attempt if that story ends up after wards...Make her think of how blessed she is compared to others out there or somehow show her the reality that many of us are striving to fight against the call of death just to live.. Tell her that she could still love another guy again who will be worthier of the love that she can give.. If she's a Christian, then I know she knows that the perfect description of love is knowing God for God is love so she should be reminded of how unfailing and unconditional is God's love to her that no one could outdo..Moreover, it can be a great help if you'll pray with her.. Bring her in a group of Christians for more advices or even in a church..
Furthermore, the best way to help you and your friend is to pray to God for her guidance and acceptance.. I'll be praying.. Please don't give up on her.. This is just a trial..
About the websites and books, well I'm sorry.. I know nothing about them.. I'm certain that the best book is still the Bible.. Give her some pertinent verses if you want.. God bless you! I know you won't fail!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 6:47 am
by Etoh*the*Greato
I wouldn't hesitate to let her parents know, either, if you think they will act on the information to help their daughter. She might need a little bit of therapy, she might not, but in either case she will need someone understanding who loves her to watch over her. Also, if her life is as dating-centric as you make it sound, it might not be a bad idea for her to step out of the dating pool for awhile. Better to wait until you're in a better spot.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 8:01 am
by sstohru
Will be praying!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:40 am
by WhiteMage212
She's 18 actually and well I guess I over exaggerated her dating thing. I guess it's just that becauses since she hasn't talked to the guy for a awhile. She says she misses him a lot. I actually wish I could talk to him to but unfortantly, he broke his cell phone. He was pretty sensitve to what he heard from her brother who made my friend ( the girl) feel like he didn't love her at all. The one reason I hesitate to tell her parents is because I don't know them that well. I'm a homeschool so I go to my band class where we both meet once a week down in oc which I live down in LA.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:38 pm
by Tsukuyomi
You're doing a great job by being there for her ^^ Continue to do that ^^ I'm sure she appreciates it
I'll be praying that all goes well in the meantime ^__^
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:47 pm
by talitha cumi
Then that's it! She's really still young.. What if you bring her to a place where she can't remember much of her boyfriend? ..The best thing you can do is to be the "best friend" she can ever have especially in this epoch of moment she has..
____________________________
Nothing's impossible with God..
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:17 pm
by K. Ayato
I understand your reluctance to alert her parents seeing you're not highly acquainted with them. But is there someone else you can trust with this information, like a teacher or pastor who knows both of you? Just throwing out suggestions. I'll keep praying.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 5:49 pm
by Phantom_Sorano
Hmmm....a delicate situation indeed. As for books and works on depression help, there are countless numbers. There is a Bible Study booklet that covers different aspects like that. Ramb Hummel is the name of the author. Keep praying and talking to your friend; advice her to seek help from a counselor. Praying for her.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:24 pm
by WhiteMage212
So far, it seems safe to say that she at least isn't feeling suicidal anymore. She still seems to be a little depressed but I've been able to take her mind off of the guy by just having idle chat with her and every once in a while some encourgement. Thanks for the prayers everyone. They mean a lot to me. And I'm sure they mean a lot to my friend.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:00 pm
by WhiteMage212
Well, thanks everyone for praying for my friend. She seems much better right now. I know she still is hurt, but she isn't as bad as as she used to be. Since we (me the girl and the guy) are friends, we decided that we would buy the guy a cell phone since his is broken. And then maybe they could at least not feel so tense around each other. Thanks for the support guys!
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:40 am
by animeguild53
it must have been tough, thank GOD everything's fine...
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:56 am
by Makachop^^128
Wow...will be praying.
Well from past experiences, I can tell you it's best to tell someone. I would tell your youth group leader. She might get angry, but I know that when I was suicidal I would have loved to have someone help and tell a adult about it. (I had to tell a adult myself when I started cutting and actually attempting suicide.) I will be praying for you and your friend. ^^
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 7:59 pm
by WhiteMage212
I thank all of you guys for the prayers. It seems like she has finally started picking up the pieces to herself, but there remains one last obsticle. She wants to know if he (the bf) still loves her. She also just told me that this is the first time that she has felt madly in love with someone. I told her to pray and consult God and an adult. The reason she won't is because she is afraid thar God will say no to the love she feels to this guy.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:51 pm
by K. Ayato
It is difficult to let go of one's first love. I'll be praying for her. Glad to know she's getting started on the right track
.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 9:29 pm
by WhiteMage212
Well she found out that the guy like her as a friend but not as a gf. Knowing that she misses him she has gone in another depressed state. I tried asking her brother to tell her parents but then we both agreed that since her parents will yell at her, it might make things worse. But I know I will tell them before anything gets out of my control. I'm going to tell the guy about how she feels about him so he understands the situation. I really though am trying not to meddle with things since the middle man can become a problem and I don't want to be blamed so I'm trying to get them to staighten things out without too much of my help. Please keep me in prayer including her and pray that The Holy Spirit will give me the right words. Thank you so much for the prayers. Because of them, they have helped things from becoming chaos.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 9:47 pm
by K. Ayato
Just my opinion here, but I think for now you've done all you can. Best you can do now is continue to be a friend. However, I would advise being the go-between both parties. It can make things more complicated than they probably are at the moment. Continue to pray for them and let them know you're there when they need you.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:12 pm
by WhiteMage212
Finally after a few weeks of prayer, and drama, it has finally ended. the Girl, the guy and I have finally become friends again for what seemed to last forever. our relationship was hanging by a thread this week because one of them said some bitter things to each other. The girl was going to quit band so I was kinda desperate to keep our friendship together. So i prayed to God asking for his wisdom and I guess he put in my mind to go talk to to the guy (my friend). I found out he said the bitter and mean stuff because he wanted her to feel how he felt when the incedent happened. (he revealed that to me by telling me to listen to the song ode to divorce by regina spektor). So i just kinda opened my mouth so I believe it was the Holy Spirit giving me the words. So I confronted him and asked why he didn't care about anything anymore and from there i kept asking questions until he finally cracked. so then I finally got him to realize that the girl went through the same pain he went through and that if he thought she didn't then he should think again. so he apologized to her and then we had a happy ending.
I praised the Lord that whole night. So thank you for all the prayers because i know they all helped. Anyway thank you everyone and God bless! btw, lol they gave me the nickname Dr. Phil, lol!
PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 9:24 pm
by Doubleshadow
Praying.