CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

So, the past couple years, I've been the definition of a weak christian "clinging on". Like, I'm not in any way a good example of what a Christian should be... like a good mentor of mine used to say "If you can't be anything, serve as a bad example". That's pretty much the mindset I have of myself with my religion the past couple years. It's not that I don't want to be, I've just gotten horribly apathetic and selfish. My life is going so perfectly that I don't want to interfere with everything because I should be listening to God more. Sure, I try to talk to him every now and again, but it's been years since I've felt his presence in my life, and I just kinda gave up.
But I still have faith in Christ as my savior... so, I think... that makes me christian?

ANYWAY.
The reason I'm posting this: I think it's entirely possible I could be completely losing my faith in the near future. I'm weak as it is, but I'm putting myself into some... iffy situations that I think would be trying for a STRONG christian to withstand.

For instance, I've gotten more and more into... paranormal stuff. I'm going to university in the fall, and I'm moving in with my best friend in a couple weeks. I'm not gonna say she's particularly into certain things, but I will say that on more than one occasion we've cracked out the Ouija Board and had some... interesting encounters. I KNOW that playing with fire like that is... playing right into Satan's hands, but I really can't help myself. Being raised christian, I was, admirably, taught that playing with paranormal things, especially Ouija boards, was a serious no-no. But now I just have... these urges to try everything out, because none of it seems so "evil". My parents made drinking, drugs, swearing, smoking, sex... all that sort of things appear to be so evil and horrible that I'd never want to try it... but then I tried one, so I had to try them all (I'm not condoning ANY of that, I'm just confessing I've done it all, and none of it hurt me.) And the bottom line is... I'm fine. I didn't die. Or go to hell. None of it hurt me, most of the time it's fun. I'm young, I'm healthy, I'm going to University.... life is good. So, I feel no... guilt or... "fear" of playing with the unknown, because although it was "a no-no" , so was most of the other stuff I've done, and that turned out fine. You see where I'm going with this...
So there's that. I'm scared that if I continue to play with fire, I'll end up getting burned, but I'm in no position where I can stop, because it hasn't affected me yet, so I have no reason to want to.

And then there's the issue of courses I'm taking... they are pretty risky with religion as well. I'm going for my psych major, but my minor is theology... scientific. So, a bulk of my not psych classes are things like "science and religion" and "the truth about God", and stuff like that... stuff that I find so bloody fascinating, stuff that really really REALLY interests me... but... it's kinda... gonna be tough to remain faithful to God when I'll most definitely be going against him or being blasphemous in one way or another... I have hopes that seeing all angles of science and religion and the balance will help my relationship with God strengthen, and I'm sure if I can get through it will, but I'm just scared I'll lose faith along the way...

Anyway.
I'm treading dangerous ground, and I'm fully aware of it, I just don't... know where to go from here. The only thing I can think of is to try to strengthen my relationship with God, and work on that... but I dunno...

Prayer that I can get my butt into gear and stop being so apathetic and lazy about this stuff... that REALLY matters would be greatly appreciated... thanks.

Bri

Just because you think you're weak doesn't mean you should just give up all together ^^ Being weak should actually give you more reason to become stronger (if that made any sense) ^^

I'll be praying ^^

That does make sense, I'm just really ashamed that I'm so weak.

Thanks Tsuki. I really appreciate it.

xblack_x_rosesx (post: 1333739) wrote:And the bottom line is... I'm fine. I didn't die. Or go to hell. None of it hurt me, most of the time it's fun. I'm young, I'm healthy, I'm going to University.... life is good. So, I feel no... guilt or... "fear" of playing with the unknown, because although it was "a no-no" , so was most of the other stuff I've done, and that turned out fine.

This is Satan's greatest trap. I have great things so I must be blessed. This is why Christ said that it will be so hard for the rich to enter into the kingdom of heaven. To the apostles, this was nearly offensive, as in Jewish culture wealth was attributed to blessings from God in return for Godly behavior. The truth, however, is that the richness of our lives is entirely irrelevant to how "good" life is. At the same time, it doesn't mean that you can't have both.

I often find myself falling into this line of thinking. For example, I'll sometimes think something rude, and then I'll run my arm into a door jam. It's not a punishment of sin, but our brains are conditioned to look for cause-effect patterns like that. There is no earthly punishment for sin, outside of obviously risky behavior and trespasses against human law that correspond to God's law. Here is therefore how I have come to cope with this mechanism in my brain: I use the opportunity to rebuke myself, reminding myself of how no earthly punishment can be gained by sinning. Pain and misfortune is a result of the world's brokenness, not my own personal sin. Further, I use it as an opportunity to remind myself of my goal in life. Even though the two events are unrelated, I still need to work toward a blameless life through Christ.

Further, when I think about sin and how my life is going, I often think the same as you, that my life is pretty good so I shouldn't change anything. But I know this to be a fallacy. Just because I choose to sin less and become more like Christ does not relegate my life-events to misery. It also does not make God "challenge" me more by making life more difficult.

What I am trying to say is that you should not believe that, in your own words, your lifestyle (or the parts thereof) of sinfulness is what determines the quality of your life. It behooves you to work harder for Christ, to see just what might happen. Life will always be up and down, and nothing can change that. What you can change is your attitude toward these life events and whether or not you let them shape the course of your life.

Erm, I hope that helped, it may not be as coherent as it was in my brain when I started out...

I'll keep praying for you!

... Thanks Whitefang... that did help...

-sigh-
I'm just... convinced I'm going to hell, and there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. I mean... I'm really into money... a lot. I have a lot of it, I have a lot of stuff, and I just love it. That just being one example of how I am. I don't think I can change something like that, cos it's my lifestyle.

I'm ashamed and scared...
But thank you for your prayers.

Whitefang (post: 1333824) wrote:This is Satan's greatest trap.

IT'S A TRAP

Sorry, I couldn't help it xDD

Acknowledging that your weak is the first step to recovering u_u/

Now that you know what to work on, you should work on it

Just so you know, I'm a counseling major in college, and it's very anti God. Half of my teachers are even against God and very vocal about it. But with me it just helped me increase my faith. Because I saw what they were saying and how it failed, compared to God's healing power. For me it became another test of my faith, which I'd like to say I passed with flying colors (I didn't always).

And being convinced your going to hell does not mean you are. God loves you too much for that, even if you walk away. He never gives up pursuing you. My husband was a christian and a satanist at the same time. Yet he is now a strong Christian. God didn't let him go even when he was at his worst (and trust me his worst behavior was baaad). I was also involved in the paranormal, and trust me you don't want to go there. But that is also how God reached me. I would just ask God to reveal Himself to you again. Even though you grew up Christian, ask Him to reveal a new side of Himself to you, and for help kickstarting your faith again. God is faithful, even when we're not.
Ask Him to reveal His love for you specifically. I get ashamed a lot of myself too and my actions and my behavior, and I know saying "don't be ashamed!" doesn't help, but remember. There is no need/reason to be ashamed. God has freed us from it.
I'll be praying for you as well. Hope this kinda somewhat maybe helped?

You're already treading on dangerous ground. The results of your actions may not pop up right away, but they are sure to happen sooner or later and I pray you stop before anything worse happens.

Sounds like you need to make up your mind about who you're going to follow. There is no middle ground. Yes, God loves you and you can always turn back to Him, but that doesn't give a free pass to do whatever you want and still be a Christian. Even Satan believes, better yet knows that there is a God. To continue such activities that we are told not to do is like spitting on the name of Christ.

There are times where Christians slip and this is understandable. If you've taken a major fall, then ask God to lend you a hand and pull you up, don't lie down and sulk and consider yourself lost just because you've fallen. Everyone slips or falls at some point. Besides, you have a race to finish. I pray you will grasp His hand, turn away from these things, and live the way we are called.

Excuse my post, but my tone is not of anger or spite. I consider such topics serious and shouldn't be sugar-coated.

CrimsonRyu17 (post: 1333912) wrote:You're already treading on dangerous ground. The results of your actions may not pop up right away, but they are sure to happen sooner or later and I pray you stop before anything worse happens.

Sounds like you need to make up your mind about who you're going to follow. There is no middle ground. Yes, God loves you and you can always turn back to Him, but that doesn't give a free pass to do whatever you want and still be a Christian. Even Satan believes, better yet knows that there is a God. To continue such activities that we are told not to do is like spitting on the name of Christ.

There are times where Christians slip and this is understandable. If you've taken a major fall, then ask God to lend you a hand and pull you up, don't lie down and sulk and consider yourself lost just because you've fallen. Everyone slips or falls at some point. Besides, you have a race to finish. I pray you will grasp His hand, turn away from these things, and live the way we are called.

Excuse my post, but my tone is not of anger or spite. I consider such topics serious and shouldn't be sugar-coated.

i agree with all of this.


bri, i think also, you are kinda playing games with G-d right now. In a way you are going, "nah-nah see G-d? I was told never to do this and now that i've done it, it's not that bad. it feels good! its not bad! you don't know what you are talking about." But you don't know how that is going to unfold in your life in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years from now. Life is chain reactions.. one after another. Sometimes you have to be careful at what you bring out.

you need to make up your mind now on where you stand.

every one of those choices you make is bringing you further and further from G-d. its a choice to chose G-d and what he wants over what you want. and while what you want might seem more fun or exciting right now, where will that lead you in a couple years? You know that G-d's path will always, always lead to what is best for you. Always.

where is your path leading right now?

and i'm not trying to be judgmental or harsh or whatever, i'm just saying what i think needs to be said. G-d still loves you.

do you still love G-d?

xblack_x_rosesx (post: 1333838) wrote:... Thanks Whitefang... that did help...

-sigh-
I'm just... convinced I'm going to hell, and there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. I mean... I'm really into money... a lot. I have a lot of it, I have a lot of stuff, and I just love it. That just being one example of how I am. I don't think I can change something like that, cos it's my lifestyle.

I'm ashamed and scared...
But thank you for your prayers.

Paul murdered Christians in the name of God. Look at how God changed his lifestyle.

---

Rom 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Rom 8:36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Rom 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
Rom 8:38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Rom 8:39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I'm really not sure of what to say, but I'll be praying for you.

... I was going to ask why you would take courses with titles like those, but then again you're a theology minor...

First. Don't touch those boards. Ever. I watch Ghost Hunters too, it's hilarious because they almost NEVER get anything super-natural (think about it, if the last haunting was a year ago, they have about a 1/365 chance of seeing a ghost in a single episode if 1 haunting per year is the frequency rate of the building). It's even more hillarious because they never quote units (THE EMF METER IS READING IS READING 10, 10! (nano-volts)) nor do they get their quantities right (Emf meters determine the energy in the atmosphere @_@ (T_T)).

I saw and was afraid of ghosts when I was a little kid, I had some really wild experiences, including intelligent entities with power over the lights in the house O_O. Ultimately, shows like this got me over my fears, ghosts are just really anti-social people (I'm defining a ghost as a deceased person here, not all spirits are ghosts).

That stated, there is no real clear definition with spiritsl, and because you're blind you don't know if you're running into your deceased grandfather or the devil himself. Demons are real, not abstract from my personal experience, don't make the mistake of touching them with a ten foot pole. So please, do yourself and the rest of us that would be hurt by the pain you'd feel a favour, leave that stuff ALONE! You're a great kid with a curious mind, it would be better if you focussed on school-work. Add a math minor to that if you feel you have the time for the other things you were talking about , you'll make a revolution in your field for certain!

People of the world, hate me, I am a sinner (picked up a bad habit of looking at dirty pictures during hours of surfing the internet looking for knowledge to physics problems). I can't say that drinking, smoking or taking drugs is any more of a sin then gluttony (another sin of mine though I lack the other three), but ultimately they'll all do the same thing, drain life from your years and years from your life. Downloading illegal music will probably cost you more in money if you get caught, but they'll take their own toll if you give them long enough.

Like me I doubt you can get an addiction to any of those things and feel you're any better for them (and if you've just started, don't fool yourself, they grab you before you know it). At the least, they reduce your pocketbook and take up your time (I can certainly tell you that from my super-sized meals). And when you're health drops, it goes instantly and then you and I wish we never met the things, but are already enchained.

As far as sex, remember the words of Nana, my families greatest matriarch (Or source of knowledge period):

"The man always walks away and zips up his pants leaving YOU with the big belly."

In other words, men are sneaky little devils looking for pleasure. They'll lie up a blue streak just to get into your pants, but you can never expect a penny in your pocket from them if you end up getting pregnant. They'll run off, join the military, do anything just to avoid paying child support, THAT WOULD BE LOSING! Until you've stuck that darn ring around their finger and dragged them through their wedding vows and have 'em by a legal contract, don't trust 'em with an INCH! NOT AN INCH! (Even then, you'd better know them well as some are just as tricky there)

Finally, I've come to have a different understanding of professors over the years after taking so many courses. It is true, you will find the teachings in many of the courses to be completely blasphemous, but you have to realize something.

Christianity is one of many religions. Even if the teacher were Christian, there are so many different sects with such a wide variety of beliefs, one can't say there is "one Christianity". Not even fundementalism (even though they all claim to "interpit the Bible for what it says") is one view-point.

If you were to run a course on Christianity, could you really get anything done with all these sides jumping at each other from across the classroom? No, it would be a civil war! So, to avoid religious debates, they crush independent thought on Religion within the course, kind of like CAA bans religious debates. They have to teach SOMETHING though, and so they might teach from the vantage point of various theologians and athiests (who if they are looking at religion are theologians as well) throughout history. No one in the class, even the teacher, may agree with the statements, but for the sake of learning and their importance to history they may be included.

Now, while avoiding chaos in the class, they must also avoid their own lives from being driven crazy. Certainly, you aren't the only Christian with a strong view, and you can really expect that in a class you will have 30-300 kids who believe their view is the absolute unadulterated truth of God and have nothing better to do then convert each other and (most importantly) the teacher. I'm not saying it's necessarily true, but it would be rather convenient to claim atheism (with a hatred of religion) so that no students try to convert you (lest you glare at them and make them feel like they are going to fail). It's like hot movie actors claiming to be gay, they may not be, but they don't want fifty million googly eyed girls chasing them down at every parking lot.

Of course... they might really hate religion... but I doubt they entered the subject with that hate. (It would be like condemning yourself to an eternal life of pain)

Ultimately, if they ARE athiest, they generally just want one thing. They want you to keep your religion to yourself and not try to force it down their throat or use it as a justification in an argument. Mind you, you can write papers in clever ways that avoid involving your own personal feelings or faith. I can say:

This author says, or this theologian feels...

but this makes no statements about how *I* feel, and nobody really cares about my ideas beyond my thesis statement anyways. The rest is all facts or quotes to back it up!

Making a good argument has nothing to do with what you feel and if you're a REALLY good writer, you can write both ends of the argument! (In fact, this shows that you have a good understanding of the subject matter) Your own personal feelings shouldn't be involved in a piece anyways, keep to logic, facts and history. Arguments using feelings are for the internet except CAA . You might even take on an opposing side against your own religious standpoint just to understand the other sides perspective better.

You'll change a lot during college. That is how this thing goes. It's your first first event of independence from your parents and ultimately a MAJOR change in your thought process. Proffesors could care less about striking at the heart of your philosophical world and that's just what they want to do! They feel if you're philosophy isn't strong enough to stand up to their arguments then it shouldn't be your philosophy anyways. Better to tear the whole thing down then let you live in a foolish idea. They don't want to harm you, they do wish to make you stronger and challenge you to your deepest core.

(If they place any value in their status as a professors (One who professes) then, despite all their angry views and stands, they should even care about you even if what they are arguing is completely wrong. Love should and admiration of the spirit of learning is the heart of the professor and should be the first thing in their eyes even if it is hard to see.)

Love them for who they are, and if they knock down your philosophy, take what you learned and build a stronger one. The stronger your fortress is for God, the harder it will be for the devil to knock it down. Do not abandon God, and the pillar will always be beautiful.

Good luck kid,
Pascal

Edit: "him" in the last sentence was terribly ambiguous.

I have also taken many psychology courses to the point of almost being eligible for a minor degree, and I found that psychology is really subjective, no wonder many people question whether it is a "real" science. For example, if the professor is a humble Christian with strong faith, the course will be very enlightening.

However, there are indeed many American professors that are outright anti-Christian. Some of them believe in a twisted version of human rights that being promiscuous is freedom instead of bondage. I still have not forgiven myself for not correcting them in the classroom when everyone was being emotional after watching a video about homosexual. You may face similar struggle, but you are a strong person, someone who can admit her problems. Unlike me who only make excuses: that maybe maybe the professor will dislike me for saying such and such behaviour is sinful, that someone may endanger my life for daring to question their belief, that I would be raped if they found out I am virgin.

You are tested by Satan because God have faith in you, only through sins can we see the greatest of God.

"Therefore I tell you, her sins, which were many, are forgiven, thus she loved much; but the one who is forgiven little loves little." (Luke 7:47)

Pascal (post: 1334035) wrote:but this makes no statements about how *I* feel, and nobody really cares about my ideas beyond my thesis statement anyways. The rest is all facts or quotes to back it up!

Making a good argument has nothing to do with what you feel and if you're a REALLY good writer, you can write both ends of the argument! (In fact, this shows that you have a good understanding of the subject matter) Your own personal feelings shouldn't be involved in a piece anyways, keep to logic, facts and history. Arguments using feelings are for the internet except CAA . You might even take on an opposing side against your own religious standpoint just to understand the other sides perspective better.

I don't agree that professors should only teach and give reading of articles, but forbid people from disagreeing/ discussing in class. In my opinion, the bottom line of education should not be about personal gains, instead it should be about exchange of ideas. So I don't think my idea is any less important than the one in a textbook. The idea of censoring speech to avoid civil wars boggle my minds, it is as if conflicting idea = hatred. University is not a barbarian gathering, we can agree to disagree, but we should not be forbid to disagree.

I'll be praying for you (:

Though I'd advice you to stop dabbling in the occult with all my heart. I was very curious about the spiritual realm for many years, and I've read enough testimonies from people who had same attitude as you not to let this go silently. It always starts as a little fun, then before you know it, you're in trouble. You are dealing with something you can neither understand or control, so please don't be deceived into thinking otherwise.

Jesus said that even the tiniest amount of faith could move mountains. Never forget that.

If you have even that, then that is what you hang on to and cultivate. Try to find a Student-led Christian group at your school? Like Campus Crusade for Christ or anything?

Roses, please stop trying to justify your sins and your sinful nature to us. We accept and love you as a person, but not your sins, regardless if you think they "feel" right or not.

That said, you have a choice to make; a choice that's between you and God and no one else. You can either continue doing whatever you like and take the consequences, or you can choose turn your life fully over to God (pray, read your bible, get involved in a Christian group at your college, everything you can think of to focus on God, do it. Flee from temptation of sin).
From all your prayer requests and threads that I've read, people have given you awesome advice and great encouragement. But if that still didn't help you, there's nothing more we can do besides pray that you will listen to God calling your name and respond accordingly.

Pascal (post: 1334035) wrote:... I was going to ask why you would take courses with titles like those, but then again you're a theology minor...

College is about broadening your horizons anyway. In a particular field of mine which I enjoy (social constructionism), nearly all adherents would deconstruct my Faith like crazy if they had a chance to. =) But for me that doesn't really cause me do doubt, just to think more.

Roses, if you're playing with fire, the best thing is to run away from fire.

About college, and I guess life in general... one thing you can never do, is fully trust any one person's judgement. So often we think that we as a race know all the answers, but the truth is, we're fooling ourselves. All those "experts" whose words we cling so tightly to are basically making stabs in the dark. You'll notice that we're constantly finding out about new side effects to drugs we've been taking for a while, or that something's not quite as safe or true as we thought it was.

So don't let arrogant, self-important men force your mind into their little ideal.
That goes for professors, friends, even pastors.
God knows my pastor says some things I don't entirely believe.

About the spiritism and materialism... have I got a book for you.
It really changed the way I view my possessions.
https://www.mygfa.org/offer/freebook/

Please order it, it's completely free.
It's an easy read, too, especially if you're curious about the situation for Christian missionaries in places like India, where there are reports of demonic activity.

I'd say something,but most of the people here have answered head on,and in a nice way(more than I'd would).

Still I remembered these famous quotes by C.S. Lewis that have to do a lot with what everyone here has said.

"The safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."
- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

"There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight."
- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

I'll just keep praying for you.

Pascal (post: 1334035) wrote:
Love them for who they are, and if they knock down your philosophy, take what you learned and build a stronger one. The stronger your fortress is for God, the harder it will be for the devil to knock it down. Do not abandon God, and the pillar will always be beautiful.

Kudos Pascal

I like how Pascal wrote a college paper... -_-; and how makes it nearly impossible for you to respond now. Well here comes my own college paper...

Well this is the first time helping somebody out on these boards, so I'll say what I think I need to. I may come off as incredibly rude, but understand that this is no light matter. I don't really care for empty words that sound nice.

Now Jesus saves, and God will surely pursue you, but that does not mean that you just do nothing and he will save you. You must let him save you. From what I can understand, you're not even trying. I don't believe that your apathy came before your sin. I believe that your apathy is a result of you not even trying to be saved from the very beginning. God works like a potter, and we are like clay in his hands. It is our place to be moldable, or else nothing gets done.

The saying is that if you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then you will go to heaven. It says that if you accept. Not if you say you accept. To people words are merely words. Just think how shallow our human words are to God. Faith has become this conceptual thing to people these days. Faith can even be boiled down to just words in so many "Christians". Are you saved? Or do you just say you are. Christians are not marked by empty words.

You say you might get burned, but I think you are badly burned already. So much so, that you can't even feel it. It's as if the fire burned straight through your nerves, and all you have left is the apathy to sit back and watch yourself being consumed. You may fear you'll be treading dangerous ground, but you're already there.

You're putting yourself through the fires of spiritual trials in your college classes, yet at the same time, you're putting yourself through the fires of sin. And yet, you yourself admit that your faith is not strong enough for it. Do you see how twisted that is? Excuse me if i'm wrong, but I'm tempted to look at your apathy as an excuse rather than an actuality. But there's nothing you can do about the spiritual trials, as that is your minor. Instead you must lighten your load (That was a hymn I sang at my Grandfather's funeral I think) of your sin. Of course, you don't even know why you should. Because you think life is good.

But life is not as good as you think. Perhaps you haven't experienced life in Christ enough, but only through Christ is anyone really living. Our human understanding of life pales in comparison before God's understanding, and it is in God's understanding that lays the foundation for the Christian life style. Your life is what is pleasing to the world, but God wants to reach you, to show you what real life is. When people tell me I am a spoiled suburbian kid who doesn't know what real life is, I laugh. Because I am a spoiled suburbian kid that doesn't know what real death is. While I'm no model Christian, though I refuse to believe in model Christians in the first place, I know for a fact that I am saved.

But all of this came through the Church I'm in. I am held accountable by my pastor, and my parents who are also pastors in the Church. I realize that whatever I have in my faith comes from these things.

Now all that being said, I challenge you to stand up, and shake off the dust from your faith. Go get involved with a Church to keep you accountable, or if you already are, get involved more. Talk to your pastor, who will actually be able to help you much more than any of us here can.

I think it would be wise for me to quote scripture, as the words would not be my own then.

---

This is from Joel 2:12-14.

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. Who knows whether he will not turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind him, a grain offering and a drink offering for the Lord your God?

---

Even now, in the place you are, Rend your heart and not your garments. Change on the inside. Not on the out. For who knows if God will relent? Jesus. He made sure that it would be that way. For when God restores you, your life will abound, so much that you will be able to give back the abundance that he has given you.

Notice how I'm not lightening my own words or pretending that its okay, because this is what i received for you. Very rarely do I ever find real reason to post here. And this is the first time i've ever felt compelled to respond. I will pray for you.

-Strafe

Here's a link relating to the paranormal that I think u will find to be of much interest as it comes from a very open Christian pespetive:
http://www.craton.net/writings/paraintro.htm

For a while, I've had somewhat of a fascination with it as well (though in a different way as u), so this article was very helpful....

Hold on Black Roses! Remember God is watching over you, guiding you, helping you. I'll be praying for you!

- Arya