Heart troubles, faith troubles...

[Momo-P]

Man...I so feel like crap right now. For a week or so satan has been bothering me with stupid doubts. Mostly consisting of "well what if Jesus wasn't God? What if He was me and you all fell for it?" and of course I know that's absurd, but it's like...for once I actually felt so good and had no doubts AT ALL over anything relating to God...so I guess he went for all he had left and it's been making me sick.

I know that idea is absurb--not only did the prophecies given about Jesus talk about around the exact time He would come (and kind of give us a cut off date, so it's like..dude. Nobody else fit the description back then), but the devil wouldn't support God. I mean telling people to praise and credit God and do what the scriptures say would kind of be like...a death sentence for the devil or a demon. Plus God loves everyone. What would be the point of singling out people who REALLY want to follow and be with Him and sending them to hell? I mean...we do it just the same as the Jews do, so it'd be rather weird to let us be led astray when He can see quiet well otherwise...

I mean, gah...there's about a billion things I'm probably not mentioning here that make it like "dude, when the devil deceives people, he TOTALLY won't choose the life the Lord did" I mean, the devil, his demons...they just can't and won't do the stuff God does and I know it, but it's like this irritating nagging doubt that won't leave me and sometimes it makes it really hard to pray to God and I just want my faith and relationship with Jesus back.

Then today it gets much more "fun". Mom comes home and, after like...a year of pain around her back and all this stuff, she finally finds a reason for it. She has a skip in her heart. Needless to say my dad's taking her out to the doctor--appointment or emergency, we don't care, but...it's like...that scares me to begin with. I so need to be close to Jesus Christ right now and I SO want my mom to be ok...

I feel like such an evil and bad Christian. I mean, letting the devil honestly make me think such things about Jesus. I mean...I KNOW I'm not the only Christian to probably think like that. I'm sure many others have and I'm sure many others have probably even thought of other and better reasons against satan's doubts than I have. At first I even worried I was blaspheming, but my mom said it was different since I was doing it to "shut satan up" and prove him wrong. But...gah. Now I guess it makes me sadder since she told me that and now God only knows if she'll be ok. I don't want to lose her and I know my dad wouldn't exactly handle it well either...

Please just pray...I know I mostly come here to ask questions and for prayer requests, and I'm sorry for that. I don't mean it badly. I'm not very talkative, I just need help from people who can see where I come from now and then...thank you so much if you even bothered to read half of this...God bless.

[Midori]

I am praying for you, yes I am. Remember that temptation isn't sin--even Jesus was tempted. And even if the only posts you made were prayer requests, we wouldn't love you any less. Hang in there!