CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Sorry for sounding so selfish, but I'm going crazy!
The economy has hit me and my family very hard, my father in real estate, and are 1 step up from poverty. Now my dad has quit real estate, and works in the mall with my mom, who has her first job in 20 years. We are all working, and bearlly have the esentels. My brother has medical bills out the butt from being an epileptic, we've sold all our "valuable" things, and watch antenna TV on lawn furniture...But really, that's not my biggest concern, just icing on the cake.
Most my life I've really only had 1 friend. Now, I live a state away, and only talk by phone and myspace. I know no one here now, and am depressed. Mainly, just want a girl to give me the time of day. I figured I would get a job at starbucks. ALWAYS a cute girl there! Or at least there WAS one at the one I got hired at, till "I" started to work there (it's in a grocery store). I just have the greatest timing. Now, I work with the biggest idiot of boss, her nice assistant, a sweet elderly lady, a don't-know-if-he's-gay guy, and a very irresponsable guy. All the other girls are "baggers" and underaged. I'm stuck back in a lil corner, with no one but rude customers. I bearlly work with any coworkers, cause our hours got cut 4 times 1 month. We can bearlly function. I work alone all day at work, and come home to an empty house. I can't really relate to a single person at work. It seems like not a 1 of them is Christian.

I'm constantly alone, and am a big hopless romantic. I long for the days when I had the sweetest blue eyed girl to talk to every night, see the holy spirit shine from her, and knowing I was the 1 she thought about all day. Now that all seemed like a sweet dream, but I'm living in this endless nightmare!
I even finally asked this nice girl I met online out, after slowly getting to know her. I had slot in common with her...like, ALOT! I casually asked her out, and she IGNORED me! Not even a simple no. IGNORED me. I waited a whole month for her answer, and finally said she could have at least said no....and she still ignored me! I HATE being ignored! I'm ignored at work that I'm mostly at, by snobby bosses who care more about they're money and vacations than my ability to run my department, or buy food. And really, I feel like I'm ignored by God. Yes, I know we still have food and a house, but we may not even have that for too long!

I could go on forever, but I could never say all that is tearing me apart everyday! It really feels like they is no end in sight, or possible solution. I feel very hopless in general life, and like a failure in my love life, no matter what I do!

Spector,

*hugs I will not say this is some "test" from God as I don't know if it is or not. Regardless, I know what its like to be stuck in that muck (my own muck of course as I can't really comprehend yours in some ways and others I can). I can only know that God never waste suffering, never waste lonliness and I have only the encouragement that our God is truly with you. I know it seems like an empty platitude, but often times it is in our greatest darkness, despair, and lonliness that our God shines the brightest for us.

This isn't the life he wanted you to have (he'd rather you be in Eden as the rest of humanity I know) but it is the life you have. Now, that isn't a "get over it" statement but rather one that means you have a battle ahead of you. We all do. Both on a spiritual level and on a physical level. Financial stress, mean people etc can drive you nuts...but God is still there and even though it seems you will never, ever get through, you will because you are a survivor. I can tell by how you talk that your not just one to "quit" because of an obstacle.

I will pray for you and I'm sorry if my talking didn't seem encouraging and it wasn't meant to trivalize your pain which is enormous hun, so don't let other's trivalize it either. I am with you if you ever need me and so is God!

God bless

Kelly

Dear God,
Please give Spector peace. Please show him how much you love him and give him the wisdom and courage to face what he's going through now. Please help him find many friends that can help him grow in his relationship with you. Your will be done. In Jesus name.

All things are possible with God!

I'm so sorry dude. I know what a lot of that is like. I'll definetely pray for you, and if you use AIM or anything, feel free to talk to me on that.

Spector,

You are not alone. You are loved by many, even if they are not in your workplace. Know this, you are loved by your parents, your siblings, your friend, and most importantly, GOD.

For Him to ignore you is completely wrong. Remember this. There is no way; it is impossible.

He went through the worst pain and loneliness before He died on that cross.

THE WORST!

He knows EXACTLY how you feel. He loves you like a father would fight through the pain and death to protect his child. He died...for YOU.

Where I work, it is the exact same thing that you are going through. I am a Shift Manager. I am not allowed to make friends with crew members because they can take advantage of me, even the nicest ones. Being in the managing group can be very lonely, also even if the other managers don't like me.

What I say to that?

Let them be that way. You, yourself, have a personal relationship with Christ. He provided you with this job for now, so that you and your family make a living. Who knows, He may open the door for you to take another job. As far as I know, no one else thinks or believes the same way I do, except that we all believe in a higher power. Be strong, my brother! Have faith!

MUST. HAVE. FAITH.

We as the ambassadors of Christ, must live on faith and to pray if we are to live. What is happening right now with you and your family might, MIGHT have something to do with your walks with God. I, along with others here, suggest that you pray with all your heart and with all your soul for God to deliver comfort, happiness and joy, not only physically, but financially as well to your family.

BUT REMEMBER!! REMEMBER!! Do not expect anything from Him except faith that you know, from your heart, that He WILL answer you and He WILL deliver you. Give it time. Patience. I say it again, Patience.

Loneliness can be opposed. Talk to your crew-mates, make a conversation, even to your boss if you like. Make friends with them, even if they don't believe the same things you do. You could talk about the movies...the sky...the birds...cars...whatever.

The whole WORLD is FULL of people...who just haven't met you yet. In relation to the customers, it's the same thing. While taking their order, ask how they're doing, make a bit of a conversation with them, and give them a smile. A simple smile will let them know there are still good people on this earth.

With the lady that ignored you, the hard truth is this...maybe she's not supposed to be with you and she just wanted to be friends. It was something that wasn't supposed to happen for you, because Christ has someone else BETTER for you in your life. Patience is the main ingredient here.

I tell you the truth, I'm older then you, and I'm still single. I admit, I've been part of the cyberdating stuff out there. But it doesn't lead anywhere...except on a computer.

Last thing I want to say is this: it's our patience that keeps us balanced, that makes us possess our souls. Patience IS Faith. It keeps us calm, collected and cool. Loneliness is just us saying, "We want to be loved", when we already are. Think of it this way. The one that will be with you for life, the one that Christ picks solely for you, loves who you are. She will be with you forever and ever. She is having patience to be with you, as soon as she finds and meets you. It makes the feeling of loneliness disappear in my opinion.

Whether it be physical, emotional, mental, spiritual or financial, you are NOT ALONE.

If it helps Spector, here is something for you to listen to:
For Spector...

If I feel so terrible, so lonely...I weep and pray for God to deliver me from this pain of angst and loneliness and know that I am loved and I am here for a reason.

My prayers are with you. Be strong. Stand strong.

*salutes*

*hugs tightly*
I understand how you are feeling.
Keep believing, God will eventually bring that right person into your life before you know it, so keep your hope us and don't search to hard.
Of course always keep and eye out for that person. About the financial problem, I will definitely keep you in my prayers. Keep on Believing

GOD HAS NOT ABANDONED YOU.

Love, your sis in Christ.

I know how you feel so much it's not even funny! There isn't really any advice I can give you... Sorry. But I'll be praying for you!

A friend of my once told me:
"Don't go through heaven and stay in hell, go through hell and stay in heaven."

You're added to my prayers!