...Never was good at spelling.
Anyways, I don't usually make a similar post before the last ones even off the first page, but this is still on my mind allot.
I go back and forth allot in my mind about 2 things: God and girls.
It's the base of a whole mess of problems, but in short, I contradict myself. I know God is way more important than the most Godly relationship, but when I when I try to read my bible, it's usually to try and convince myself I need a girl.
When I try and focuse on finding a girl, I get guilty and do things..read my bible..
I can sense how little time is left here, and try to get myself to focuse on God, but that feeling also just makes me long for companionship even more. I CAN tell you I have every right to feel that way, having little to no friends for the past 5 years, let alone a girlfriend, but then it makes me realize it the reason why is to focuse more on God.
I could go on and on about it all, but my I-Pod battery is low. It's just kinda depressing knowing that the only accessable church doesn't have my age group at ALL, and the few friends I have had the mindset of getting me "smahed" and laid on 21th birthday. Not to mention my whole familys working so don't loose what little we have.
I may have seemed to ramble, but my point is that in the mist of all this heartache lonliness and desperation, I wish you to pray that I get my focuse on what I should focuse on: God, and not girls.
Sorry for the rambling.