CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Ok so I'm really going to try and make this short and sweet so that I can actually get myself to post this, since talking about my issues is pretty uncommon for me. But who knows how it'll end up.

Really to put pretty bluntly I just feel alone in general, be it when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex or just overall personal relationships. This has never really been that big an issue for me before, since for the most part growing up I've just always kind of been by myself with my lone friend or two and things were fine. Granted now and then I had an issue with it, but I could easily supress it and just move on really. But over the course of the past few months things just kind of changed, because I actually got a taste of what it's like to have someone there who seems to truely care and wanted to be around me.

Without going into too much detail about that (since it's really long and a messed up situation), the gist is that I actually ended up developing a relationship with a girl and we briefly dated. This ended pretty badly though, and overall it's just kind of left me dazed and confused. Worse yet is the fact that shortly after this happened, I began talking to another girl, which developed into a situation which in the end just kind of crushed me (mostly due to her inability to be clear about things).

So really I guess I'm just like asking for prayer for strength or something, since because of this I now just long for someone to just be there who I know actually cares and loves me, which is just something I don't really have. Which I just kind of feel is something at this point I'll never have, because I have a huge inability to actually open up and talk with people I don't know. It's something I really struggle with, because for the most part I feel like the person I'm talking to really just doesn't care about what I'm saying and is only humoring me by listening. And that's something I tend to feel whether I know the person or not a lot of the time.

I don't even know if any of that even makes sense, it probably doesn't, but whatever. I just needed to get it off my chest a bit really, and need prayer to help get over it or through it or whatever, because lately I've just been feeling completely worthless and depressed. It's started to actually effect my thoughts and things I do, so I know it's something which needs to change.

And while I'm asking for prayer, I guess I might as well ask for a second thing about something phsyical which has really been bothering me. I'm not really sure if there's actually anything wrong or not, but my hands for the most part shake uncontrollably at times. It varies as to how bad it is, there are times where it's barely noticable, but at other times they're shaking so bad that it makes it difficult to hold things and effects how I do things.

Will be praying for you.

I know about social anxiety and hurts. I would suggest for that part, making yourself a little uncomfortable and open up a little bit as much as you can. Also, believing the other person doesn't care is a hard thing to overcome so I will pray for you

For the shaking, that could be due to anxiety (unconcious or not) or an actual muscular or nerve disorder so I would actually get a doc to look at it. does it happen all the time? Or during certain circumstances? (like when your stressed?)

I pray that God's love can be demonstrated in your life. Even now you're challenging your inability to open up. I've got a lot of empathy for you, O-len. (You mind if I call you that?)

From what I can tell the shaking is pretty much always there, just not always overly noticable. It becomes a lot more apparant though when I'm holding something. Although I have noticed that it does seem to get worse when I get extremely stressed and frustrated.

And nah, I don't mind if you call me that Midori

I still think Osirilen that you should see a doc. It isn't normal for you to have that and while it may be "nothing", getting it checked out can't hurt

There are a couple of bits of wisdom that I can give you. One is to read the Bible and to seek God's face (not what He can give you, but who He is). I used to have tons of social frustration, but as my faith in God increased I was changed spiritually from the inside. And as my inside changed my outlook on life changed and I put myself out there knowing that many people don't care about me one way or the other. The way I see it, Jesus cares about them so I care too. I'm now trusting God that i will see things from His perspective, which is love, instead of my perspective, which was my own surrender and hopelessness. When I read your words I remember what I used to be like and I will say again that you must be changed from within, and this only comes from complete faith in God.

The other thing is whatever you do don't lose hope that things will get better. I did once and it almost ended up very badly. But I have faith that things will turn around for you. First of all you're asking for prayer and "...The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) God hears us. He will help you and take you to the next level of Christian maturity in your life (read my second signature, James 1:2-4).

I am praying for your body and I know that through Jesus you are healed. Wisdom is godly as well. Kunoichi brings up several good points. I would see a doctor.

I will offer a prayer for your health and your spirits. I have been there, my friend, and although I often felt alone, I know I never was. The Lord will be with you through all of it.

I'm sure you've heard this a hundred times, but a lot of what you are going through is part of being the age you are. It {i}is{/i} a lonely and confusing time, which makes it doubly so for people like you and me, who are by nature withdrawn from human contact. I like to believe that God made some of us like this this so we would know how valuable human contact really is. I am certain I treasure my wife's companionship far more than I could have if I didn't know how lonely life was without her.

And I remember well how awful the breakup of my first truly close relationship was. I still know her, and even now the memory hurts a little, despite more than twenty years marriage to someone whom I truly love.

God's blessings will find those who trust in him. Hang in there.

Definetly praying! ...about the hand thing, my friends hands shake when she hasn't eaten enough sugar, try some sugar and see if it gets better.