A prayer request, and apology.
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 1:53 pm
First off, I know I'm not a very good person. I haven't treated some people so well. I got a little fired up and emotional, and did some things I probably shouldn't have.
I haven't been doing so well this week. I lost my best friend, and I'm still dealing with it. As far as I know, it wasn't my friend's decision that we stop talking (and it wasn't mine either lol), so this past week I've been trying to hold onto hope that we'll still be friends. I have plenty of reasons to believe she won't forget me, or move on, and that when we can talk again, she'll still feel the same about me, but it's been hard to hold onto the hope. It's been overcast and raining a lot, and a couple people have been total downers about it. It's also been hard, because a lot of the things I do remind me of her. I was reading some stuff about games, and it reminded me how we used to talk about how great it'll be when we live together, we can read about games together and go out and buy them and play them. I got a ring in the mail, and the first thing it made me think of is how I wish she was there so I could tell her about it. I was also suicidal the first couple days, I literally couldn't stop wishing I had a gun. I've moved past that, the suicidal part, but I guess I was just putting in some history. I love her, more than any other living thing on this planet, and I miss her. I guess part of this post, is so that if she gets online again, she can read it, and know that I'm always thinking of her, wishing she was well, loving her, and missing her.
I guess if people could just pray for her, that she'll be well, and that I'll be well, and be able to deal with her absence (and that she'll come back to me again) and that things will just work out between her and I, it would be appreciated.
I haven't been doing so well this week. I lost my best friend, and I'm still dealing with it. As far as I know, it wasn't my friend's decision that we stop talking (and it wasn't mine either lol), so this past week I've been trying to hold onto hope that we'll still be friends. I have plenty of reasons to believe she won't forget me, or move on, and that when we can talk again, she'll still feel the same about me, but it's been hard to hold onto the hope. It's been overcast and raining a lot, and a couple people have been total downers about it. It's also been hard, because a lot of the things I do remind me of her. I was reading some stuff about games, and it reminded me how we used to talk about how great it'll be when we live together, we can read about games together and go out and buy them and play them. I got a ring in the mail, and the first thing it made me think of is how I wish she was there so I could tell her about it. I was also suicidal the first couple days, I literally couldn't stop wishing I had a gun. I've moved past that, the suicidal part, but I guess I was just putting in some history. I love her, more than any other living thing on this planet, and I miss her. I guess part of this post, is so that if she gets online again, she can read it, and know that I'm always thinking of her, wishing she was well, loving her, and missing her.
I guess if people could just pray for her, that she'll be well, and that I'll be well, and be able to deal with her absence (and that she'll come back to me again) and that things will just work out between her and I, it would be appreciated.
