CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I find myself feeling totally awful and useless, for three main reasons...

I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression, and this keeps me from being able to feel peaceful while I say and do things over and over again because I feel it's the only way to get rid of the bad feelings. I go to a psychiatrist but don't even feel comfortable to talk about what I go through because it mainly deals with guilt, which is part of my second problem...

I've committed awful sins, mainly dealing with lustful thoughts. I've confessed my sins and really don't want to commit them ever again. My problem is that I still feel so guilty over my sins, and it's mainly because of my physical problems. I can't feel forgiven, I'm often still feeling the guilt of my sins, even though I've repented from them. My guilt often ends up being used as a temptation, as I feel so awful that I go back to the same sins I hate so badly, and then end up feeling worse because I wanted to repent and failed. It's so much like what Paul talks about it Romans 7, but with the added problem of my OCD making me feel like I can't be forgiven, even though I know according to God's Word that I am.

My final problem is mostly beyond my control. Basically I've been ostracized from my friends because they all want to get drunk all the time, and I don't. I've been friends with them for a long time, going to the same Christian school and church, but now I'm being left out because I don't like getting drunk (we're all of legal age). I'm not calling myself even a good person, I just am trying to follow God by avoiding drunkenness, and things are falling apart in my social life.

All I ask is for prayer, I can't get out of this without God's help.

I will pray bro...

I can't say I understand altho i will tell you that you are not alone. Sometimes in this life we can only focus on living minute by minute rather than not sinning, cuz we are going to fall...it will happen. However, this does not trivalize what you are going thru in the least bit. If you ever wanna talk you can PM or you can read about my issues as well in the thread/ threads here lol i have a few myself lol

Do what you can and leave God the rest. Unfortunately, that is all we can do but as I said it doesn't trivalize your suffereing.

To a degree, I can sympathize with what you are going through. I will keep you in my prayers.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I command lust and OCD and all manner of unclean spirits to flee from you.

I am definitely praying for you, and I am so happy that you have a heart that wants God in your life. In your position it may be easy to go the other way. Also, be sure to make the distinction between feeling awful and useless and being awful and useless. If you are saved, if you believe that Jesus is your Lord and Savior, then by definition you are a child of the living God and you are more than a conqueror - whether you feel like it or not. I'm sure Peter felt like one of the worst people in the world when he denied Christ three times, but God predestined him to be a great apostle. You will feel terrible some days in your life, but not for long. After Jesus instructed His disciples before He was arrested He said:

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

That's why I'm so glad that you already know you can't get out of your problems by your own strength. Allow God to use you to advance His love and His Kingdom because He is in you and is with you wherever you go. It is only your sin that causes you not to see Him.

"Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."
-Isaiah 59:1-2

I sometimes struggle with lust as well, as do most of my friends at church. But we rely on God and the godly counsel He gives us through one another as His children. Just take heart in this:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

I am also happy you don't like drunkenness. Way to go! Have you ever told your friends about what God thinks about that? What do they say about Galatians 5:21 "and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."