I hate myself for this.

[Aedin]

So um, for some reason it's really hard to post this. I think some people know I've been going through a really hard time lately for a few reasons (and I feel really bad for all my topics and for talking so much about my stuff to everyone I've talked to). I have some kind of learning disorder, either Asperger's or some thing called NLD (it's probably NLD) and I've been thinking lately about all my problems, and everyone that knows me knows that NLD or whatever my disorder is why I'm different. And I've realized lately I'm too different to have friends. I just don't interact with people the way normal people do, I can't. No matter how hard I try (and I have tried) I just can't, I'm too different and I always do something wrong. And I've started to realize that's why I don't have friends, I don't interact like normal people do, which makes me different, and I'm just too different from everyone else to have friends, I'm not good enough. It's been like this my whole life and I just don't see how it will ever change. I'll never be good enough. And I've been praying about everything everyone tells me to, and I've been taking everyone's advice, and nothing happens, nothing changes, I don't see God helping me or doing anything and it makes me feel like maybe I'm not worth helping. And I don't get why my best isn't good enough, for anything. And I'm tired of the fact that no matter what I do, nothing goes well, I always screw things up and ruin stuff and make everything worse. It's all come together the past few days to make me think maybe suicide really is the answer. People that meet me don't like me, they never have, they never make time for me, and I just can't see it changing. I can't see anything ever changing, and no matter how hard I try I don't see or feel God doing anything or helping me at all. I just don't see any point in anything or hope for anything.

[ClosetOtaku]

I'm not equipped to handle this from a professional level, so allow me to give you some friendly advice: go see a professional about your concerns.

I know you have been taking advice from everyone, but like many medical conditions, advice is rarely effective for the kinds of disorders you have listed.

As far as God listening to your prayers: I believe He has, and I believe He is answering them. He has provided this forum for people to pray for you. He has brought you to the point where you have asked for help from Him and others -- that is where He may want you to be, so that you may learn to be more dependent on Him. And, unless I am wrong, He will make it possible for you to obtain more help from people who can help you on a personal level (unlike me, who can only point you off in a different direction and pray for you).

While I know you may be looking for sympathy or empathy, don't go smearing the name of God in the process.

We must be merciful to God’s reputation. It is easy for us to tarnish God’s character because He never argues back; He never tries to defend or vindicate Himself. Beware of thinking that Jesus needed sympathy during His life on earth. He refused the sympathy of people because in His great wisdom He knew that no one on earth understood His purpose (see Matthew 16:23 ). He accepted only the sympathy of His Father and the angels (see Luke 15:10 ). -- Oswald Chambers

Praying for you, earnestly.

[Kunoichi]

I agree with Closet Otaku

I also know that there are many on here with AS who, although with much difficulty ARE able to learn how to make friends so to speak, so do not despair.

heavenly Father,

Be with Aedin as he goes through his struggles. Give him strength and peace of mind. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen

[Aedin]

I wasn't smearing the name of God. It doesn't matter, I'm sorry, can someone just close this topic?

[Radical Dreamer]

I wasn't smearing the name of God. It doesn't matter, I'm sorry, can someone just close this topic?

Done.