CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I don't have time to type everything I want to say... I have to leave in a couple minutes to get a few things done before bed... so I will just keep it short for now. I really need prayer... these last few months have been full of ups and downs, but the uncertainty of things are really getting me so stressed.

I feel like I am getting no where... I've been working the same job for a while now... it's a good job. I make enough to pay all the bills. I can't complain about that... the thing is, my life is just... the same each day. I mean, I just don't feel like I am doing anything to move forward... it is hard to explain. I don't have any other options right now... unless I take a big pay cut, and then the bills will not get paid... that can't happen. I've been praying and asking for guidance, but deep down, I know I doubt... and it sucks, because I have been able to trust God in the past... just, it feels so lonely right now. I don't feel like I have a relationship with Him. I know it's because I worry and I allow my mind to take over and get full of doubts... always been kind of anxious like that. The thing is, I am just so unsure at the moment. I even wonder sometimes if I ever had the relationship with God that I claimed... and it's very upsetting to think something like that, when I know He is there.

My job is all outdoors related... so I am in the sun all day long, from 5am to whenever I get off. I've been very afraid of getting skin cancer... sun block does like... nothing for me. I'm fair skinned, so it does little to help. I have sun protective clothing, but it always gets ripped up at work... not really made to be rough with... and it's so expensive, that I can't just buy new every couple weeks... it worries me, because it doesn't take much to get skin cancer, and the fact that my risk is higher being fair skinned, and that my whole job is outdoors related, and has been the last few years... it just makes me think I am gonna get it. I haven't been screened for it yet, but I will hopefully do that someday. I just fear that my life will get cut short, before I find my purpose... or that I never will find it... I just want to do what God has for me... but I am really having trouble giving it all up to Him. I have tried, but after months, I just lose it again. I don't have anyone who I can talk to, that is a Christian... not anymore. They all went away to college, so I don't really have fellowship in person much... I left my Church, because everyone there went nuts and the Pastor started preaching messages that didn't go with God's word... the vast majority was scolding on how people need to give the Church more money.

I have other things going on too... but I don't have time to post them right now. Thanks for reading and I appreciate the prayers! It means a lot.

In John 14:12-14, it says:
"I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing.
He will do even greater things than these, becuase I am going to the Father.

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it."
Woodchuck, if u want a life that is more then everyday-the-same, ask Him. If u want friends who can help u in ur Christian walk, ask Him for opportunities to find fellow believers too.

U have my prayers....