CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I don't really know what's been going on lately but I feel as though Satan's been hot on my tail.
I've been struggling with a few different things, whether it's something as simple as finding time to sit down and have a chat with God or other things much bigger. Lately I've been falling into sexual thoughts and lusts worse than I have for a long time. I try to fight it, but it's so much easier to give in... In addition to this, this past week has been a bit of a hell for me. I've been constantly battling these thoughts of worthlessness and self pity, self hatred, self doubt about whether I can even break free from my old self and old habits. In having to talk to a new friend sometimes about my past uprooting all the things I've done makes me feel worse with every thing I have to talk about. It's like I've forgotten, and then I have to remember it all. I am constantly ashamed, and I feel disgusting.
My own name is like condemnation to me. Every time I hear it I'm shamed. My own name is rooted in the word pure. And I'm the farthest thing from yet, yet I want it the most. It's like a slap in the face, the cherry on top.
I don't know what it is. I know I've been forgiven, I've been clean for over a year since I made my promise to purity. But for some reason I'm having huge repentance and regretful and ashamed feelings for my past, it's as though it isn't in the past when it so clearly is. Satan's tripping me and keeping me down, because as long as I'm wallowing in self pity and self disappointment and shame I'm thinking of only myself and not others. That's sinful in itself!

I guess I would just like a few prayers for strength and perseverance in this time of personal struggle...

In 1st Cor. 1:27-29 it says:
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.

Just yesterday I was struggling with thoughts and feelings of worthlessness myself (though it was more related to school) and read this verse this morning and realised that even if we think we are worthless the truth is that we are not, becuase we were called by God for something greater then what other ppl (and ourselves) think we are capable of....

With God's help u will come out of this....The storm cannot last forever....U have my prayers......

It seems that everyone goes through a period in their life when they feel the weight of their sin come crashing down on them.

Try this: Find a place by yourself for a few minutes, and pray specifically that God would wash over you with his peaceful presence. Ask him to clear your feelings of self-doubt and loathing, and to replace them with the sense of his unending love for you. Ask him to show you what HE sees, and take the time to listen. Ask him what your good characteristics are, and think back over the things you've done that you are proud of. He will show you who he sees you as. Let him start to heal your soul.

At your age, the emotions tend to run on overdrive, and it's hard to believe that other people really have gone through the same thing - but we have. Many of us have been there, and we got through it - so you can you.

When you feel yourself beginning to focus on the negative, think back to what God has shown you! I know it's hard, but the only way through it is to keep walking. You're in our hearts and prayers!

I would agree with what Danderson and Mithrandr have said. Here are a couple other Scriptures that might be of encouragement:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Phillipians 3:12-14

and...

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus... - from Romans 8:1

Remember that just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean that your feelings are true. The Word of God is true, and it says that if we walk in the light, we have fellowship with God and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sins. It sounds like you know this already, but when the devil starts giving you a hard time with this stuff, it's hard to totally resist him. (And believe me, I've been there.) I would encourage you, if you haven't been, to really get rooted in the Word, especially passages that speak of who we are in Christ and of God's love for us. (I'd recommend Romans, Galatians, and 1 John for starters.) And don't just read it, but trust it. Then you'll have something to stand on when the enemy comes to attack you. That doesn't mean Satan won't still try to lie to you and attack you, but when he does, you'll know the truth, and that truth is greater than any attack Satan can throw at you.

Lifting you up in prayer, my sister.

I just want to thank everyone who's lifted me up in prayer and thrown in verses. It's been so helpful, and it was a good reminder to get rooted in the scriptures. I'm feeling better, and I really appreciate the Godly counsel.
Thank you so much!

Praying for you.

I just wanted to add a quick shout of praise to God for how restoring He can be and how great it is to be able to lean on Him and dig into his word. Also praise and thankfullness for all the people who responded to my request, as I am constantly reminded how thankful I am to have found this site and fellow christian friends.

I was struggling with some similar things this week about that. Especially about knowing I was forgiven but not feeling it. The song "East to West" by Casting Crowns really helped me out with it. I'll keep you in my prayers, that God shows you just how much He loves you, regardless of how you feel about yourself, and that He shows you just how worthy you really are. And that He teaches you how to get past those thoughts of condemnation and shame and everything else not of Him.
And for me I find when I'm getting into self-pity and self condemnation listening to praise music, and reflecting on everything God has done for me (and boy has He done a lot), and just thanking God for it, really helps. And even though you may not feel it at first, keep doing it, and it will start to help. My pastor was talking today about how satan tries to do anything to keep us from God, to rip the Christ part out of us and take away His power. But God has equipped us with the tools to beat the enemy.