Hey guys,
well those of you in the General lust prayer thread have been following what i have been going through, so if you are interested you can read it there...
but i'm really hurting right now. I can't sleep, I have no appetite and I'm afraid I'm falling back hard into my depression.
Ya know what? Might as well tell you....
I cheated on my boyfriend, not just a kiss but sexually as well, , lied about it for months to him, finally told him and he still loves me regardless. Well then we ended up, or rather I, broke up with him because I know that I want to become right again before going out with him or anyone else for that matter.
So mentally and emotionally, I'm a little confused right now. I'm going from feelings of feeling that I'm beautiful despite my sins, to feeling I am unworthy of love, happiness or grace. And that I should be alone for the rest of my life.
These thoughts may seem selfish, maybe they are, but I'm still feeling them and I'm hurting so bad. I can't think straight. It is affecting my jobs, my school and my life. I have tried talking about it, but nothing helps.
I have seeked God's forgiveness, but I can't forgive myself to what I have done and become. I do not want to be someone who is dishonest or who cheats or any of that and I told myself that I would never do that yet I did it...so I also am having feelings of Hypocrispy.
I know the Lord is good and just and forgives me, but I do not know how to forgive myself and move towards the path the Lord has set before me...whatever that is cuz I can't figure that out either.
Please pray. This is a very hard time in my life. When I get like this, because I struggled with suicide for many years, its trying to creep back in and I do not want it.
Thanks and God bless
Kunoichi
Hurting and Pain
14 posts •
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Hurting and Pain
I am on the forefront of battle against the demons of earth. All Praise and Glory be given to God Forever and Ever!
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:-
Kunoichi - Posts: 1219
- Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 8:18 pm
- Location: Everywhere But Nowhere
I'll be praying for you Kunoichi.
Come now,and let us reason together,saith the Lord:Though your sins be as scarlet,they shall be as white as snow:though they be red like crimson,they shall be as wool.
Isaiah1:18
I,even I,am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake,and will not remember thy sins.
Isaiah 43:25
Come now,and let us reason together,saith the Lord:Though your sins be as scarlet,they shall be as white as snow:though they be red like crimson,they shall be as wool.
Isaiah1:18
I,even I,am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake,and will not remember thy sins.
Isaiah 43:25
[font="Arial Narrow"] Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name. Psalm86:11[/font]
Proud lurker? Join MOES,and help us stay cool.
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Proud lurker? Join MOES,and help us stay cool.
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Amzi Live - Posts: 360
- Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:12 pm
- Location: I walk in fields,forests,and cities of sound ♪♫♫♪
God loves us as we are, not as what we wish we were.
You should still strive to be clean in body and spirit, but never forget that he hasloved you even in your very worst moments. He wants you to accept his peace as a gift. He will never withold it and demand that you earn it, merely that you accept him, and his love.
Go forward in his strength, Kunoichi. We'll be praying for you.
You should still strive to be clean in body and spirit, but never forget that he hasloved you even in your very worst moments. He wants you to accept his peace as a gift. He will never withold it and demand that you earn it, merely that you accept him, and his love.
Go forward in his strength, Kunoichi. We'll be praying for you.
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May He cause His face to shine upon you.
May He lift up His countenance and grant you peace.
Feel free to visit My Writing.com Portfolio
Largo: "Well Ed, good to see ya. Guess I gotta beat the crap out of you now."
Jamie Hyneman: "It's just another lovely day at the bomb range. Birds are singing, rabbits are hopping about, and soon there's going to be a big explosion."
May He cause His face to shine upon you.
May He lift up His countenance and grant you peace.
Maokun: Ninjas or Pirates? (Vikings are not a valid answer, sorry)
EricTheFred: Vikings are always a valid answer.
Feel free to visit My Writing.com Portfolio
Largo: "Well Ed, good to see ya. Guess I gotta beat the crap out of you now."
Jamie Hyneman: "It's just another lovely day at the bomb range. Birds are singing, rabbits are hopping about, and soon there's going to be a big explosion."
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EricTheFred - Posts: 1691
- Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:26 pm
- Location: Garland, TX
I'll be praying Kunoichi, Don't give up hope there is always a light at the end of the darkness
Follow and suggest movies.
Lightscameracritics.wordpress.com
Now running the 15 days of halloween.
Lightscameracritics.wordpress.com
Now running the 15 days of halloween.
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GrubbTheFragger - Posts: 3940
- Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: Colorado Springs , CO
I'll pray as well. I can understand what you're going through, from the standpoint of knowing you're forgiven, but at the same time, not being able to forgive yourself. If we are truly repentent about something, God knows, and He forgives us. He also wants us to move on, and beating ourselves up over something that we've been forgiven of is just walking into the devil's trap of a pity-party. I don't want to sound harsh, but he is called "the accuser" for a reason.
Just remind yourself that we're all human, and we sometimes dig pits that we have a hard time getting out of, and once we're out we realize what a mistake we've made. All we can do is be contrite, be forgiven and forgive ourselves, and move on with our lives--but we'll be a little wiser this time, having learned from our mistakes. I hope this helps. God sees you as a beautiful flower (or princess, or whatever beautiful thing/person you want to be seen as); after all, He died for you because He loves you.
Just remind yourself that we're all human, and we sometimes dig pits that we have a hard time getting out of, and once we're out we realize what a mistake we've made. All we can do is be contrite, be forgiven and forgive ourselves, and move on with our lives--but we'll be a little wiser this time, having learned from our mistakes. I hope this helps. God sees you as a beautiful flower (or princess, or whatever beautiful thing/person you want to be seen as); after all, He died for you because He loves you.
RESPECT THE UNBORN AND CHOOSE LIFE...your mother did.
"Do not underestimate the power of the muffin! The muffin will smite all those who question it! The muffin will crush all nay-sayers! He who controls the muffin shall control the entire world!" -Taishi, Comic Party English Dub
"Do not underestimate the power of the muffin! The muffin will smite all those who question it! The muffin will crush all nay-sayers! He who controls the muffin shall control the entire world!" -Taishi, Comic Party English Dub
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AsianBlossom - Posts: 1376
- Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:00 pm
- Location: *staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare*
Remember Kun, that Jesus is with you and will never leave you no matter what you have done or will do. Just rest in Him.
Hang in there, friend. We'll be praying for you.
Hang in there, friend. We'll be praying for you.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Sheenar - Posts: 2989
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:55 am
- Location: Texas
"Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted."
After reading your prayer request, I suddently understand that verse in a whole new light and on a deeper level. Thank you.
I agree in prayer with you, Kunoichi. May the wounds of your heart be healed. And let our vices be overcomed by our Love with Jesus. Amen.
After reading your prayer request, I suddently understand that verse in a whole new light and on a deeper level. Thank you.
I agree in prayer with you, Kunoichi. May the wounds of your heart be healed. And let our vices be overcomed by our Love with Jesus. Amen.
Naruto Fanfic: Kokoro of Konoha by Sailor Dove
What is the power of the weak and the weakness of power?
What would the butterfly effects be with an OC with no chakra or ninja inclinations but a coveted special sensing ability? But that's not her only closely guarded secret. Psst, don't tell the hyper blond boy she hates ramen.
What is the power of the weak and the weakness of power?
What would the butterfly effects be with an OC with no chakra or ninja inclinations but a coveted special sensing ability? But that's not her only closely guarded secret. Psst, don't tell the hyper blond boy she hates ramen.
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SailorDove - Posts: 598
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:37 pm
- Location: State of Peace
You must not set for yourself a standard of being worthy of God's (or anyone else's for that matter) Love. In God's case, it is grace. Jesus made the sacrifice for you; full well knowing your faults He made the sacrifice anyway. On the human side, your (ex) boyfriend is willing to, at least, remain friends with you despite your faults.
As you can see, love does not require reciprocation. Love is not paid for. One is not worthy or non-worthy of love, because love is exclusively an act on the part of the giver who makes the choice of who to love. As it sometimes happens, you love someone who, by all rights, should really be upset you. However you love them anyway because you can look past the flaws to the soul beyond the surface, and know that you can help them do better.
Note: if you ever have children, you should repeat the above text to yourself on a frequent basis to keep you from getting your kids shock collars for Christmas (jk)
As you can see, love does not require reciprocation. Love is not paid for. One is not worthy or non-worthy of love, because love is exclusively an act on the part of the giver who makes the choice of who to love. As it sometimes happens, you love someone who, by all rights, should really be upset you. However you love them anyway because you can look past the flaws to the soul beyond the surface, and know that you can help them do better.
Note: if you ever have children, you should repeat the above text to yourself on a frequent basis to keep you from getting your kids shock collars for Christmas (jk)
"Those who believe will be saved...so they say. Get it?"
Sister Rosette Christopher
Sorry ladies, already married to HitomiYuriko , but it took both our efforts to come up with daughter Althaia
Please use the Haibane Renmei Lesson Plan
MOES: Can't scroll this.
Sister Rosette Christopher
Sorry ladies, already married to HitomiYuriko , but it took both our efforts to come up with daughter Althaia
Please use the Haibane Renmei Lesson Plan
MOES: Can't scroll this.
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SP1 - Posts: 861
- Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2005 6:30 am
- Location: Kentucky
Wow....Well God loves you and I'm sure he has forgiven you. Just keep looking up to Jesus, he will help you overcome this. I'll be praying you. God Bless.
Some of my favorite scriptures.
Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
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Gabriel 9.0 - Posts: 736
- Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
- Location: Classified
I guess everyone has said it pretty well already, but I wanted to go ahead and say it too: God has forgiven you, regardless of whether or not you might feel like it right now. Christ as already taken these sins upon Himself, regardless of how hard it feels to let go of them now. Best of all, The Lord has already declared that He is making you into the image of His Son, regardless of what we see in ourselves now.
Anyway, I'm absolutely praying that The Lord will grant you peace and joy now and a clearer understanding of what He's up to for your future
Anyway, I'm absolutely praying that The Lord will grant you peace and joy now and a clearer understanding of what He's up to for your future
[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Blitzkrieg1701 - Posts: 1884
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:01 am
- Location: Washington, DC (when I'm not in an alternate universe)
Thank you all!
Yes, I broke up with my boyfriend recently because I nee dto find myself....I'm liek a lost puppy...I may date or may not, but I want to focus on the Lord. Please pray that I can do this too!
I also want to be able to honestly and wholeheartedly say to myself that I am beautiful...cuz I do not htink that I am. I want to be able to say it about my physical appearances and about my heart.
Please pray for my ex boyfriend too as he struggles through this whole situation, his name is Christian.
SP1 lol i want to buy that for kids now! (Teach children, drive me nuts sometimes!)
Yes, I broke up with my boyfriend recently because I nee dto find myself....I'm liek a lost puppy...I may date or may not, but I want to focus on the Lord. Please pray that I can do this too!
I also want to be able to honestly and wholeheartedly say to myself that I am beautiful...cuz I do not htink that I am. I want to be able to say it about my physical appearances and about my heart.
Please pray for my ex boyfriend too as he struggles through this whole situation, his name is Christian.
SP1 lol i want to buy that for kids now! (Teach children, drive me nuts sometimes!)
I am on the forefront of battle against the demons of earth. All Praise and Glory be given to God Forever and Ever!
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:-
Kunoichi - Posts: 1219
- Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 8:18 pm
- Location: Everywhere But Nowhere
I pray for you KUNOIISHI.
GOD BLESS YOU!!!
GOD BLESS YOU!!!
[color="Red"]If GOD brings you to it, He will bring you through it.- unknown.[SIZE="3"][color="Magenta"][color="Red"][/color][/color][/SIZE]:angel:[/color]
[color="Lime"][color="Lime"]"GOD isn't sitting far away with a magnifying glass, but HE is an ever present GOD" -unknown
-meaning he is with us all the time.[/color][/color]
[color="Magenta"]"If you don't trust your wings, you'll be caught in the mountain."-myself:angel:
meaning- "If you don't trust GOD, you'll be caught in the problem."- myself[/color]
[color="Red"]@)}[/color][color="YellowGreen"]-'-,[/color]
[color="Red"]"The farthest distance between a problem and a solution, is the distance between your knees and the floor."- unknown.[/color]
[color="Lime"][color="Lime"]"GOD isn't sitting far away with a magnifying glass, but HE is an ever present GOD" -unknown
-meaning he is with us all the time.[/color][/color]
[color="Magenta"]"If you don't trust your wings, you'll be caught in the mountain."-myself:angel:
meaning- "If you don't trust GOD, you'll be caught in the problem."- myself[/color]
[color="Red"]@)}[/color][color="YellowGreen"]-'-,[/color]
[color="Red"]"The farthest distance between a problem and a solution, is the distance between your knees and the floor."- unknown.[/color]
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12praiseGOD - Posts: 615
- Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:57 pm
- Location: home is where the heart is
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