Prayer for Friendship Restoration....

[Okami]

Hey everyone, I've got an urgent prayer for a person I care deeply for.
I cried myself to sleep last night as I thought of our relationship, and not just a few tears. I mean, sitting there, with a pillow to my chest, sobbing, bawling, and in near-hyperventilation....

We met on the first day of school a few years ago, in health class. That day, we started a relationship that soon spurred into rapid friendship...but, over and over and over I used her for my own gain. She did what I asked because she wanted to keep me as her friend, as she had never had a "real" friend before. Needless to say, our friendship did not start off right, as I continually abused it. I knew I was hurting her, and that if she knew it could really affect our relationship for the worse.

Well, it wasn't until just recently that I have fessed up to those things from our past. I hurt and used and abused her. I confessed to all of this because I want to mend and heal from the brokenness of the past. Because it all relates back to my lust addiction. As of this past July 19, I've been Rededicated. And that means not only to Christ, but to those closest to me, my friends. She had the right to know...

And as another friend of mine mentioned to/reminded me: If I didn't care about her, I would have never told her in the first place of all the things I did to wrong her, and that I never meant to hurt her by telling her; I just did it to get it out in the open and expose my sin.

But now all it has done is drive a wedge between us. She's confused, and even seems to think I hate her. She has every right to believe that, but it just isn't true. That's Satan whispering lies into her ears. I love her, and I care deeply for her. I admit that what I did in the past was wrong, all of it. I hate myself for ever even thinking of using a friend like that. That isn't like me. But I did it, and continued to do it, anyways. I was a false and fake friend. But that isn't who I am. Not anymore. The blood of Christ has redeemed me, has washed all that dirt away.

Let's face it. I'm the one to blame for how she feels right now. She's depressed, and angry and confused. And probably a boatload of other emotions tangled in there, too. All of it is causing her great grief and stress. I'm entirely at fault for all of it.

And I'm concerned for her. Concerned about the way she feels about me, and what she thinks of me...

I love her.

I just cannot say it enough. I love her with the depths of my heart. I don't want to see her in pain and doubt, just because she's witnessed the truth of my past. I feel completely helpless in this situation.

I regret making her feel this way. So useless. I've been so careless. Because of me and my past fake relationship, she's begun doubting her other best friend, thinking that she, too, has been a fake friend all these years...
It hurts, because I also hold a close-knit relationship with her. Between the two of them, we're a trio. And now we're just breaking away, all because I was a fool in my life of old.

I understand she’s having a really hard time believing me and what I’ve said to her in the past few days, and all I can pray is that she'd forgive me, and be willing to give me a second chance at friendship. Despite the things I did in the past to wrong her and deeply hurt her…I want her to understand that I have changed, things have changed, and I’m not who I was. I hate who I was. I want to start anew, begin at zero. I want to make up for what I did wrong, and become the friend she deserves to have. Lord willing we can start again…

In spite of everything, all I want is to make things right. I’m not worthy of her friendship, but I want to restore it, alongside her trust in me...
I was praying about it last night and God lead me to Proverbs 17: 9 ~ “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.â€

[Gabriel 9.0]

Praying for you Okami:thumb:.
God Bless!
I should make a prayer thread from my bro later.....

[chelle0227]

I'l put you in my prayers.

[K. Ayato]

Praying, hon. *Hugs*

[Danderson]

Definetly praying...

[SP1]

Forgiveness means not dwelling on the past. You look like you want to ask her for forgiveness. Have you? This does not excuse you, however.

Perhaps you might point out that you are asking her to forgive you so that your friendship can start anew. If she asks for something to make amends, you should consider that, too.

Praying for you both.

[LadyRushia]

You know I'm praying for you. Keep us posted, okay? **huggles**
[^_^}o

~Rushia

[goldenspines]

I'm praying for you, Okami. *hugs*

[K. Ayato]

Hey, Okami. I found the words to the song "Storm" by Lifehouse. Thought I'd put 'em up here for all of us to read.

How long have I
Been in this storm
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see You
Everything will be alright
If I'd see you
This darkness will turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't
Bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
'Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything will be alright
If I see you
This darkness will turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright

[creed4]

i will pray