Opening up

[Blitzkrieg1701]

God has been really been putting me under conviction lately over a pretty long standing issue, and I could really use some prayer on the subject.

Basically, I'm a coward where talking about serious issues is concerned. 9 times out of 10, if I'm put in a situation where any sort of weight topic (spiritual issues, emotions, life problems, whatever) comes up, I'll either back out or steer the conversation in a less significant direction. And the few times that I actually DO take the step to say something that actually relates to the subject, I usually try to hide it behind a joke or something else that covers up any importance.

It's not that I don't THINK about these sorts of things, I do all the time. The problem is that I'm scared to death of getting into a situation where I actually have to open up about them to someone else. I'm afraid of looking stupid, getting shot down, letting my various flaws be exposed, and so on and so forth. Thus, I retreat to goofing off and playing it "safe."

Like I said, this has been going on for a WHILE, but the Lord has really been getting on me about it as of late. I've been through a whole string of otherwise unrelated events that God has really used to convict me about the problems with this kind of mindset. I know I'm making myself almost unusable as a witness for Christ if I refuse to open up to people about Him, and it doesn't say much about the maturity of my faith if the fear of the unfamiliar is overpowering the believe that God is in control of the situation. Even my relationships with my friends has never been what they ought to be because I've been so bent on keeping my trap shut about my feeling and what's actually going on.

So, at this point, I'm rationally aware of where God is wanting me to grow, now I have to actually let it happen for REAL. Actually, just writing this has been a big step forward. Anyway, I would really appreciate prayer support in all this. I've got that sneaking suspicion that I'm being built up for something, but either way please pray that Go will give me the courage to open up about the things he's calling me to.

Thanks!