CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

For awhile now I've been feeling distant from God, but it just keeps getting worse. I feel more hateful, distant, I don't worry about doing bad things as much...

Thankfully I'm concerned enough I obviously am asking for your prayers and stuff, but still...I just want that same passion I had for God in the past. I want it back. NOW.

...I feel so hollow inside...I feel so angry and sad...I wish I wasn't born or would die. I wish God would quickly repair my broken heart...

Lifting you up, my sister. And in those times that you get to feeling that you are far from God, remember that it's not how you feel that defines your relationship with God, but it's what Jesus did for us that defines that relationship.

It sounds like the devil is really trying to get into your head, giving you thoughts to make you doubt where you stand with God. You can't always help being lied to by the enemy, but you don't have to believe his lies. Here are a couple of Scriptures to use when the enemy starts telling you that God is far away:

from Hebrews 12:5 - "...God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'

from 1 John 2:14, specifically written to young people - "...I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one."

Remember that God has never left you. But it is possible that you may need to get refocused on Him. I'd encourage you to be spending time in prayer and in the Word, if you aren't already. It can be hard to find time, but even if you can break away for 5 minutes or so during your day and spend time with God, I think you'll start to notice a difference. One other Scripture, about that, is from James 4:8 - "Come near to God and He will come near to you."

Hopefully this is of some encouragement. Again, I'll be lifting you up in prayer.

It's always important to remember that, in those times when we feel so broken and distant, that God is closer to us than we can ever imagine. Just pray and call out to Him to bring you back. Remember that you belong to Him and He is always there for you. I went through sort of the same thing while I was in China. My soul was completely broken and I was depressed and sick for days. But during that time of brokenness, the Holy Spirit was clensing and repairing me. And now, I feel so much closer to God.

So remember that you *will* be healed, and then you'll be feeling better than ever. It may take awhile, but cast it all on God. Pour your whole heart out to Him; tell Him exactly how you're feeling. Cry if you have to; don't hold anything back.

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29


Praying that you'll feel better soon. . .

Also, if you should ever find yourself becoming distant, don't feel distraught. For many of the reasons above, but also because it's perfectly normal (if just not natural) for us to drift away. Faith is a series of peaks and valleys, not one large plateau. The valleys just make the peaks more prominent. Remember the israelites. They constantly needed to be told to get back with it. I'm kind of like them in that respect.

I'm so happy that you want to get closer to God. I've been around many who don't.

Listen to what has already been said, and be persistent about it. Keep telling God that you want to be closer to Him, and have faith that it will happen. As it reads in Mark 11:24, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours".

God's peace be with you.

I find that spending time every day in praise and worship towards God (find a worship CD and run it, sing along, something like that), really helps with these types of things. : ) Prayers, sister!