CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

last night events happened that didn't sit well at all with me...mostly with a friend of mine...and lately i've been feeling very alienated with just...EVERYONE...and i find that those who continuously IM me and stuff start to annoy me after a period of time. anyway...back on the subject, i've been getting a feeling like i'm losing touch with my friends(IRL) and then getting told that i'm messing up my parents' marriage didn't help either. i've also haven't been sleeping on a normal schedual and sometimes barely get any sleep at all.

so today when i woke up(after only having 4 1/2 hrs of sleep) i was totally depressed. when i got in the shower i started crying...and then 10 mins later i started crying harder...finaly after about 20 mins(got in the shower at 11:15 or so and i was suppose to be at play practice at 12pm) of crying in the shower...i started crying even HARDER this time more loudly and to where i can be heard through our walls. my dad then starts shouting at me to hurry up and asking where i am and that's when i started screaming when i was crying...then he starts screaming back to me, "ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT'S WRONG?! ARE YOU OKAY?!" and i just couldn't stop screaming... like... as if someone was doing something so horrific in front of me kind of screaming...this lasted for about a good 5mins or so...or at least until i became very light headed and couldn't handle my blood curdling scream anymore with my own ears. then, FOR NO REASON AT ALL, i started laughing...like...crazy raito laugh...it was freaky...and then went back to tiny sobs until i got out of the shower or concentrated on shampooing my hair.

well...while i was in there, my dad called my mom and was acting very freaked out(i heard all this from my mom after play practice), "THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH CHRIS!" "what?!" "I DON'T KNOW BUT SHE STARTED CRYING AND THEN SHE STARTED SCREAMING! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG...DID I DO SOMETHING?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!" "...i don't know..." "I DON'T EITHER BUT SHE NEEDS TO GO TO A DOCTOR OR SOMETHING! I THINK SHE HAS A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE OR SOMETHING!" "...ok, daniel...ok."

o___o so yeah...apparently now my parents think i'm crazy...>___> although i don't blame them...i think there's something wrong with me too...oh and when i started screaming...it wasn't a forced out scream...it was like...it just came...and i couldn't stop screaming...i wanted to but i just couldn't stop...it was like...when you have to go pee so bad and you just can't hold it anymore kinda scream. I PEED MY SCREAM!!! heh. after that i went to play practice a few mins late...and i kinda had another episode while i was there...XD; i kinda freaked those ppl out too.

o___o; prayers would be nice...and some answers...is this a chemical imbalance...or...what?

I don't think it's chemical imbalance, or that you're crazy. Sounds like it was just a lot of emotion that had been bottled up in the past, and it just happened to come out in an unusual way. I'll be praying. If you're not sure of what could be the case, please don't take the doctor's opinion as final. Bathe the situation in prayer, then make your move.

I'll be praying.

The least I can do is explain the laughing, in case that's weirding you out.

Laughing is a sort of natural reaction, when your body doesn't know what else to do.
For example, I laughed for a good 10 minutes when my favorite fish died.
And in a more complex example, during the first hour of school on a day when we all though a particular someone was going to enter the school and shoot as many people as possible, everyone in the class, even me, just started making jokes, we didn't know what else to do.

And the scream, most likely was just pent up rage. Kind of happens to me when I have a lot of stress, but instead of scream, I just open my mouth and just start making whatever noise first come out for a good while. It feels nice, although it could be annoying around other people.

I kind of doubt it was a chemical imbalance, unless you can relate to one of the following:

* Reduced availability of neurotransmitters like Serotonin, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, GABA and Acetylcholine.
* Increased levels of toxic neurochemicals such as Homocysteine
* Lower levels of serum Magnesium, Zinc or Potassium
* Unhealthy, or deficient levels of essential vitamins like B6, B9, B12 and Vitamin-C
* Undersupply of key cofactors like amino acids that are used to help transport neurotransmitter precursors into the blood-brain barrier.
* Increased cortisol stress hormone levels

Any of those combined with anxiety or depression could cause a chemical imbalance.

*This post was before I read any other posts by the other users other than c.t.,girl's post in this thread sorry. So if it sounds like I haven't read the other posts Im sorry. Becuase it would seem other people beat me to the posting.*


Hmm this is interesting. I wonder what could be the problem. It might just be medical, or its Satan. (Sorry for blamming him, but Im just not sure whats wrong.) Are there reacurring thoughts that come to mind that make you think like that or do you just flat out cry out of nowhere for no reason? Do you feel pressured in or into anything your doing? Is everybody treating you nicely? It might be that you've been getting a major lack of sleep. Have you spoken to God recently for help in these problem areas? Sorry for all the questions but I would like to know what the problem is myself. That does sound really bad with whatever problem you got. I will pray for you.

hm...it probably also doesn't help that i'm on my period at the moment...XD; but i've never gone off the deep end like this before...well...not publicly anyway...

also more frequently i've been more and more depressed and just do nothing...when i'm depressed it's like my mind shuts down and i don't do anything but sit here and look at pretty arts or watch anime or read manga. lately i've only been having one meal a day(which is mostly just rice and fish and some soy milk as something to drink). also wheh i'm depressed, i get these like...shock waves down my arms to my finger tips and they remain in the palms of my hands, which makes me feel even more depressed and in pain.

k-chan : thanks for the prayers

GMOD : @___@; i'm not sure what that stuff is...i've never talked to my doctor about my depression stuff...but maybe what i talked about above may help? ~shrug~

animedude : ...uh...lots of questions...i'll try to answer them all...

Are there reacurring thoughts that come to mind that make you think like that or do you just flat out cry out of nowhere for no reason?
sometimes both...sometimes i'll get depressed for no reason at all...@___@;

Do you feel pressured in or into anything your doing?
@A@ yes...a lot of times i do. nothing bad, it's just like...ppl trying to make me grow up faster than i want to...kinda annoying.

Is everybody treating you nicely?
<___< ...define nicely...

It might be that you've been getting a major lack of sleep.
8) i think that's just adding to everything. XD; as i sit here and type this at 1am

Have you spoken to God recently for help in these problem areas?
yup...o___o i haven't gotten an answer...soooo i'm seeing if he'll speak to me through others.

Hey there.

As someone who went through a time of disrupted sleep and poor eating/drinking coupled with intense anxiety, I recommend you see a doctor. It can really mess you around if you let it get away. Perhaps your outbursts were the result of some form of chemical imbalance and perhaps they were just the consequences of the stress/physical strain of your current lifestyle. Could be both. Certainly sounds like you've got physical problems there. Could be there's emotional/psychological/spiritual problems as well. Whatever it is, I recommend you see a doctor.

I'll be praying for you.

Piney.

I would encourage you to spend some time in the word...hopefully it'll give you that answer you were looking for (or maybe an answer that you weren't looking for, but needed to hear....if that makes any sense at all)...

...Just remember that whatver is going on, if you have Christ living inside of you then you can overcome whatever this.....You'll be in my prayers...

Lifting you up, my sister. Remember, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

Praying for you...

I don't think it's chemical imbalance, or that you're crazy. Sounds like it was just a lot of emotion that had been bottled up in the past, and it just happened to come out in an unusual way. I'll be praying. If you're not sure of what could be the case, please don't take the doctor's opinion as final. Bathe the situation in prayer, then make your move.

I'll be praying.

I'd have to second K-chan here.

If you do end up going to a counselor or doctor, make sure they are Christians and servants of Christ.

It sounds like things are pretty tough. Yet, there is plenty of good in all of this. This is a great opprotunity for you to grow closer to God and for him to refine you!

I'd also like to point out that it looks like maybe Satan is trying to break you down. Perhaps because God has a big plan for you? Perhaps Satan sees you as a threat?

I am praying for you! *hugs* You are such a sweetheart, I can't wait to see how this story turns out!

Here, I've looked up some verses that might be of encouragement or help:

> Isaiah 26:3
"You will keep him in perfect peace; him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

> 1 John 4:4
"...greater is the one that is in you than he who is in the world"

>Isaiah 40:29
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."

>Isaiah 53:4-5
"Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquites; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

>Psalm 42:11
"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so distrubed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

>Nehemiah 8:10
"....Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

>John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

>Phillipians 4:8
"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworhty-think about such things." (I'll probably make a thread on this one lol)

So you haven't been eating much except one meal a day and limited sleep. Those maybe a few factors to your problem. I suggest seeing a doctor believe me know you have something is better than not knowing at all. (Yeah that sounds cheesy, sorta like those aids comercials. But insinuating you have any disease at all.) So just get it over with, it may become a hindrance to you later in life if you don't deal with it. (Not really saying you have anything Im just saying the possibility.)

Responses to answers of questions I just asked.
(1) Well everybody does get depressed and sometimes for no reason. I do that often myself. Just look for happiness. Try to make yourself happy sometimes even if its for no reason at all. Its good to be in a good mood. Not that this will end your depression but it will help.
(2) I don't think that being pressured to grow up is a factor. Might be, but probably not. I just think its good to be silly while you can. Of course anybody can be silly.
(3) Nicely as in is everybody being nice to you? Does anybody hate you or not like you that may in some way bug you?
(4) At least try to get at least 6 hours of sleep. Yeah going to bed is hard for me too, but if its a problem then we should try to get rid of it.
(5) Id say to wait for God to respond. Give Him a chance. Believe me its all in His time that He will reveal to you with whats wrong. He may speak through other people or maybe just an object that says something to you that reminds you of something God would say. Anything, just get your eyes on the look out. Sooner or later you will find out the problem, just don't rush God.

And lastly Im not an expert(or even a amatuer) in any medical field or psychology, but Im just trying to help through my own way. Not that any of my advice is useful in anyway, you'll just have to decide for yourself if it does. And don't worry if my advice doesn't work for you remember that Im still praying for you. May God be with you!

(1) but i get depressed a lot...a lot more than the ppl i know...and when i'm depressed i can't get out of it...

(2) it's my family that's doing it to me...

(3) there are some ppl that seem to be upset with me yes...and it tends to eat away at me if i know these things...

(4) .__. i'm trying...but insomia doesn't help...

(5) XD; patience is not something i'm good with...

thanks

One thing you could try, as far as the growing up goes, is to just carry out your activities in a mature fashion. I'm not saying you've not done it at all, mind you. Speaking from experience, sometimes parents and authority figures don't believe someone's grown up because (as cliche' as it is) the person hasn't shown any indication of it.

What I'm not suggesting is that you sit your parents down and say "Look! I AM grown up!" and list the stuff you do. That doesn't go very far. You could ask in a neutral tone what they define as being grown up. If nothing else, you'll get a glimpse into how they perceive things.

Personally, being grown up means having a way to support yourself (or diligently working towards it, whether it be going to school or something), carrying out your responsibilities in home while you still live there, and managing your money wisely. It also means doing something for the family once in a while.

Sorry this post is long, but I hope what I shared helps you fix things in time. Still praying, hon.