Forgiveness? (Sorta. ...really long. xDD;;)

[Bap]

Right now. I'm just. really angry with a friend. Like, I dunno. It's been a thinking night for Bap, and earlier tonight, I was sorta mad at some other stuff, but it was more of comical mad thing, I made a rant about it, and I felt better.

And basically more stuff happened, nothing like, bad, just stuff so that I don't want to take a whole lot of time typing and you guys reading.

Well, some trivial stuff gets me like, really, really frustrated, just some computer things. xD; Really.. angry. >_>;

butyeah, I figure it all out, and am finally able to do what I'd been trying to do. Basically log into messenger and talk with a friend so that I could ramble about it to them.

Basically, halfway through my ramble, they tell me they don't care. (They sorta do this a lot. xD;)

And I... totally bite their head off.

and I was just really mad at them. and I just like... didn't want to talk to them. like. ever.

...and, well, this whole thing was asking for you guys to help me forgive. and, partially. Still. please pray for that. Because... well, I'm going to have to. go off a bit before I get onto that.

basically, while I was typing this, all of a suddenly the thought hit me... ...well, I can't really remember what it was, but it was basically the thought of apologizing to my friend for biting their head off.

Because, you know. The Bible says that we should like. love mercy or something, right? We should love giving away forgiveness as well as receiving it.

So... while I'm apologizing to my friend, I'm still not sure if I apologized the right way, but I don't really. feel... as mad. like, I actually feel a little happy at the moment. xD;

And slightly paranoid that I really didn't apologize the right way, and this happy feeling is actually something I've subconsciously forged, and since I haven't really forgiven my friend, I'm going to burn. D:

...so. ...yeah, prayer for that would be nice as well. xD; (I've saved the apology part of the chat, so if anyone would like to analyze it to ease my paranoia, you're welcome to do so. :D;)

Anyway, yeah... so, I think I've forgiven them for the most part, (I think when I asked for forgiveness, I forgave them as well? xD; if... that even makes sense) I mean. when I think about it, I start to get a little angry and bitter and think the thoughts I did before, but it's like that whole bell metaphor right? I have to take my hands off the bell... ringing... rope, and just forget it, or something? xD;

but.. yeah, I mean, and part of the reason I'm not sure I've forgiven them completely it because of the whole.. thinking back on it thing, and how like. Yeah, we are friends and stuff, I still like.. sorta don't want to talk to them? and I don't know if that's just because, or because of the angry-ness, or maybe not because of the angry-ness, or maybe 'cause the chat brought up how like... I dunno... we have nothing to talk about? or. well. ...darn it, I'm so sorry, I could like. thought post for forever on this. xD;

Basically, please pray about me forgiving my friend (also, just to. add to me forgiving my friend, I originally made this request thread 'cause I didn't feel like forgiving my friend at all, and I wanted to hold my grudge), my weird paranoia, my friend forgiving me, me finding out about how I should deal with all the... negative feelings I so obviously have in this friendship, and... I think that's it for the. asking part. xD; I'll add more if something else comes up.. but also praise, 'cause I mean... the thought of saying sorry just randomly came out of nowhere, like, as I was typing this request?

I have my suspicions it was God helping me out? :D and it worked really well. soyeah. Praise for the guidance He gave me. 8D

and apologies for the long ramble. xDD;;;

[ADXC]

Well, Im no expert on friendships. But I do think you should say your sorry. And they should give you one as well for not caring in the first place, but don't expect one because we as christians may forgive someone when in actuality they deserve to give one as well. And yeah, it was God who was saying to forgive them. You see God can work through your conscience as well as pray. Pretty much if your a christian God IS your conscience. Im not sure what will happen next. But if you ask for forgiveness Im sure they will forgive you and also may ask for your forgiveness towards them for not caring. But I believe this will blow over fast. For boys its like it never happend, but for girls it may take a little longer. Just be the first to admit you were wrong and they should follow after. And again I am no expert on this stuff, but I do think something as trivial as this should not keep you from having a good friendship with your friend. But thats only if you trully think this person is definitely your friend. Well I hope something here helped a little, anyways I will be praying for you!

[Pinecone Tortoi]

I agree with animedude90 - apologies are in order from both sides, but don't go trying to extract one from the other person. Hold up your side as God wants you to. The rest isn't your responsibility.

But take it from me - I know how you feel about not forgiving as easily as you intended to. I recently got let go from my part time job in, thanks to mutual misunderstanding, quite an embarrassing way. And then I found myself snarkily looking for little things to charge 'em for in my final invoice. I didn't, of course. When that occurred to me, I immediately set it aside, decided to forgive them and chose to move on.

...

Few moments later, whatcha know, I'm at it again. Resenting the poor folks. Feeling self-righteous and victimised. Not good. This whole forgiveness process is a lot harder than it seems. Figures I'd have problems with this - I'd sort of felt up to now that I'd never have trouble with forgiving people.

Point is, you're not alone. I'll be praying for us both. And something I find helps with the forgiveness thing is to look at it from a neutral/opposite point of view. Start to see your resentment as wrong and the other person as lovable (not in the cheesy, teddy bear sort of way, but in the 'fellow human, distant relative, whole and precious person' sort of way... you know what I mean?). Getting a balanced perspective helps. The longer you dwell on their shortcomings and what they did to you, the easier it is to feel justified in your grudge. And perhaps you do rightfully deserve an apology. But we're not called to remember petty grievances - or even massive grievances - we're called to show the same bountiful forgiveness God gave us. While being called to forgive doesn't make it easy (though it can help start us in the right direction), loving the other person makes things MUCH easier.

I don't like being fired. I don't like the way it happened. But I think the people who let me go probably didn't understand why I was there and if they had, they might have kept me on. Even if that's not the case, they're still lovable people and seeing them in that light helps me to get over it.

Hope this helps. Don't forget you're not the only one struggling with this and don't give up! I'll be praying for us both,

Piney.

[Bap]

x3 Okay, thanks to both of you for your advice and prayers. <3 I really appreciate it, and I think I'm doing better. 8DD