CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

well, i thought i was doing better..but after micah and i moved to maine..i just got so depressed...and every month we've been here i've goten even more depressed...right now i am at an ultimate low. so much that every day i think abouy killing myself. drowning, cutting...anything to get out of this life. i know before that i've had issues with suicide..but this time..it's not out of frustration...it's out of despair and hopelessness. I just don't want to live. Even when i think about death i hope that God gives me the option to become nothingness because i just don't want to exist. It probably doesn't help that when i think or dream about eternity i start to cry in fear and come under what feels to be an anxiety attack...;-; i dunno why i'm posting this....*sigh*...whatever....=_= i guess it's just cause i don't really have anyone to talk to anymore.

I'll be praying, hon. Have you been to a church at all since you moved?

nope...still don't feel comfortable. and my sleep schedule's off. most of my reason's for nto going to church are just excuses. i hope that when we move to a new place i can find a church around there...

You may not have a church, but you have us on here and we'll try our best to help^^ I know I myself haven't been to church for months... For some reason, my work schedule just NEVER gives me that one day off :/ Been... a while for me and I do wish I could go. For you though, I'll definitely be praying and hope that things may start to perk up a bit...

No matter how bad you think life get's, it's not worth killing yourself...
We all go through times or depression (though we all handle it diffrently becuase of our disctinct personalities), so you're definetly not alone...

I encourage you to take a look back on your life and evaluate how far you've come (whether it be in relationships, or academics, or hobbies or whatever.....you'd be surprised)...now think about all the friends you've made over the years....what good would you being doing for them if you took your life?...

Now I know that I really don't know what has happened to you in your past, but let's think of it this way...God has put you on this Earth for a reason...for a purpose...You may know what it is...or you may not...God cares about you more then you think, enough to know that you are not nothing...In Christ, each of are something...And I pray that you would consider these things whenever you feel suicidal...

You will be in my prayers...

Aw, B_F...I know it's hard, I do. I really truly do. And I'll be praying for you, it's a hard journey to get away from such temptations, but I believe you can do it!

...remember the iguana that you wanna get, if that can help any

i'm feeling better everyone. thank you

Satan is in your ear constantly. Telling you things like "You know you really are nothing." But thats all he says though. Its like planting a seed in your mind than over time it grows untill you start thinking sudicidally. I may be younger than you, but in the past Ive felt like I don't belong here or even should exist. But lately I try to talk to God through my mind, and He says that Satan is trying to get us down constantly. Everybody gets hit with depression, but people who aren't very social and/or have no friends tend to think to themselves. You see thats where thinking becomes very dangerous. Satan sees this as the opportune moment to place a thought into your brain, and than you continue to think and then boom! You got yourself a really bad weed. But you can destroy these "Weeds" by simply talking to God. Its hard, he may not respond in the way you'd like. And sometimes He will speak to you in the oddest of ways, like through some person or you see some object that makes your brain think about it. Or something odd like that. And also He does speak to you always, just in a still soft voice. Because sometimes you may want to talk and listen to God but then maybe God won't think it to be as effective yet until later when your a little bit more calmed down. Life is tough, I don't really have any friends. I do have one, and Hes always there for me. Jesus is the best buddy you can have no matter what. And He's trying to talk you out of these things you've been thinking about, but alot of the time we just don't take the time to listen. I don't know if this is helping you out any, but it sure is for me. Sometimes I just have to type something for myself you know? Well I pray for the best of you!