what can I do?

[Tenshi no Ai]

It's been an interesting few months and after different understandings and experiences, I've been deep in thought lately (which is why that one topic in the spiritual growth section popped up). First off, lately it's been hard for me to get closer to God, mostly because of my small groups disbandoning and never getting a Sunday off work. Not that I can't get close at home, but it's just nice. lately I've been learning different things and trying to keep an open-mind in the sense of trying to understand other people without judging them etc etc. Interesting though, how alot of people I know have an interest with other religions/beliefs (which I try my best to act indifferent on and respect as much as I can) but when it comes to Christianity, it gets scorned often, along with most Christians they know of (although apparently I'm often an exception, although I'm not what you would call a great example anyhow :/)

After a short history of how I've been as of late I've been doing so much thinking and starting to get back to the point and place I was a few months ago (thanks to CAA and various topics etc). Now, I think about those people I love so much and especially the one I love the most and I feel... powerless... I honestly feel that I myself, can never impact someone's life, especially in a Christian way... I'm always the type who loses in debates and points so I've NEVER been strong in that sense, nor have I been one to be someone where the other person can say "she makes a good point there..." often, I'm that person thinking that :/ Not that I can sway easily, but just on different perspectives (although not the best ideas :/)

Honestly, I just don't feel like I can do anything on my own or special or anything, in a "sharing the word/sharing Christ's ways" in any sense. it's especially hard when it comes to someone whose already read the Bible and already sees it as something negative: a perspective I would have never thought of, and from the negative points has Buddha look so much more glorified and much more appealing (to them, that is). Not that debating's really a good thing (trying to avoid arguemental things) but I could never be able to compose somethign that could make people see from a different angle... I just feel... useless, really :/ I know I know it's God who uses you and it's ultimately Him, but I just don't feel like I'm one who could make a difference in that sense in anyone's life... I SO wish I could though...

Sorry that was so long and probably sort of confusing, but I just... wish I were better and all. Not exactly better faithed, but just... more... useful in that way... I just... wish I could... prayer on it all could be so great... I refuse to give up on people, I just can't... All I feel like I can do really, is pray (and cry while doing so :/) for them... Praying is probably the strongest (if not, the only) strength I seem to have :/ But that's about it :/

[Hotarubi]

The best way to reach people is to live the life.
When people see someone walking the walk rather than talking the talk, they get interested.
They start to wonder what you've got that they don't.
That is the very best way to reach people, debating doesn't work.

In your dealings with people, try to be Christlike.
It will make an impact, even if you don't see it.

There are many different seasons so to speak, and only God knows which one a person is at.
There is the season for planting the seeds of faith, and then there is the season for watering and cultivating, and finally there is the harvest season.
Not everyone gets the excitement of the harvest, but many people water and cultivate.
Don't be discouraged if you're always called into someone's life simply to water, without it there would be no harvest, lol.

I hope this post makes sense hon, I'm falling asleep on my keyboard right now. *big yawn*

[Danderson]

In your dealings with people, try to be Christlike.
It will make an impact, even if you don't see it.

I can agree with that...

...God has given each of us abilities, skills, and/or traits that makes each of us different from everyone else. I know there are times when you probably don't feel like you have any, but I encourage you to look back on your life and think of things you've done for others as well as the things that you enjoy doing.

He has put each of here on this earth for a purpose...On our own strength we cannot fulfill that purpose, unless we ask Him for His strength.

I'll praying that the Lord will give you the strength that you seek...

[K. Ayato]

I so agree with that, based on my own personal experiences.

I'll be praying though. It's hard to live your life as a Christian witness, and feel like no one's ever going to notice the differences it makes.

[itch]

I know the Bible tells us to live in a Christ-like way, but it's more difficult for some than others. I feel pretty useless too in that area, (ministering to others by the way I live.) I guess that's why I try to avoid people. But don't give up, I know I won't. I find it easier to minister to others online. What do you think about that?

[Tenshi no Ai]

I find it easier to minister to others online. What do you think about that?

I try and do it when I can, but there are some offline that I really try and focus on when I can...

[rsnumber2]

For some reason, every time I see you avatar online, I feel a peace coming from your spirit. You do have something special. Some of your posts to other members have been very honest and straight forward. Like you, I am not a debater. I get too emotional, by not knowing the Word well enough. But most people that know me, make comments about my lifestyle and helpfulness. All people are called, or given gifts in different areas. If we were all good at discussions, or debating, who would build churches, take food to the hungry, start a forum like this, etc? You have a special ability, and I will pray that God reveal it to you. (enter cliche here) Don't lose faith, keep your head up, and pray with the rest of us that God reveal your talent.

If he tells you what mine is, let me know. I dying to find out!

[Tenshi no Ai]

For some reason, every time I see you avatar online, I feel a peace coming from your spirit.

Oh wow... never knew I could do something like that^^ It is interesting really, because of who is in my avatar. Have you ever seen Haibane Renmei? Reki is the character from the show, and sometimes I feel like I can relate to her: someone who feels hopeless, but can still find means of redemption... or something^^ Actually I'm probably ALOT more like Rakka, but that's beside the point...

Sometimes I don't feel like I'm the best example, although I try. I can sway sometimes due to a different perspective. Although perspectives are interesting though... But I hope from my own mistakes it won't hinder others' ideas and make me any less of a Christian :/

Like you, I am not a debater. I get too emotional, by not knowing the Word well enough.

I've... been there myself and it wasn't pretty. I didn't get my facts straight on different things and it turned into an ignorant mess :/ Either way, what I try and do is share my opinions, beliefs, ideas with others, rather than cramming down "this is how that it and not the other way!" It's... a very tricky thing. Sad though, although I'm a writer, I really don't have a way with words^^ Sure wish I did though...

Thanks though, for prayers and words of confidence^^ My confidence was also boosted today, if you haven't already gone through this topic. I sure wasn't expecting it, but it blew me away^^

[sticksabuser]

I hope this post makes sense hon, I'm falling asleep on my keyboard right now. *big yawn*

Makes perfect sense... Except you gotta remember that God is very much invloved in that process and does alot of the "watering"... We can only do so much... we sow generously and witness unto The Truth in our words and our lives...

[itch]

I try and do it when I can, but there are some offline that I really try and focus on when I can...

Yes, true compassion. Writers sometimes find it easier to write something helpful, but to say it out loud. . . well, *sticks foot in mouth.*
Hmm. . . I see your point.
Well for what it's worth, when I'm with my friends, I don't curse. I do wonder if they wonder why. Although they never say anything about it, it makes me feel good. Like I'm trying. I really believe that the roads to Hell and Heaven are paved with good intentions. So start actually doing those things slowly. Maybe if you start out with simple things, that may even seem petty to some, it will lead you to doing other good things, and vwala. . . witnessing. I don't know if that helps but. . .

If I may ask, do you keep a journal?

[Tenshi no Ai]

If I may ask, do you keep a journal?

I used to do every once and a while a journal based on spiritual experiences, but every time I wrote in it I always started off with "it's been a while since my last entry" and I could write and write and keep on writing but I eventually forgot about it. Especially since it's paper my hands get so sore after writing so much (heck, I already callused my thumb many years back^^)

About the no swearing thing, I do the same. If people ask I just say "I don't have a need to do so" because really, I don't. I don't even do "aw fudge!" because as far as I'm concerned it's kinda lame^^ Don't get mad too often anyways and not up to adding it in my vocabulary as slang adjectives, no real point^^ I used to though, but hate myself from back at that time :/ Brings back bad memories too, I guess.

[Doubleshadow]

I have some advice on this.
Debating: What exactly do you mean? If you think you can argue someone into becoming a Christian, it won't work. Sharing information, discussing topics, talking about your personal experiences (witnessing by definition!), and standing up for what you know to be true, is different from arguing a point that is likely being perceived from a completely different framework of logic and rationality. If you try debating, you only be able to argue to a standstill because the other person is not using an absolute standard for truth, and therefore can't be 'wrong' in their own mind.
I remember reading the Bible and being angry at God for what I read at times and I was a Christian! I misunderstood what I was reading because I misinterpreted the passage or lacked context and historical perspective. If your friends and acquaintances are reading the Bile with out guidance, human or otherwise, it might do you well to discuss it together to make sure it's understood. Ditto for Buddhism, which is way more complicated and complex than what people give it credit for.
Billy Graham estimated it takes 40 people to get a person saved. Don't feel like you have to work on your own. In addition to the Holy Spirit, you have the rest of the body here on Earth to help you, including those of us praying for you. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed.
Praying for you. *hugs*

[Tenshi no Ai]

I have some advice on this.
Debating: What exactly do you mean? If you think you can argue someone into becoming a Christian, it won't work.

well, I was more like arguing ignorantly because I didn't get my side of the story straight. Either way, depends how you debate it can turn into an argument so I just try and suttley share different things.

If your friends and acquaintances are reading the Bile with out guidance, human or otherwise, it might do you well to discuss it together to make sure it's understood.

I don't think I know one person who's read the Bible by themself and that alone and understood different things/became Christian. Everyone seems to see contradictions and say how it's not the original text because of being lost in translation etc etc

Ditto for Buddhism, which is way more complicated and complex than what people give it credit for.

I'm still learning different concepts on it as a comparing/contrasting. Interesting how the concept of enlightenment/Nirvana is quite similar to our idea of heaven: the gain a clarity of understanding about well, things in general (for us it would be an understanding of who God is etc), and after that is able to achieve a high place of happiness (heaven for us). Although while we have hell, they have the idea of the circle of life and death and with the idea of reincarnation over and over and over again, would probably be like a hell^^ Well, I'm sure it can be looked at in a more positive light but I personally wouldn't want to be reborn more than once.

I guess it's just interesting that they have these ideas but refute ours. Maybe because we get help through our version of 'enlightenment' through salvation? Well, they do look on to Buddha's teachings but it seems a little more of a "do it yourself" type thing. Just from general observation it seems that way.

Billy Graham estimated it takes 40 people to get a person saved. Don't feel like you have to work on your own. In addition to the Holy Spirit, you have the rest of the body here on Earth to help you, including those of us praying for you. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed.

Before getting a person saved and all that, it's just a general understanding of things, and well, I guess being enlightened by God sort of thing^^ Some people actually look quite negatively like how our goal is to "save" people, but what's quantity when it comes to quality? A great understanding beats 10 people "saved" but really don't know what the heck is going on and slip out fast (seen it many times before).

Oh, and also I guess even though it seems like your the only Christian that knows a person and is praying for them, those praying for you too can count^^ Indirectly praying for them, I guess. Still I won't stop no matter HOW impossible is seems!!

...my ramble is complete...

[Syreth]

I don't think I know one person who's read the Bible by themself and that alone and understood different things/became Christian. Everyone seems to see contradictions and say how it's not the original text because of being lost in translation etc etc

One of my good friends in Bible College, who has a similar background to myself, came to Christ in this way.

There are actually no true contradictions in the Bible. Each specific instance that comes up can usually be explained fairly easily if given enough thought or research. The problem is that people want there to be contradictions in the Bible because they don't agree with what it says in the first place, so they jump on any subtle inclination.

Don't worry about being good with words. Although that has some merit, living your life the way God wants you to can have a powerful affect on those around you. Winning an argument is very insignificant, because nobody can argue someone into heaven, as a few people have alluded to. It's the individual's own choice. God respects their choice, and we should too. However, we should do all that we can to facilitate the right choice. Don't be discouraged. It doesn't sound like you're ready to give up -- just make sure that you're living as a good example. Making the wrong choices can be like giving up.

[itch]

oops. how do I get rid of this?

[itch]

I used to do every once and a while a journal based on spiritual experiences, but every time I wrote in it I always started off with "it's been a while since my last entry" and I could write and write and keep on writing but I eventually forgot about it. Especially since it's paper my hands get so sore after writing so much (heck, I already callused my thumb many years back^^)

About the no swearing thing, I do the same. If people ask I just say "I don't have a need to do so" because really, I don't. I don't even do "aw fudge!" because as far as I'm concerned it's kinda lame^^ Don't get mad too often anyways and not up to adding it in my vocabulary as slang adjectives, no real point^^ I used to though, but hate myself from back at that time :/ Brings back bad memories too, I guess.

Weird. . . I feel the same way. Bad memories indeed. That was around my rebellious stage in life and I try very hard to not do the same things I did during those times.

[Tsuki]

Ok. I went though a similar situation not too long ago. I finally found out that many of my friends didn't even hear the basic John 3:16 before in their lives. I knew my friends for about 6 years now and I only find this out recently. I found this out by reading the Bible in front of my friends. Like you I'm not the kind of person who can easily convince someone that sin is indeed bad. I even have trouble explaining that stealing is sinful. I know that sounds bizarre but I'm not good at explaining sin...that is until I start using the Bible as an example to why I act the way I do and say the things I say. Otherwise I just keep quite if I have nothing prepared to say. (If I have nothing to say...I have nothing to say. God didn't give me the gift of words) Also I see a great gift God has given you. You can explain your feelings perfectly, as far as I can tell. I say you should use that! And use that for God. You know as well as I know that people need to be given an explanation for your actions and what you say is true. Like you say swearing is lame and useless, now all you need to do is give the credibility to God to have you think that. In other words connect everything good thing you do to God. That way they know what Jesus says. I explained to one of my friends that what it means to believe in God is to also believe what he says. The thing is, she has no idea what he says, therefore we need to act out God's word. You could be doing good work all this time, but it will mean nothing if your friends don't know where it's coming from. I suggest this: Start by reading the Bible to yourself, but in front of your friends. I'm praying for you. And I'll keep you in my prayers because I need help with the same thing.

[Tenshi no Ai]

You know as well as I know that people need to be given an explanation for your actions and what you say is true.

Like you say swearing is lame and useless, now all you need to do is give the credibility to God to have you think that. [/QUOTE]

Well, I always try and explain my best, although even in doing that I'm not the best. Especially when others bring up a different perspective I'm usually the one the ends up going "oh... good point". Not that I'm weak faithed but I can just be... weak minded, shall I say? hard to make valid points and so forth.

I may not swear but I still do struggle with different things, as a sort of human rebelliousness and/or justifying things for oneself... Temptation can be a very very tough thing. But, although I'm bad myself I don't want to make it seem to others that I'm any less a person. One thing I learned my lesson on was to stop looking down upon others who mess up, because I know I do often. But, although I'm admittedly bad with some things, I don't want that to ruin my chances of "oh well, she's not a good enough Christian!" or even have Christians themselves look down upon me, which was the type of person I once was... Not good^^

[Tsuki]

I may not swear but I still do struggle with different things, as a sort of human rebelliousness and/or justifying things for oneself... Temptation can be a very very tough thing. But, although I'm bad myself I don't want to make it seem to others that I'm any less a person. One thing I learned my lesson on was to stop looking down upon others who mess up, because I know I do often. But, although I'm admittedly bad with some things, I don't want that to ruin my chances of "oh well, she's not a good enough Christian!" or even have Christians themselves look down upon me, which was the type of person I once was... Not good^^

I think it's just fine when you mess up. It shows that you constantly need the Lord, just let other know that. Christians aren't perfect, but God is. It's a more inviting idea of being a Christian then it is to be expected to be perfect. And don't let Christians judge you that way. Here's a verse for that: Romans 14:4 "Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand." There are other good verses around that one on the same topic.(judging) Still praying^^