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I don't know what to do!

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:05 pm
by All 4 Him
Okay, I finally had the last straw with my stepbrother today.

So, for a little background:
He's VERY egotistical, thinks it's funny to randomly put people down and lift himself up, CLAIMS he's a Christian and doesn't live it (common, I know), treats his wife the same way he treats his dog (like dirt), and LIVES IN MY FAMILY'S HOUSE!

He's been fired TWICE from two different jobs in the last month or so, and his wife just came home from visiting her family, so now he plans to "get her back" for talking to someone in Idaho, someone he supposes she "lied to him" about.

So, today, my dad and two older sisters went to another town 40 miles away to do some errands, my mom went to work, and my older brother went to work, leaving me and my little sister with my stepbrother and his wife.

Things were going well until he decided to go to the church to help build something or other, and he demanded his wife come with him. So, he asked my little sister, who was downstairs, "Do you want to come help me?" and, of course, she was busy doing something at the time, and said no, so he started guilt tripping her on how she would never do something productive in her life if she just sat on the computer all day. Then, he came up to me, and here's how our conversation went:


Him: You wanna come help me at the church?
Me: No.
Him: I'm gonna be putting (blah dee blah) on blah dee blah
Me: Okay....
Him: So, you don't want to do anything productive?
Me: Not really. (not with you, at least)
Him: Think about if you spent your entire summer, the way you
have thus far, how would you feel at the end of it?
Me: Uh...I don't know.
Him: You don't know? Well I have a pretty good idea.
Me: Okay. But I'm still not going.
Him: Still not interested, huh?
Me: Nope.
Him: Don't want to do anything productive?
Me: Nope.
Him: [sigh] Okay...you don't have to love God if you don't want to.
Me: Don't even get started on that. (my little sister used to do that all the time. My 11-YEAR OLD SISTER!)
Him: Oh, okay. [silence, looks at a picture to change the subject (probably so he doesn't look like a bully] you should wear a suit like that.
Becky: ... (okay, that was random...)
David: [stands there for a second, and leaves]

HOW IS SOMEONE THAT INSENSITIVE?? I called my mom when he and his wife left, and asked her what Jesus would have done in that situation. She said that He'd tell them that they could take their paths, and I can take mine, but you're not the authority in this house and you have no right to get in our faces and tell us what to do.

I really don't know if she's right or not. I don't really know if I posted this in the right place, but I think it really is a prayer concern. I'm happy, in a way, that God trusts me enough to test me like this, but it's so hard!! I really don't know what to do...so if you could pray for guidance for me, I'd really really appreciate it, thank you. Or if you could tell me what you think I should do, I'd love that too. Thanks so much!

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:50 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
Dang, that sounds pretty... rough >_>

Not to say your situation isn't a problem, but I will say I feel bad about his wife the most. Either way, in my prayers.

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:03 pm
by rsnumber2
I will pray for the situation.

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:56 pm
by All 4 Him
Mr. SmartyPants wrote:Dang, that sounds pretty... rough >_>

Not to say your situation isn't a problem, but I will say I feel bad about his wife the most. Either way, in my prayers.



I know, I do too, but not as much because she acts the same exact way as he does. Like, EXACTLY the same way.

But, thank you for your prayers :)

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:57 pm
by All 4 Him
rsnumber2 wrote:I will pray for the situation.


Thank you. ^^

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 8:10 pm
by Hotarubi
All 4 Him wrote:Him: [sigh] Okay...you don't have to love God if you don't want to.


What would Jesus do?
Well, I can tell you one thing, he would NEVER manipulate you.
The Lord is a gentleman.
He will ask, and if something is important he will try to convince you, but he will never manipulate.
Manipulation is one of Satan's tactics.

All 4 Him wrote:I called my mom when he and his wife left, and asked her what Jesus would have done in that situation. She said that He'd tell them that they could take their paths, and I can take mine, but you're not the authority in this house and you have no right to get in our faces and tell us what to do.


You have a good mom. :)

Your stepbrother is not acting in a Christlike way, he is using religion to get what he wants.
People like him turn the world away from Christianity, because they figure that if that's what it's about they want no part of it.
You are justified in how you feel, and for some reason, there seems to be comfort in knowing that. ^^

The first thing you need to do is forgive him.
Do it for yourself, because harboring bitterness towards someone is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die, lol.
Once you have forgiven him, just tolerate his presence as best as you can, and don't let him get under your skin.

Remember, God loves you more than you can imagine, and nothing in this world can take His love away from you.
He knows your every thought, and He knows what's in your heart.
Of everyone in the entire world, he understands.
Why? He was there, He saw and heard everything. :)

There will always be difficult people you happen to encounter in life.
Think of your stepbrother as an opportunity to learn how to deal with those kind of people, it's a skill that will serve you for the rest of your life.

Hang on and be strong.

I'll be praying for you.

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 12:53 am
by Tenshi no Ai
Hotarubi wrote:What would Jesus do?
Well, I can tell you one thing, he would NEVER manipulate you.
The Lord is a gentleman.
He will ask, and if something is important he will try to convince you, but he will never manipulate.


*nod nod* I hate that whole "you must not be a good Christian/love God unless you do this or that" guilt tripping :/ Oy sounds frustrating to deal with... praying...

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 6:31 am
by Danderson
All 4 Him wrote:if you could tell me what you think I should do, I'd love that too. Thanks so much!

Well, I think others have said this already but I'd say there's only two things that you really can do (that would produce a positive outcome anyways):

1. Treat your step-bro like Jesus would. That doesn't mean being overly nice all the time, but it definetly means loving him even if he doesn't deserve it.
2. Be contiuely praying for him that God might get his attention in some way. Also, pray for constant patience and guidance, so that you might be a shinning light in your step-bros life.

I'll also be praying for your guidance...

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 11:53 am
by All 4 Him
Hotarubi wrote:What would Jesus do?
Well, I can tell you one thing, he would NEVER manipulate you.
The Lord is a gentleman.
He will ask, and if something is important he will try to convince you, but he will never manipulate.
Manipulation is one of Satan's tactics.



You have a good mom. :)

Your stepbrother is not acting in a Christlike way, he is using religion to get what he wants.
People like him turn the world away from Christianity, because they figure that if that's what it's about they want no part of it.
You are justified in how you feel, and for some reason, there seems to be comfort in knowing that. ^^

The first thing you need to do is forgive him.
Do it for yourself, because harboring bitterness towards someone is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die, lol.
Once you have forgiven him, just tolerate his presence as best as you can, and don't let him get under your skin.

Remember, God loves you more than you can imagine, and nothing in this world can take His love away from you.
He knows your every thought, and He knows what's in your heart.
Of everyone in the entire world, he understands.
Why? He was there, He saw and heard everything. :)

There will always be difficult people you happen to encounter in life.
Think of your stepbrother as an opportunity to learn how to deal with those kind of people, it's a skill that will serve you for the rest of your life.

Hang on and be strong.

I'll be praying for you.



Thank you, SO much, I completely agree! I've told myself a billion times, "Just keep loving him, just keep loving him..." and a part of me keeps wanting me to be mad at him...so I just give that little part up to Jesus? Just get rid of it forever?

Thank you so much for your prayers :) and your advice! It's SO greatly appreciated!

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 11:55 am
by All 4 Him
Tenshi no Ai wrote:*nod nod* I hate that whole "you must not be a good Christian/love God unless you do this or that" guilt tripping :/ Oy sounds frustrating to deal with... praying...



Thank you for your prayers ^^ I can't believe he did that, though, because that's what my little sister did when she was 11! It's like his maturity in Christ is WAAAY down there, like at infant level. And my family's trying to help him, but his ego always gets in the way of his accepting our help!

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 11:56 am
by All 4 Him
Danderson wrote:Well, I think others have said this already but I'd say there's only two things that you really can do (that would produce a positive outcome anyways):

1. Treat your step-bro like Jesus would. That doesn't mean being overly nice all the time, but it definetly means loving him even if he doesn't deserve it.
2. Be contiuely praying for him that God might get his attention in some way. Also, pray for constant patience and guidance, so that you might be a shinning light in your step-bros life.

I'll also be praying for your guidance...



Yes, I agree! Thank you so much! But sometimes I'm really unsure how Jesus would act - what do I do then? Do I just do what my heart tells me Jesus might do in that situation?

Thank you for your prayers. :)

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 4:42 pm
by Hotarubi
All 4 Him wrote:...a part of me keeps wanting me to be mad at him...so I just give that little part up to Jesus? Just get rid of it forever?


Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. "It is written," he said to them, "My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers." Matt 20:12-13

When I read this I get the distinct feeling that Jesus was angry.
But, he was quite justified over it.

Anger is an emotion that you are going to feel, it's part of being alive.
Turning your anger over to the Lord is a good idea.
However, don't feel guilty over getting angry, it's natural and it's part of how we were created. :)

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 8:04 pm
by Danderson
All 4 Him wrote:Yes, I agree! Thank you so much! But sometimes I'm really unsure how Jesus would act - what do I do then? Do I just do what my heart tells me Jesus might do in that situation?

It helps to read the books of the Bible that document His life and then evaluate what he did in certain situations, so that when you run into those situations you'll know what to do.

After awhile this type of thinking will hopefully become second nature.... :rock: .

Still praying for u..... :thumb:

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 9:18 pm
by All 4 Him
Hotarubi wrote:Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. "It is written," he said to them, "My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers." Matt 20:12-13

When I read this I get the distinct feeling that Jesus was angry.
But, he was quite justified over it.

Anger is an emotion that you are going to feel, it's part of being alive.
Turning your anger over to the Lord is a good idea.
However, don't feel guilty over getting angry, it's natural and it's part of how we were created. :)


Okay...thanks so much for your help! You have helped me so much in these past couple days, thank you so much!

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 9:20 pm
by All 4 Him
Danderson wrote:It helps to read the books of the Bible that document His life and then evaluate what he did in certain situations, so that when you run into those situations you'll know what to do.

After awhile this type of thinking will hopefully become second nature.... :rock: .

Still praying for u..... :thumb:


Okay, I'll do that :)

Thank you so much for your help! You, too, have really, really helped me, and I appreciate it so much! Thank you! I really don't know what I would have done without talking to you guys...I'm scared I would have done what I "thought" Jesus would have done and ended up making things worse >.<

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2007 3:36 am
by Hotarubi
All 4 Him wrote:Okay...thanks so much for your help! You have helped me so much in these past couple days, thank you so much!


It's my pleasure and if you ever need anything feel free to PM me.
:dance: