very stressed...
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 11:17 pm
Well, I told you guys about my struggles in my linear algebra class... I was thinking about dropping the class, but my parents told me very strongly that I'm not allowed to drop or skip any classes, no matter what, after I told them my plans. Ok, fine.
So the midterm was coming up. I spent the three days before it doing two things; working 8 hour shifts (I had asked for those days off to do studying, but that request was denied) and studying any moment that I wasn't at work or sleeping. I worked my *** off trying to get this material down, and felt somewhat confident when the test came around. I did my best, felt good about the answers, and signed my name to the test saying that I hadn't given anything BUT my best in doing it.
For sure, I figured, I would pass that. I felt that I understood 5 of the 6 questions well enough to get at least a C on it.
And then the next class period came, and I got a look into her grading routines... a horrible, horrible look into how that works. She grades using an All-or-nothing scale; either you get each step in the problem right or you get the whole thing wrong.
And thus, after the curve (which "boosted" most of the class into the D+ range), I scored a whopping 19%. That's right, 19%
I am not used to this. Since the day I started Kindergarten, I had never gotten below a C on any test in any subject. I have never failed a thing. And then, all of a sudden... BOOM like that, the biggest F in the class... literally. She wrote all of our scores on the board, and mine shown out as the most extreme out-lier on the curve. As if that wasn't embarassing enough, she lectured us on how it looks like we aren't applying ourselves enough to the material...
Well, beat me with a cinderblock and call me Abraham Lincoln, I guess that putting all of my effort into that crap wasn't enough.
Seriously, I can't see any way to turn this situation around now. 19% on the midterm... That says something special. This is a math class; it says that I've failed to learn enough of the concepts to progress in my major.
I really don't know how to bring this up to my parents, or to my boss.
Oh yeah, did I mention? More people at my workplace quit, and I again am expected to pick up that slack. That's right; they want me to go from full-time to over-time!
By everything I stand for and believe in... As God is my witness, I've given everything I've got into all this crap in my life, and I'm drowning in it all. Everyone else above me has put expectations into what I need to do. I've tried to satisfy everyone, and now it feels like I can't satisfy anyone, because I am literally burnt out. My physical health has started to decline due to all of this stress... I don't know if I told anyone here, but I suffer from a hereditary disease of the stomach that gives me terrible acid reflux and (as a biproduct) gives me asthma attacks... Two primary things set all of that off: marinara sauce and stress... And I haven't been eating a lot of pizza lately so it's kinda hard to rule out the other. Also I have to deal with headaches, sore joints (mostly in my feet; we only get to sit for 30 minutes every 8 hours we work at Quiznos. That, and I blew my ankle out)
i dunno if I'm asking for prayer or if I'm asking for advice... Like seriously, I'm blind at this point... Screwed if I take path A, screwed if I take path B, etc... I don't wanna be in this situation any more, and I'm not sure which path would be the least painful to take out...
So the midterm was coming up. I spent the three days before it doing two things; working 8 hour shifts (I had asked for those days off to do studying, but that request was denied) and studying any moment that I wasn't at work or sleeping. I worked my *** off trying to get this material down, and felt somewhat confident when the test came around. I did my best, felt good about the answers, and signed my name to the test saying that I hadn't given anything BUT my best in doing it.
For sure, I figured, I would pass that. I felt that I understood 5 of the 6 questions well enough to get at least a C on it.
And then the next class period came, and I got a look into her grading routines... a horrible, horrible look into how that works. She grades using an All-or-nothing scale; either you get each step in the problem right or you get the whole thing wrong.
And thus, after the curve (which "boosted" most of the class into the D+ range), I scored a whopping 19%. That's right, 19%
I am not used to this. Since the day I started Kindergarten, I had never gotten below a C on any test in any subject. I have never failed a thing. And then, all of a sudden... BOOM like that, the biggest F in the class... literally. She wrote all of our scores on the board, and mine shown out as the most extreme out-lier on the curve. As if that wasn't embarassing enough, she lectured us on how it looks like we aren't applying ourselves enough to the material...
Well, beat me with a cinderblock and call me Abraham Lincoln, I guess that putting all of my effort into that crap wasn't enough.
Seriously, I can't see any way to turn this situation around now. 19% on the midterm... That says something special. This is a math class; it says that I've failed to learn enough of the concepts to progress in my major.
I really don't know how to bring this up to my parents, or to my boss.
Oh yeah, did I mention? More people at my workplace quit, and I again am expected to pick up that slack. That's right; they want me to go from full-time to over-time!
By everything I stand for and believe in... As God is my witness, I've given everything I've got into all this crap in my life, and I'm drowning in it all. Everyone else above me has put expectations into what I need to do. I've tried to satisfy everyone, and now it feels like I can't satisfy anyone, because I am literally burnt out. My physical health has started to decline due to all of this stress... I don't know if I told anyone here, but I suffer from a hereditary disease of the stomach that gives me terrible acid reflux and (as a biproduct) gives me asthma attacks... Two primary things set all of that off: marinara sauce and stress... And I haven't been eating a lot of pizza lately so it's kinda hard to rule out the other. Also I have to deal with headaches, sore joints (mostly in my feet; we only get to sit for 30 minutes every 8 hours we work at Quiznos. That, and I blew my ankle out)
i dunno if I'm asking for prayer or if I'm asking for advice... Like seriously, I'm blind at this point... Screwed if I take path A, screwed if I take path B, etc... I don't wanna be in this situation any more, and I'm not sure which path would be the least painful to take out...