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How to council a friend a mine who is cutting?
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:58 pm
by The Last Bard
I have this friend at school, and just recently she confided in me about her cutting problem. And I feel she's looking to me for some kind of answer. Anything.
She's really a sweetheart and I feel so bad for her, so please, pray for her!
And tell me if there is ANYTHING I can do to encourage her. An I'll let you know if I've tried it or not.
Like how do you stop cutting? Do any kind of distractions help or anything? idk
I really want to know what you guys have to say!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 2:15 pm
by Casull
My friend started cutting because she had too much emotional pain.
after whatever harsh stage she went through she found it is also a new addiction.
she started thinking that was the way out- though later learned to go through pain leaning on God- she is no longer cutting herself.
I will be praying.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 2:58 pm
by EireWolf
Wow... that is tough. I had a couple of friends in college who dealt with this issue.
The best thing you can do for her is pray for her, and let her know that you are there to talk to anytime. One thing I told my friend is, The next time you're thinking about cutting, call me and talk to me instead... even if it's 3 a.m.
This is a really scary problem, because cutters can sometimes bleed out by accident. Even if they're not trying for suicide, they can cut a major artery and then not be able to stop the bleeding.
Here is some info for you, from the perspective of a cutter:
http://www.vinland.org/scamp/institute/friends.html
Here are some other links for you (and for her):
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Cutting-Yourself
http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/cutting.html
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html
http://www.coolnurse.com/self-injury.htm
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 3:53 pm
by Tenshi no Ai
I'll be praying... But is she Christian? If not, maybe if you simply share the amazing news from the Bible to give her hope? And even if she is, reassurance fro mthe Bible can be such an amazing thing. As Casull said, to learn to lean on God is SO very important...
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 4:26 pm
by The Last Bard
Yeah, she's a Christian. But last night she mentioned that maybe God was trying to get her attention and that since everything happens for God's purpose, maybe he is using this...
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 4:35 pm
by Casull
The Last Bard wrote:Yeah, she's a Christian. But last night she mentioned that maybe God was trying to get her attention and that since everything happens for God's purpose, maybe he is using this...
Why would God hurt her or let her hurt herself for his will? we are made in God's image! and we are not to damage that-
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:11 pm
by Pinecone Tortoi
I'll be praying.
Piney.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:28 pm
by K. Ayato
Casull's right. If God truly is speaking to your friend, surely He would not be saying cutting herself is the solution to her problems. I'll be praying.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:29 pm
by RedMage
Casull wrote:Why would God hurt her or let her hurt herself for his will?
The same reason he lets any other bad thing happen to us or lets us do bad things to ourselves. All things work together for good for those who believe. His ways aren't the same as ours, but we can be confident in and comforted by the knowledge that His plan is working in everything, even when we can't see how.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:33 pm
by EireWolf
God would not approve of her hurting herself, certainly. But God can use any situation for good. It could be that she will be able to help someone else stop cutting later on.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 6:35 pm
by Tenshi no Ai
But how does she know it was God that was trying to get her attention? If it's something God doesn't approve of, it doesn't come from Him but the enemy... Sometimes, logic can be a VERY good thing to have, especially when discerning whether it's God saying something or not (and yes it can be hard to tell in some cases).
Also as a reminder, everything DOES happen for God's purpose, but a person's free will can make up a huge portion of what can happen. It's the ever-intertwining bond that's beyond our understanding. It's just... amazing that when we do wander down the wrong path from our own free will, God will set us straight if we seek after Him, for His own will^^
Also, to add to what RedMage had said on "Why would God hurt her or let her hurt herself for his will?" sometimes He does try and whisper to us to intervene, but from our own free will we can chose not to listen...
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 6:50 pm
by meboeck
Like Eire said, being available to talk is a big part. I have talked to someone who cuts, and just being there is a very important thing. Also, see if she would be willing to see a counselor. A lot of people are very quick to say they don't want counseling, but it can be so helpful. I went to a Christian counselor for a while and it really helped me turn things around.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:04 pm
by Ryupower
sorry I can't offer much advice, but cutting is oftentimes a result of lack of attention, like, nobody listening to you and loneliness....try to ask her if anything's wrong.
I'll pray. ^^
PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:51 am
by Cognitive Gear
I have a friend who struggles with this. We have found that it helps to
1. Pray.
2. Talk about new/current/past/potential emotional issues. If I know that something is bothering them, I can often help prevent a cutting session.
3. This may seems strange and a bit morbid, but a good first step is often to restrict it to one body part. It's a small thing that can help those that are addicted. It helps by creating a space that can only be cut so often. at the least it can potentially put some space between cutting sessions. It also allows those who are keeping them in check to know when the struggling person has cut.
These things have helped my friend with their problem. Hopefully it may help yours! ^_^
PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 5:19 pm
by fantasygeek
I have a friend who was cutting, just a few weeks ago. He has stopped now and I know that it was the Lord that helped him through it.
My advice to you is just to a sure her that you are her friend and you will always be their for her. Also praying is the best thing that you can possibly do. If the situation allows, I would tell her that your praying for her.
I will definitly be praying for you both.