CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I'm so fricken frustrated at myself right now... not with what I did but just how I am not just there but all the time and it is seriously getting me extreamly angry with myself and everyone else around. I just wanna yell a nice f-u at the top of my lungs to everyone I meet then punch em... I'm not a violent person and I don't swear really but thats just how I feel inside atm...

I just HATE myself right now... I'm so fricken fed up with everything... basically, today I went in today to take my second behind the wheel drivers test. The first time I was pretty nervous taking it but I didn't do too bad... I only missed "passing" by 3 points and most of those could have been avoided if I was driving an automatic. So I got better with the stick and I'm really good with it now, I'm comfortable with it. However, I go to take this second test and I just get extreamly nervous again, even though I shouldn't be... for some reason I was more nervous then I was the last time. Maybe cause it was the same instructor person (who was a regular old grumpy piece of work to begin with so that didn't help losening me up)? Idunno... So I COMPLETELY screwed up this time not even being able to finish cause I had backed onto the curb which automatically disqualifies you... She told me to go practice... ALOT. And yes I admit I was horrible this round and I would be fine with that if I actually sucked at drving but the problem was not the driving it was just me being so stupidly nervous. My leg was shaking so much I could barely push the dumb peddal...

.. and EVERYTHING is like that... a couple weeks ago I was at the doctors and I didn't find myself particularly nervous at the time and he was all "wow, you sure are a nervous one aren't ya"...

I TRY to just unwind and relax, I TRY not to worry, I TRY to just let it go and I never can!! And there are so many times this has stopped me from doing stuff cause either 1) I'm just so wound up I don't put forth the effort no matter how bad I want to do whatever or 2) I do and feel like the biggest idiot on the planet and never wanna place my self in that situation ever again... even thoug I KNOW there was nothing wrong and I'm probably the only one who even noticed... or I just completely embarass myself like today cause that was some aweful driving, she was right not to pass that crap... but I never wanna see her face again as long as I live.

I'm just so **** with all the little stupid things like this that get in the way of even something as simple as getting a stupid drivers licence. AND I CANT CONTROL IT. And yes I know it sounds stupid and lame but its true and I've delt with this my entire life and I am sick of it... and yes I've prayed about it a gagillion times... I'd say God is plugging his ears but I know its not true.. but anyway, could you please pray for me. I hate asking for prayers requests but please?

I just feel one of these days I'm just gonna snap and do something really stupid...

In my prayer.

hmmm.... i kind of understand. im always nervous with stuff too! like today i met this woman who wants me to meet her kids because i might baby-sit for her. i was like OH NO! i took two hours getting ready because i was so afraid of what she would think of me! and i was so nervous because i hate meeting new people! i said hi... and talked to her little boys and it went fine... but i wish i wouldnt stress all the time before things...
and sometimes my hands shake. like i was in band and i didnt even have a solo ... but i started spazzing out because i knew i didnt practice this one song... though it wasnt that hard and i couldnt breathe well and my hands were shaking and i felt like i was going to cry and i couldnt barely get a sound out and that only made it worse because then my band director kept staring at me and looking at me like "your not playing it right" i turned soooooo red.
and sometimes i dont even wanna go places because i just get so nervous... once i cried so bad because i didnt want to go on a day trip with my family.
i was just so nervous and scared... though for no reason.

its not really the same thing... but i can understand alittle about your nervousness.
so i'll def. pray for you!
always pray about your nevousness! pray about everything! god cares even about the simplest things...
i once prayed to god because i couldnt get my jacket zipped. hah! but he cares and he will help you!
and just calm down. dont get all **** at yourself... it helps me if i pause and take a few breaths. it doesnt take it away but it helps calm me down sometimes...
i'll be praying.

Well, we ALL mess up with one thing or another, due to either nervousness or anything else, it happens to the best of us too :/ I'll be praying...

I don't get too nervous about much anymore. Of course, in high school I messed up a band solo in front of, like, 15000 people. So pretty much there's nowhere to go for me but up, esteem-wise.

Seriously, for both you and FP90, if anxiety is getting so bad it is getting between you and life, it's time to think about some professional help (that is, counselling).

Praying for you both.

Well, think about it. Why worry?
No seriously, why worry?
So you screw something up....oh well. You get another chance anyways so it doesn't matter. Most of the time you do, atleast at a drivers test. God's there to help you, and just pray that you won't screw up again and forget it.
What could happen? If God's with you nothing is impossible. ^^
I did some really weird and embaressing stuff before....oh well.
Maybe you have a self esteem issue ( happens sometimes ), when you have self-esteem issues you're deffinately not happy with the world and I should know. ^^
Just make the best out of who you are and what you are. And if something embaressing or stupid happens to you...laugh it off.

I once went on a sparring tournament, I drank caffeine so I could be a little hyper during it...it was my seconed tournament. And yeah, I was mean as it seemed. there was only one problem: thanks to the caffeine I had to go somewhere, DURING the fight. My trainer was all proud of me and all, saying I did a great,awesome job. So after I won the fight, I told my trainer: " I need to go to the restroom. He broke off and said " I know, I saw that...." and you can bet on that my opponent noticed that too ( that's prob why I won )

So yeah embarrassing stuff happens, but at the end it's funny. Look at the bright side...you learned something, and if you find out the root of your problems you can just get rid of them.

And also, let me ask you something: who CARES what people think about you?" The Bible says that " God is my helper, I shall not fear, what can man do to me? " along with that you're not supposed to be tommorrow because it hasn't come yet. - one of my fav. verses.
Now about the anger thing...
Take a look at Galatians 5:19-22
and pray that God'll show you something.
I'm praying for you two. ^^