CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I usually don't put up prayer threads because God usually helps me out of stuff quick...and I don't want to desturb other prayer requests. sorry if this is long folks, bear with me:

But anyways, there's this...guy.
Yes, a guy. I love him.

we've been together for three-quarters of a year ( as online ) and he was always really loving and compassionate. Until the beginning of summer where I actually for the first time got to see him . We were both very excited, and it was God that my parents even know I had a...internet relationship. And wanted to visit him ( which my parents happily suported )

It was one of the happiest moments of our lives to see each other, even if only for 3 hours. But duty called and I had to go to mallorca. There, I didn't have much connection to him because telephone bills are high there and you have to go to the internet café in order to get online ( they make big money I tell you...-_- ).
When I was there, of course my relationship with God strengthened, because I was alone alot, but my relationship with Michael ( that's hes name ) weakened, due to lack of communication.
I had to pay money, and when I could communicate with him he took it for granted. He even let me wait a few times because a friend of his walked by his house and he wanted to say "hi" ( for an half an hour ). And once rather played that MMORPG " Maplestory" than to talk with me. This caused me lots of hurt that he took for granted all the stuff I did in order to talk with him a little.
He later found out how much sacrifice that actually was and was shocked. But because I didn't pay attention to that, - I made it worse. In the end I wanted to break up with him. Which was a mistake. I thought God told me too, but now I'm not entirely sure about it ( I also thought He told me that I was going to visit him this past weekend...which I couldn't because his parents were leaving...) .
Then again, he did give up that summer in his homeland in order to raise money to visit me in Florida some time. This was a big sacrifice for him, he could have seen his old friends... but he didn't, for me. Then again, he never got to it because I was so stupid as to try to break up with him...

So then of course I also came crawling back to him asking if he'll take me back, he said he 'wasn't sure' -- not because of me but because he didn't want to continue hurting me anymore. " time would tell"

So there it started that I got all confused as to whether or not he was my " BF " or my " Ex ". I didn't see him often since then because his mom's on the computer alot to play games and because of his friends, connection, etc...
so yadda, yadda, yadda...
So I didn't know if I was officially broken up or not. This makes someone go MAD! TRUST ME!! I had no issues with him being alone, because being alone for a time helps strengthen the relationship with God. And that short time did.
But that "maybe" that " I don't know" just was... causing too much confusion.
then I one time saw him online and I was happy, HOWEVER, only for an hour
(after waiting a week ) because of an 'appointment' he had on Maplestory. This again hurt a little because I saw how loyal he was to anyone but me ( OK, that was selfish, but I already repented of that. sorry.... )

that whole week I was there on OUR appointrd time ( 10 PM ) and I waited often till 2:00 AM with no reply.
Then one time I saw him. Oh the joy. He was a half an hour late because he wanted to finish looking at some documentery of a sunken ship ( would have been nice if he left me a message and warned me ). That hurt, plus he also said " oh yeah, and BTW: my schedule. Starting at 12:00 AM - gaming. XD".
These two things together made me blow the coupe!! It was to me as if my time would be of no value to him, and that he didn't miss me and thought of more important things than time with me ( RPG's and documenteries...>_> )

He had appointed time for these, but the appointed times for chatting with me were ignored!
Then to top it off the next day I waited till 11:45 PM for him to come! Only to hear afterwards: Meh...not in the mood for chatting
me: anything wrong? need prayer for anything?
him: no... thanks.
me: then why do you not want to talk to me? ( I also said " spend time with me" but that seemed to be ignored. )
him: I'm really not in the mood to chat today....
me: So there is something wrong with you!
him: -_- no. I'm fine.
me: please. It's not for nothing that I always wait this long for you...

by the next disconnect he was gone.

He did this TWICE in a row to me, last Thursday and Friday.
This made me feel even more depressed than I already was. I felt like he wouldn't care for me anymore, maybe even hate me...

This was supposed to be the weekend I visit him or him me according to what I thought was God. His parents left so now he's staying most of the time by his ( gentile, because there aren't many Christians in Germany ) friends.
( If I never dared to split up with him he probably would have visited me instead..he waited for it 2 years... but the conditions were just stupid )
This closeness going strictly against what the Bible says to " not be unequally yoked with unbelievers ". Plus, he never goes to Church, because he doesn't like that Lutheran ( State ) Church next to his house. And the Church he liked is way to far away from him. Don't get me wrong, he loves God, just doesn't go to Church.



So yeah, I won't be seeing him much for the next two weeks ( if at all ). And I'm not sure what God wants to do ( something's in his plan though ). I don't know how to tell him all this because it's a bit complex to explain as you can see. And I don't know if he still loves me, if he cares for me, hates me, whatever... or if it's all just a big misunderstanding and he himself doesn't know what to do!!

So there it was.

It just hurts to see a person writing me such a lovely poem for valentine's day ( I can paste the translation some time if you want ), that makes one think we will never be appart . And then, in the last few weeks, *seem* to not give a crud about me ( note:*seem* my judgement could be wrong. Then again, I'm not supposed to judge in the first place, so there. ). I've been in depression, but God helped me alot, and remain neutral now to whether I'm gonna split up, or stay together ( hey! We can always be friends! ^^. - eventhough I don't know if he still is a friend.Once again, I don't know ), so that I'd suffer less.


Please people, pray for this!
May God's will be done!
Please pray for clearity and that all will be on perfect timing where he...doesn't run away. May it be God's timing!
Also, the other things like his being " unequally yoked" and if there is anything, including idolatry, that it may be revealed to him.

But most of all: clearity! relationship with God!
pray that he'll understand me if he doesn't! My depression!
Also that I may get closer to God and be able to hear His voice more clearly, and, if there is anything about me, that I may change! ( my relationship with God. )

LONG THING SHORT: I need clearity, need help understanding God, and have relationship issues. PLEASE PRAY!!!

So yes, thanks guys in advance. Sorry for making this request so long....I wanted to make it clear since it's all rather complex. Sorry once again for making it so looong...
God bless y'all!
-Claudia

Oh, well you will be in my prayer. I hope this will turn out well, it sounds very painful.

So THAT'S what you wanted prayer on... I see now... and hmmm I wonder what's up with him? Either way, I'll be praying^^

This probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but I wouldn't stick around with this guy. Obviously, you're bending over backwards for him and he doesn't really seem to care too much. Even if he does care, his actions seem to indicate that he doesn't care for you to the same degree that you do. Moreover, I think there are differences between you two that might be hard to reconcile should anything turn out (this is only from what you've said of him). I'll certainly pray that God's will be done. This doesn't sound easy, but hang in there and trust Him cause He'll work it out.

Thank you guys....( You actually read all that? O.O;;;; WOW! God bless y'all OoO; )

Yes, may God's will be done.
Syreth, I don't mind hearing that, of course someone would say that. . But it's not me to judge, it could be a misunderstanding...
Like I said, God made me almost oblivious to the pain of waiting for the answer ,for now, because it would make me suffer too much
waiting till the time is ripe for the answer. A few more days...Praise Him! ^^
Now about the caring thing...he used to be caring, he even wrote me two love poems. ( even back in our heathen days he had a crush on me, but I didn't care much about him ) He just hasn't been like that lately...eventhough, he did always have thing with forgetting to tell me times...O_o.
Well, maybe he just doesn't think much...who knows? Nobody knows but God...Thank you brother very much!

anyways, thanks every single one of you for praying! That was very considerate of you! ^^
You don't know how much this means to
me.

Assuming that this guy is about your age...

I can tell you from the male perspective that the fact that he doesn't keep appointments, etc., does NOT mean he doesn't like you. It's how guys are wired. How many anime shows involve the "clueless" guy who constantly frustrates is would-be love interest by ignoring holidays, dates, etc.? This is because we are really like that.

Whether or not this guy is for you, I can't say. But for the sake of YOUR mental health, don't take any of these oversights as a deliberate offense against you. Otherwise, you will take this personally and mess up any communication that might actually be working.

Speaking of communication, remember that with human beings, about 90% of communication is visual. This means when you carry on a relationship via e-mail, text message, etc., you only are getting about 10% of what you would get if you had the same conversation in person. So, when you say you have an appointment, don't assume that is set in stone in the other person's mind, because you can't see their reaction.

You seem to have known this person a long time, perhaps returning to "just friends" mode for a while is a good idea.

Praying for this situation.

thanks guys.
Eventhough I dislike stereotypes, your comment helped alot SP1. Some people can love one even if they don't seem to care...thanks....please continue praying people!
I'm feeling so much better! He left a message saying he loves me, and I will again see him in two days when he returns to his aunt. But my affection for him is going up and down the last days, on some days I wanted to leave him without doubt, but to day I'm desperately in love again...:/

I'll give him another chance...if he ends up proving to really love me and is willing to change his ways, but pshhh...I still haven't told him yet. If he won't change, I'll quit because that'd proove he doesn't love me, -we can still be friends. . But if he does, I will see him again this summer...hopefully. I'm pretty sure God gave me this conclusion...

Thanks ppl! Please continue praying for clearity and his relationship with God as well as my relationship with God ( sometimes I desire "proof" that I really heard Him. Because I'm not completely sure if I understand Him correctly... )

Thank you so much my loving brothers and sisters! May God bless you thotoughly, and everyone else @ CAA.

May God bless you as well sister ^_^

[quote="Ryupower"]thanks guys.
Eventhough I dislike stereotypes, your comment helped alot SP1. Some people can love one even if they don't seem to care...thanks....please continue praying people!
I'm feeling so much better! He left a message saying he loves me, and I will again see him in two days when he returns to his aunt. But my affection for him is going up and down the last days, on some days I wanted to leave him without doubt, but to day I'm desperately in love again...:/

I'll give him another chance...if he ends up proving to really love me and is willing to change his ways, but pshhh...I still haven't told him yet. If he won't change, I'll quit because that'd proove he doesn't love me, -we can still be friends. ]


I don't understand what you mean when you say if he proves he loves you you'll stay with him. I hope you don't mean something like keep an appointment in a game, send you a poem, or an email because that is hardly proof of real love. That's something just completely out of that realm. I don't even know if I can go into that because I probably won't even be satisfied by the answer I could even give because I'm not sure of it either.

I agree with SP1 I think you're really just getting too worked up over every word this guy is typing. The real situation isn't always clear with typed words. I don't want to seem too harsh but I don't think it can be helped. You seem to have known eachother awhile over the internet and while relationships like this can work more often than not I don't believe these things will. You're just missing so many critical elements when it's typed word and occasional phone conversations. Besides you're both young and you have ALOT of time to worry about developing yourself for a relationship according to God's design. But if you really believe it can and have prayed about it then I don't see why like SP1 said you two just can't be friends for now. I'll be praying for the situation.

Lifting you up, my sister.

Wow. I'll pray for you.

I prayed for you.

Have you asked him to explain himself to you? Maybe you can ask again.

My thoughts: He just might not be as clingy as you are, he might just think of it as casual. You said he wrote you a wonderful poem, the distance between you may have hurt the relationship between you and the boy, just to mention that. Though since the alone time strengthened your relationship with God, it was good.

Michael may not have realized that it cost you so much money to get online with him, as I assume also from his shock that you typed about. That was most likely the reason he took it for granted and didn't spend time online with you when he could have.

You say that he loves God? Then how is this a uneaqually yoked relationship? I'm confused. So, if it isn't unequally yoked, which in my confusion, my mind is open to the possibility, then you might try to work at the relationship again.

He seems to be a good boy, because he said he didn't want to hurt you. I may mention, wasn't it also you who broke up with him?


Try asking him questions, just to figure out what's wrong.

I prayed. Anything I would say has already been said.

I'll remember you in my prayers...

I will pray this sort of thing is very painful.

thanks guys, your prayers seem to already have helped. ( so it seems the last two or three days )

Tigerchu, about your question:

Yes, it was me who tried to break up due to depression and hopelessness. There were many things I left out, I had a lot of disappointments that time in mallorca. But God is good. ^^

what do you mean with clingy? - if one's in love they're clingy right? O_o
( by us it *used* to be the other way around, -he was the one getting depressed all the time and usually started the dramas...:/. And he kept on saying that he really needed me. That time is gone though, it seems. :/ )


ANYWAYS, 'bout the unequally joked thing: That wasn't between us. It was about him and his "friends", he has no Christian friends besides me, so all his other friends and buddies are gentile, unsaved. This isn't neccessarilly a terrible thing, it's good that he has friends and pals, some people don't. But the problem lies in the fact that he's TOO close to them, hanging out isn't too bad, - but spending nights, and BARELY talking to them about Jesus while doing it....I don't know about that. Please pray.

the previous prayers have already helped, my depression is over and just letting God do everything while "going with the flow". Thanks ppl.

BTW: YES, I have also thought about asking him a bunch of questions, I only need the right time to do it. Thanks!