CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

My family has never been known for being responcible, punctual, hard-working, or anything related to these words. Our house is never clean and I always have to remind my parents to pick me up from places or to go to places. Not that I am any better. Everything is so messy and chaotic that I feel like I'm being suffecated.

My mom and I are always planning to clean stuff up and find ways to better organize our lives, but it never works. I build up all this hope, all this trust, and I'm crushed everytime.

It's very simular with my relationship with God. I try so hard to give myself up to Him and listen to Him, but I can never seem to do it. I've heard so many sermons about how I'm not going to be saved by just what I do, but I can't even tell when God is talking to me and when he's not. I've tried so many times to accept Him into my life and allow Him to work within me, and I feel like it will finally work for all of about a day until things are back to normal. I'm getting the feeling that I'm going to have to wait until something horrible happens before I am really able to give myself up to Him- just like all those stories where people hit rock bottom before coming to Christ, and I don't want to have to do that. I don't understand how I am supposed to give myself up to God because nothing happens when I try it on my own and nothing happens when I ask Him to do something.

I feel like if I could only hear Him speak to me or show me a sign, things would be a little easier, but I am so slow to act and so slow to put faith into things, I'm not sure how that could ever happen. For the moment, I am deaf to Him.

I've talked to people about this many times, including my mom, a therapist whom I am no longer going to, and countless counslers at church camp, and though I know they try to help me, nothing can seem to wake me up from this fog.

I feel completely burnt out in life, and another school year is starting in just a week. Does anyone have advice for someone with such little hope?

I'll definately be praying for you, and one thing that I can think of now is: don't wait till it's too late, even though I know you said you don't want to hit rock bottom. And don't forget what the definition of "faith" is. Trust in God that He'll be there for you, even when you don't think you can't hear back from him. Here's some verses I used for someone else, so I hope they can help you out some too (There's TONS of verses with the word "trust" in them, so these are only a few I've picked out.)

Psalm 31:14
But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.

Psalm 91:2
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Isaiah 12:2
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."

Isaiah 26:4
Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.

Jeremiah 17:7
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

Nahum 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,

[quote="Tenshi no Ai"]I'll definately be praying for you, and one thing that I can think of now is: don't wait till it's too late, even though I know you said you don't want to hit rock bottom. And don't forget what the definition of "faith" is. Trust in God that He'll be there for you, even when you don't think you can't hear back from him. Here's some verses I used for someone else, so I hope they can help you out some too (There's TONS of verses with the word "trust" in them, so these are only a few I've picked out.)

Psalm 31:14
But I trust in you, O LORD]

Thank you for showing me these. I really do appreciate it. I say them and it brings tears to my eyes and hope to my mind. And yet I am still terrified that it will mean nothing to me tomorrow, as it always has.

Do you... understand what I mean by hopeless now? Even the small amount of faith I am able to muster is completely washed over by pesimissom. I don't know how to stop that.

God is there an He is working, even if you can't feel Him, you are His and He loves you...don't lose hope for when God's time is right he will show Himself gloriously to you, our lives have many seasons, and winter is one of them...know God loves you and is by you...He will never forsake you

Erik the Awful wrote:Do you... understand what I mean by hopeless now? Even the small amount of faith I am able to muster is completely washed over by pesimissom. I don't know how to stop that.

(sigh)

You and I are in the same boat...I have no advice, but I'll be praying for you...

I can't say I relate, but I'll be praying for you.

Erik the Awful wrote:Thank you for showing me these. I really do appreciate it. I say them and it brings tears to my eyes and hope to my mind. And yet I am still terrified that it will mean nothing to me tomorrow, as it always has.

Do you... understand what I mean by hopeless now? Even the small amount of faith I am able to muster is completely washed over by pesimissom. I don't know how to stop that.

Hey, my sista. I've actually dealt with that kind of thing; I still battle it from time to time. It sounds like you know what the truth is, but it's so hard to keep the mindset of it when all these thoughts and feelings that you've failed God or aren't listening to His voice keep pounding your mind.

1 Corinthians 14:33 says God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. 2 Timothy 1:7 says that God has not given us a spirit of fear or timidity, but of power, love, and a sound mind, or self-discipline. These thoughts of confusion that keep pounding your mind are not from God, but from Satan. Jesus called him a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).

Also, God doesn't want us to go through life feeling condemned. Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. And Galatians 5:1 says that Christ has set us free, so we should stand firm in that freedom and not be entangled again with bondage or slavery. I believe this includes the slavery to fear that Satan tries to bring us under.

In the times that Satan tries to start pounding away in your mind with these feelings and thoughts that go against the freedom God wants you to have in your mind, don't even listen to him. I know, from experience, that it's hard to do. But in those times, remember some of the Scriptures that Tenshi no Ai and I posted, and even find some of your own, that speak about the peace we have with God. And really believe them. If you're afraid you'll forget them, you might even want to print them out and carry them with you or keep them in an easy-to-read place.

I can't promise that this will be a fix-all or that Satan won't ever attack you in this area again. As I said before, I still struggle with it at times. But when Satan does try to attack you, resist him, and believe that what God says is true. You may still stumble, but don't be discouraged. Sometimes victories in the "battlefield of the mind" come a little bit at a time. And if you can resist Satan and trust God, even in small steps at a time, you'll be growing spiritually.

I do want to mention a couple more things. If you weren't doing good for God, Satan wouldn't bother with trying to get you distracted. But you are a child of God, and Satan fears you.

Also, Philippians 1:6 says that He who begun a good work in you will complete it!

I know this has been a long post, but I pray that it encourages you. I'll definitely be lifting you up to the Father, and please let us know how it goes.

First of all, I agree with everything that freerock1 said. All the things that are pulling you down are from Satan. He's lying to you, you're believing him, and it's killing you. You're in bondage to his lies, and you don't know how to get out. But, the Bible has the solution for you, in black and white. "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." All that Satan wants to do is immobilize you so you can't do anything for Christ-- he'll do it through your fears and your doubts. It sounds to me like when he attacks you, you don't know how to fight him off. You need something to defend yourself with anytime he attacks you with lies. And the best thing to use when fighting lies is the truth.

So, what I'm wondering is, how often are you in the truth? Or, to put it plainly, how often are you in God's word? See, God's given us the truth about everything, his word, so that we can read it and learn the truth about us. That way, when the devil says, "God can't hear you, He's not even with you!" You can say, "I know that's not true, because God said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" And if he says, "You'll amount to anything," you can say, "I know that's a lie, because God said, 'I know the plans I have for you.'" I've found that knowing the truth is the absolute best way to keep Satan from getting to me when he tries to. But, I can't know the truth if I've never heard it. And you can't either. So my biggest encouragement to you, is get into God's word! Have a personal devotion every day. For some Christians, especially newer ones, having a personal devotion is an intimidating idea because they don't even know where to start, and if you're in that boat, I'd suggest you go to a Christian bookstore near you and look for a devotion book. You can even find one that deals with the issues you struggle with-- I'd suggest that you start with a devotion on the hope we have in Christ. I absolutely believe that it would do you more good than you can even imagine.

Sorry this post is so long. I hope it helps!

And in honour of this new start you could change your username to 'Erik in Awe.'
I'll be praying for you mate!

Warrior 4 Jesus wrote:And in honour of this new start you could change your username to 'Erik in Awe.'
I'll be praying for you mate!

Hee hee, maybe. xD

Actually, this name comes from a funny little song about a viking. It was sort of an on-a-whim username. ^^' But then I suppose that would be more appropriate, wouldn't it?

Thank you so much. I keep saying it, but I really do mean it. It's good to know so many people are praying for me. I have a feeling this year will be different.

Read The Purpose Driven Life. It may help you, I know it helped me tons!
Also try to get into some sort of daily devotional. i agree withy everyone else. If you're falling so easily, perhaps your spiritual life needs a boost. Dive into God's Word and other Christian texts to help you understand Him.
I'll be praying.

Angel37 wrote:Read The Purpose Driven Life. It may help you, I know it helped me tons!
Also try to get into some sort of daily devotional. i agree withy everyone else. If you're falling so easily, perhaps your spiritual life needs a boost. Dive into God's Word and other Christian texts to help you understand Him.
I'll be praying.

Perhaps - just remember though, that Warren's work is more spiritual milk than it is meat ( http://www.tektonics.org/books/warrenr01.html ) and that one will have to go further eventually to grow.

Wow.........You remind me when i was a freshman. I was horrible i had a good family and always went to church it was just that i never really accapted it. But Freshman year changed that I started to go to this Place called ECA Elkhart Christian Acadamy I thought all they would do is drill it in my head to change they do but in a way you couldnt even tell. I met great people that helped me and Now have great friends. Ok sorry for all that but Only one thing helped me Mr Fulton and a girl Named well thats not important. She was protected from everything she was like perfect and the thing that made me change was I liked her and yet knew she was to good for me so i tried harder and harder until she actualy told me she liked me and what was weird was I liked her but I only want to thank her for what she has done she has helped me and doesnt even know. She goes out with my best friend and yet I am happy cause i still like her but she hilped me. Mr Fulton just prayed for me and Prayer is always always help full and you know what even if you dont have faith in God and dont always trust him and dont think he is there all the time well he is and He will Always wait for you and all you have to do is Believe. Dude I am Praying hard for you so God bless and Dont lose your way trust me its hard to get back on the Path again.

I recommend you pray a lot to improve you connection to God. Now you're probably saying "I pray to God for help with this all the time!" Actually, I want you to pray FOR nothing. Take 10 or 15 minutes of time (after reading that devotional is a good time) and enter into prayer as a meditation on God. Be thankful for what you have and the support of those around you. Just be in quiet communion with God and expect that He will reveal Himself in the fullness of time (which might not be right away) and make yourself available to His spirit. Let all concerns that are not from God (and that's most concerns) fall away from you to make more room for God. It may take a while, but I think you will find this a refreshment of faith.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. -2nd corinthians 4:16

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. -romans 12:1



When we read the second verse sometimes we forget everything but not to conform. But this is something I've slowly been learing; that every day Christ desires for us to start anew and press on and press in to Him. That means totaly fresh, totaly renewed, and totaly ready to seek God with everything. We can not dwell in the past because the bad is forgiven totally and without exception and He wants us to live free of that, but the good must be allowed to pass away as well. We can not re-live a day that has passed and we do not need to. God has plans for the road ahead of us that are greater then anything we have seen yet. When I first met God I was given a reason to live which I did not have before. For the first time I know I was given hope. As my journey has continued I have struggled and doubted more than people who haven't experienced half of the amazing blessings I have but I have learned or rather am learning to press on and live in the full freedom of God. I now know an even deeper love and light and hope than I ever could have imagined all deeper within Him, but I do not stop because there is more he is calling me too and I know it is true because He is God. That is an amazing thing to say for someone who not only was a nihilist but a very uncheery one at that lol. Sometimes growth takes some time. If nothing else know I am praying for you.

erik, i sympathize... my house is not a mess, but there are times where there is nothing i can think about nothing but my past sins. i will pray for you.

I'm glad everyone's input and God's word is helping you. There's not really a lot I can add, other than to reaffirm what others have said. I don't always actively feel God's presence, and I still have trouble knowing His will sometimes, but I know He is there. His word tells me so, as do His actions. Sometimes I have to wait for Him, but He comes through. And my faith is rarely (if ever) perfect, but God understands and grows me, grows *us*, according to His timing and what we need. He is working in your life...
as is Satan. Just keep focusing on God. Forget about what Satan tries to tell you, as has already been mentioned Satan attacks those who are on the right track with God. In a weird sort of way, Satan's attacks are evidence of your growing relationship with God. If there was no relationship, no faith, no love there, Satan would have no reason/nothing to attack. So your faith is there, your relationship with God exists. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, all that aside, just remember God loves you no matter what.

I'll pray for you.

I can't completely understand God yet either. I'm still a baby in my faith though...
I know some day I'll understand Him, but right now I'm just sorta...you know, not giving up hope because I know if I spend more time with Him I'll understand Him.
My new lesson I just re-learned a few days ago: IT'S the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Wisdom, the Spirit of Truth, the Counselor, who lives in you and answers You, always remember that HE is in YOU and always listening.
And intimacy is important too to understand God: worship!

Isn't it wonderful, knowing that God is so patiant with us? ^^;
I believe all Christians go through this and He understands, -it's the Heart that counts.
If you're dedicated to God and follow Him with all your heart ( meaning you try to stay away from sin and therefore really try to not sin, and spend time with Him and His word ) , and get Baptized (according to some Scriptures ) ,
you will be saved.

BTW: check out John 6 ,14, and 15. ^^

I will pray sister! HAng in there!