Life in General
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 1:36 am
Okay, so ya'll remember them anger issues I was talkin' about? I figured it all boils down to the fact my dad is drinking and won't let up on the fact that mom's right and he needs to find help.
Last week before I went on my class trip, (which was awesome, btw) dad took mom out on a date so they could patch up some things and hang out and have fun and what-not. So when I left, everything was all coolish. Then I came home yesterday to find that they're not talking to eachother again 'cause he keeps going out at 10 at night and comes home at 4 or 5 in the morning 'cause he's been drinking with some stranger he met at Alberstons...
Okay, I'll simmer down so I don't bore you with the details on how everthing got to this point. I can't even sit in youth room at church if someone is talking about how s/he went through this alcoholic stage when they were so-and-so years-old; I have to get up and leave. Basically, I'm graduating High School in three days, and I'm deathly afraid that their silence, mom's shunning, and dad's addiction is going to lead to him not even coming to my graduation. At this point in time, that's all I want from him: to come to my graduation, sober. After that, I know I'll want him to drop it all, like I have been wanting him to do for the past two years; but after that, if mom kicks him out for good, I don't think I won't feel as ((what's the word...?)) neglected (((?))).
Last year one of my friends graduated, and her mom didn't even come to her graduation (her dad died 10 years ago). She was so upset, she was seriously taking to the idea of suicide 'cause she thought her mom didn't give a rip. Basically, I don't want that to be me. Some of you might be surprised, but I've actually lost count of how many times I've had an eye for that alternative this past year ((generally after they fought or dad drove off at 3 am as a drunken idiot)); but thanx to the love of my youth pastor and Christ's Promises, I haven't acted on that.
I've never told any of my friends about this problem, let alone anyone in my family, so this is kinda my way of breaking the barrier so I can get to that point. It's really hard for me to trust people around me now-a-days (all things considered), so I'm praying with this leap of faith those of you who have known me for years-on-end won't think the less of me.
Like I said, my family doesn't know about this, so I'm trusting ya'll not to call and be like, "Leah's mom; Did you know Leah was gonna do that?" ***trying to add sarcasm to lighten my somber mood ((not like its working or anything))***
I guess I'm trying to ask for ya'll to pray for my father and his problem so that it will stop affecting me, and that God will lift me up so I won't think about these dangerous, heart-wrenching alternatives anymore.
Thank you all SOOOO much!
~LC
Last week before I went on my class trip, (which was awesome, btw) dad took mom out on a date so they could patch up some things and hang out and have fun and what-not. So when I left, everything was all coolish. Then I came home yesterday to find that they're not talking to eachother again 'cause he keeps going out at 10 at night and comes home at 4 or 5 in the morning 'cause he's been drinking with some stranger he met at Alberstons...
Okay, I'll simmer down so I don't bore you with the details on how everthing got to this point. I can't even sit in youth room at church if someone is talking about how s/he went through this alcoholic stage when they were so-and-so years-old; I have to get up and leave. Basically, I'm graduating High School in three days, and I'm deathly afraid that their silence, mom's shunning, and dad's addiction is going to lead to him not even coming to my graduation. At this point in time, that's all I want from him: to come to my graduation, sober. After that, I know I'll want him to drop it all, like I have been wanting him to do for the past two years; but after that, if mom kicks him out for good, I don't think I won't feel as ((what's the word...?)) neglected (((?))).
Last year one of my friends graduated, and her mom didn't even come to her graduation (her dad died 10 years ago). She was so upset, she was seriously taking to the idea of suicide 'cause she thought her mom didn't give a rip. Basically, I don't want that to be me. Some of you might be surprised, but I've actually lost count of how many times I've had an eye for that alternative this past year ((generally after they fought or dad drove off at 3 am as a drunken idiot)); but thanx to the love of my youth pastor and Christ's Promises, I haven't acted on that.
I've never told any of my friends about this problem, let alone anyone in my family, so this is kinda my way of breaking the barrier so I can get to that point. It's really hard for me to trust people around me now-a-days (all things considered), so I'm praying with this leap of faith those of you who have known me for years-on-end won't think the less of me.
Like I said, my family doesn't know about this, so I'm trusting ya'll not to call and be like, "Leah's mom; Did you know Leah was gonna do that?" ***trying to add sarcasm to lighten my somber mood ((not like its working or anything))***
I guess I'm trying to ask for ya'll to pray for my father and his problem so that it will stop affecting me, and that God will lift me up so I won't think about these dangerous, heart-wrenching alternatives anymore.
Thank you all SOOOO much!
~LC
