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dealing with adultry

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 12:06 am
by edendreams
an old christian friend of mine led a very tough life. she fell away fron the church when she was young and became pregnant at 15. well she chose to raise her childi and moved to oregon where she lived and eventually married having a daughter.

but, recently she has felt like she missed out on the fun of being young because she became a mother so young. together with my sister they went to bars and drank. but last week. my friend slept with someone and told ehr husband. he was hurt but i believe he was willing to forgive her, however.

she is unwilling to ask for forgiveness. She asked him for a divorce and kicked him out of the apartment. she claimed she's looking to find herself but why in the arms of another?

it gets worse.

this last sunday my sister was to babysit the kid's till my friend got home. well... she didn't come home till 7am. her husband had come home crying because his wife told him she was going out with that guy and some of his friends to drink. why? why would she tell him something that hurts him so much? she's claiming that she's being honest but ehr intentions were to drive him away which i can't understand because i know how much she loves ehr husband. after that she told him she wanted a divorce because she's an unfit mother and demanded he take her kids... he's only the father to one.

the situation just seems to me that she's purposly pushing people away and trying to break free from all responibilities but she's also destroying everything! I've lost my respect for her as a friend and as a christian because this behavior is not like ehr. she tried so hard to not be like ehr mother but in one night she became her. -_- this is hard because i can't talk to ehr i wasn't even supposed to know anything but my sister wanted me to since i'm a friend. I just feel so bad for ehr husband because he worked so hard for his family to have a good life. he doesn't deserve this at all.

I'm so unsure of what to say or do because I became involved because of my sister. it's made me realize i've also fallen short in things and in my christianity... am i really one to tell ehr she's doing wrong? no i didn't bring her to those bars my sister did but we're all supposed to be christians trying to be closer to god and yet we set the wrong example. are we to blame for this? I can't help but get worked up over this situation because I'm not a very strong christian but i don't feel adultry is right and i want to talk to her.

I know that past sins should be forgiven and forgotten... it's hard not to get sucked up into this world. It's so hard to come back once your in it. and... it's even harder when others don't try to help or acknowledge. if there is one good thing it's that i'm illustrating a children's book one of the members of my church wrote. hopefully being around ehr will help me but i wish so much to encourage my friend to not leave ehr husband and children and to make the right choice before she's eaten up by the world again. maybe we'll all learn from this...

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 3:44 am
by Warrior4Christ
Wow. That's heavy! I think she should at least see a marriage counsellor before she does anything drastic.

I will be praying.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 6:59 am
by shooraijin
I think she has a lot of guilt that she is handling the very wrong way. I wonder what she thinks her daughter's reaction will be, that "Mommy doesn't want me anymore."

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:24 pm
by Rambo
First you have to ask forgiveness of God then forgive your self from falling way from God and tell you Friend you made mistakes but God still loves you. OK here it come you have to help her now before it gets worse and if she pushes away grab her and don't let go I think you would rather See her get saved and lose your friends ship then to see her go the wrong way and still lose her Friends don't let friends lose them selves If he is willing to forgive then you must to and your sis and tell her and get her and tell her to grow up and get her act together. If I made no sense sorry I will pray and Besides I am only 17 I don't know what its like to be married but one thing is I will never want a divorce and I will never cheat on my wife. Its just tought all around.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:07 pm
by Syreth
That sounds like a terrible situation. I'll pray that she repents. I'll also pray that you would be strong enough to do whatever you need to do for your friend.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 6:54 pm
by Rambo
I just wanted to say I am prayin so ya.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 7:30 pm
by Silent Hunter
Dear Lord, Only you know what's going on in her heart, and I'm sure that there's a lot of mixed up feelings in her heart and head. Please, before she ruins her life any further, smack her with the reality of what she's doing to herself and to her closest friends. Bring her back, just like you always do to your children, punish the disobedience and force a repentance, but please, keep her from destroying herself. Thank You so much, Father, for what you are doing and are going to do in her life, in your precious name, Amen

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 7:35 pm
by Rambo
amen. Ya reality would work I hope it does and don't give up chase her don't let her go on like this.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 8:38 pm
by Naga Kisaki
I'm still growing in christianity, and I'm nottrying to be argumentitive, butI thinka woman like that doens't derserve sympathy. I'd say prayfor theones around her, they could use it more. She's probably trying to get attention, andblowing off her children? That's just dispicable.

But... I'm just a kid, and I can't say Iknow much about that sort of problems, all I knowis how I'd feel in that situation.

Though I don't like the sound of her, I'll pray for her. And her family.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 11:15 pm
by edendreams
I thank you for the support really but.. she won't talk to me. I have to talk through my sister to her. -_- anyway she's in disneyland with her family (her family doesn't know anything)

I do agree that because of her attitude I don't sympathise with her. But i know her past... I was there when she was abandoned by her own mother. I just see why she wanted to do the same. and i agree it is for attention but y'know there are other ways to get attention without ruining your life.

I can't post too much i have some work to do :(

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 6:35 am
by termyt
I can't imagine a sadder story. She seems to be lashing out in all of the wrong directions.

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:31 pm
by Ryupower
It is not really hard for us NOT to fall for the World, for G-d gave us a new nature. :)
It's not too hard
It's just the words: " it's too hard"
that make it hard....so we might as well REMOVE those from our Vocabulary.
BTW: it seems like she is trying to manipulate here, trying to teach her husband a 'lesson' or something, why not just talk to him? -.-

Anyways, I'm praying for y'all.