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A Long-Kept Secret
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:27 pm
by Fionn Fael
Okay, so... I've been dealing with a certain weakness of mine for years now, and I just can't seem to give up the habit. It's my biggest stumbling stone when it comes to faith and my spiritual relationship. I developed it before I became a Christian, and after I committed my life to God, I swore that I would turn this problem over to Him. My decision to follow Him did change the majority of my life in a tremendously positive way. Yet, after a brief period of abstaining from my old addiction, I found myself giving in to temptation once again. I would fight it and fight it, but inevitably fail at resisting every time. Afterward, I instantly felt remorse for my actions, and would beg for forgiveness. I knew that God had redeemed me, but I sure hadn't forgiven myself.
I've never admitted any of this to anyone but the Lord, even keeping it from my closest friends and family members. I don't want anyone to know about it, because I'm afraid that non-Christians will see me and say, "And she calls herself a Christian? What a poser. I guess those 'religious' people aren't different, after all." Also, I'm worried that I'll be a disappointment to fellow Christians. It would kill me for anyone to perceive me like that, because I work so hard to live in a manner that's pleasing to God. I know that nobody's perfect, but I can't go on like this. I'm sure that it will only get worse from here on out if nothing's done. I could really use some prayer and/or good advice.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:48 pm
by Yumie
I think it all depends on the addiction.
If it were porn or alcohol or something like that, my policy is get rid of it and get rid of any way that you have easy access to it. The quicker access that you have to it, the easier it is to fall into the temptation.
I know that there are other addictive things which are not so tangible, and are harder to get rid of. The best way to get rid of these (and this actually also applies to the previous example) is to be in a constant offensive mindset about it. Don't wait for it to sneak up on you to deal with it. Remind yourself any time you even think about it that it's unhealthy and it's destructive to your relationship with God, and that you WANT to be done with it. And pray that God will help you have the strength to face up to it and deal with it. Have constant communication with Him about it, especially in moments when you are tempted. It's funny, one of my favorite Christian speakers, Beth Moore, used to have some major addiction struggles, and one of the ways that she dealt with it was by sleeping with an open Bible on her face as a reminder to her all night long to keep her mind pure. I'm not suggesting you do this, but it's a good idea to devise ways like this to remind yourself.
This is one of the hardest parts, but the Bible tells us that we are to "confess our sins to one another." I know it feels like torture to do this, but if you would tell someone, it would really help when it comes to accountability. It's way easier to continue in sin when you hide with it. If you have someone who can count on to be there for you when you're struggling and to help you through it, it'll make it easier than you can know. I'll pray for ya!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:46 pm
by agasfas
Temptation is something I think many people have trouble with. Whatever it may be, try to be strong. We're always here for ya, I'll keep you in my prayers.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 3:15 am
by Warrior4Christ
Temptation can be strong, but God is far stronger.
Yumie has suggested some good things, too.
I will be praying.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 5:43 am
by Sammy Boy
Some things I have done in my struggles with temptation involved reflecting upon whether any certain settings or times or dates of the week made me weaker and more susceptible to sin.
When I did identify certain patterns, I took steps to remove or change things so that I'd be less likely to fall into the same trap again.
Perhaps that is something worth considering as well as you seek to live for our Lord. Above all, keep praying. God knows you're struggling, and He's really keen to help you.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 3:45 pm
by Kaligraphic
Okay, here's a secret - what you see as forbidden is more attractive to you than what you see as permitted. The law is, after all, the power of sin. Samuel Clemens was referring to this dynamic when he wrote the bit (I think it was in Huck Finn) about the corncob pipes, where the boys very much wanted a smoke... as long as they couldn't have one. Once they got out of the obligation not to smoke, however, the desire to do so ceased. Now I'm not saying to go do anything crazy, but you need to know that it's not a matter of righteousness.
Jesus' death on the cross wasn't for you, it was you - He crucified you on that cross with himself. Your old life died that day, and three days later his resurrection was your resurrection. His death and his resurrection are at work in your body, and every sin you ever committed in the past, will ever commit in the future, or may even be committing right now have all been destroyed on the cross. You no longer have to do anything for righteousness. Sin is impossible for you. Stupidity is possible, but sin is not.
You need to realize that a Christian is not one by their actions, but by the spirit of God. If you have the spirit of God in you, then you're set - just spend time with God, and he'll put you where you need to be. He'll take care of you. He already knows your problems, and he has already taken care of them. Seeing yourself as a sinner is just a matter of not knowing yet that you're a saint. The only reason you persist in the behaviour that you call a sin is that you don't know who you are in that area - just ask God to show you who you are, and when you realize that you aren't a sinner there, if the behaviour is really contrary to God, then it'll lose its hold on you and it'll stop, and if it isn't something contrary to God, then knowing that God isn't against you because of it will still help your walk.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 4:18 pm
by kaiser
hmmm..... maybe you need a liberation....
When i became a Christian, i was freed of everything, but fell back to a vice that i had before becoming a christian...... time after i found out that it was because of the influence of a demon, so i got a liberation from it and now i have that under control
Hope this helps
Kaiser_Eleazar
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 5:31 pm
by Rambo
I have been a christian all my life and I still stumble at times but since \God forgives You must forgive your self if you cant forgive your self you wont go forward. Or something I don't like giving advise I will pray for you.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 5:49 pm
by Fionn Fael
Thanks for the encouragement and prayers, everyone. I appreciate it. I'll try to follow your advice. (It wouldn't hurt to try the "sleeping with a Bible on my face" technique, either.
)
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:47 am
by Mangafanatic
Hey,
I know I'm a little late on the draw, but I just thought I'd throw something in really quickly:
Fionn Fael wrote:I don't want anyone to know about it, because I'm afraid that non-Christians will see me and say, "And she calls herself a Christian? What a poser. I guess those 'religious' people aren't different, after all." Also, I'm worried that I'll be a disappointment to fellow Christians.
I think this might be a mistake. The people who I know that complain about "hypocrites" are the ones who have watched Christians who pretend to be perfect when they're not. I think Christians who are upfront about their struggles and forward about their struggle to overcome those sins are actually a
credit to the faith. Any Christian who would be "disappointed" in you would owe Jesus an apology. I'm sure there's no Christian you know who doesn't have his own area of struggle. Lying is no less shameful (in the eyes of a holy God) than, say, pornography. Sexual sin should reflect no less terribly on a Christian's witness than outbursts of anger. Find the kind of Christians who would be more concerned with helping you not to slide into these temptations than they would be in condemning your weakness, and tell them about your internal battles.
I'll be praying for you. I know it must be frustrating feeling that you can't tell anyone you know about this issue.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:30 am
by freerock1
Lifting you up. And don't forget about what the Bible says about who you are in Christ. It's not God's will for you to feel like a defeated sinner; you're a child of God and a friend of Christ! That's not to excuse or ignore sin, but the Bible says that if we sin, we have One who speaks to the Father in our defense, Jesus Christ. And if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9, 2:1).
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 2:42 pm
by Doubleshadow
I have on those kinds of problems. Depending on what it is and how comfortable you feel, assuming this hasn't been recommended already, tell a person you trust and have them be your accountabiliy partner. I'll pray for you.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:32 pm
by ssj2gohan61
i will be praying for you for sure.. i too have secrets i rather not discuss
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:38 pm
by Ryupower
OK everybody....
I USED TO BE INTO HENTAI AND PORN AND ESPECIALLY HARDCORE YAOI!!!!! TO MASTURBATION TOO!!!
I WAS IN THE OCCULT TOO!!!! I EVEN FANTASIZED ABOUT IMPURE THINGS!!
AND HALLELUJAH!!! I'M REDEEMED!!!! OLD IS GONE AND NEW IS HERE!!!
there, that wasn't hard.
all true, but all that mess broke off after I became a Christian...I needed to get a little filtered from demons, and so on.
but it really WAS an instant break off.
I agree with a previous post saying that the ppl. would think you're more of a hypocrit if you keep it silent, I'm not saying you're supposed to blurr it all out like I did ( lol ) but it's really better and easier to get delivered of it if you ask someone ( INCLUDING Jesus ) to help you. I'm not infering that your issue is sexual, it could be drugs or cigerettes or whatever ( the above was just my issue ) , nevertheless, it ALWAYS helps to talk about such things, if you don't, you may get all bitter inside ( we were not created to be alone. ).
Nevertheless, I'm Praying.
BTW, here's my favourite verse:
Gal 5:19-21
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
NKJV
it's a good whack over the head, and helped me alot...
G-d bless! and I pray.
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 7:18 pm
by Fionn Fael
You guys are the best. Really, it means a lot to get so much positive feedback and advice. I've gone almost two weeks without giving in to temptation! Praise God!
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 7:19 pm
by Fionn Fael
You guys are the best. Really, it means a lot to get so much positive feedback and advice. I've gone almost two weeks without giving in to temptation! I know that doesn't sound like a long time, but trust me, it's like an eternity in my perspective. Praise God!
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 8:09 pm
by heero yuy 95
I'm going through something similar in my life now, too. I'll be praying. don't worry, if you put your faith in god, he'll puul ya through.
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:04 am
by edendreams
My sister uses marijuana... she's a christian but claims she needs it for medical use... and i know it's not true and it's just her excuse.
Now i could call her a hypocrit and a poser because well she says that about the fact i have a swearing problem.
Point is.. we all have our weakness' and faults. all of us make mistakes and having an addiction is the same as someone who lies all the time. to god it's the same and he knows how hard it is to change a habit. but pray for strength that's the best thing and when you get a craving.. just pray to god. ^-^
I wish my sister would quit her drug use but in time she'll realize it herself (she's not easily persuaded)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:02 pm
by Ryupower
heero yuy 95 wrote:I'm going through something similar in my life now, too. I'll be praying. don't worry, if you put your faith in god, he'll puul ya through.
I pray for you too.