Really unhappy.............

[Heart of Sword]

Mom, if you're reading this, please respect my privacy.
















This all started because every single night I dream that I'm transforming into a wolf and leaping out my window and into the woods. Since I tell everyone about my dreams, eventually my mentor found out and told me all this stuff about werewolves being evil. I felt really bad and evil and...well, thought about suicide and came very, very close to killing myself. Since I turn into a wolf in my dreams, then that technically makes me a werewolf, so you can imagine how horrible it made me feel when my mom found out about my dreams and started this whole thing about werewolves being evil and possessed by the devil. Where is that in the Bible, I ask??? She said that only demons can change shape and won't listen when I argue that Moses' staff turned into a snake. (She claims that God would never, ever give anyone the gift of shapechanging.) And she made it worse by telling me that she'd kill me if I turned into a wolf to "put me out of my misery." She said that there's no such thing as a good werewolf, and when I said that there were good werewolves, she bit off my head and said that I was only trying to make something that was evil and demonic look good and basically implied that I was being Satanically influenced....

I know that dreams aren't reality, but they are in a way since, dream or not, the "me" in my dreams is still me. I'm terribly depressed and sometimes cry myself to sleep at night...which is hard since I have insomnia and usually can't sleep. My mother is really hateful about this kind of thing and borders on even fanaticism sometimes...she seems to be the kind of person who would bomb an abortion clinic. And I don't want to leave her house until I'm married, which (unfortunately) I'm not yet....please, please pray for me. I don't want the dreams to end as I find them incredibly enjoyable (there's nothing more fun than racing through the woods at full speed), but I don't want to be depressed anymore. I love my mother very much, and she's very good at making me feel...well, evil. Please pray that my depression subsides and that my mother stops attacking me about this...

[Mr_Ross]

I know how it feels to have your parents insult you or tell you that you are evil.



I have seen demons on and off (though very, VERY frequently in recent months, almost every day) ever since I was a toddler. Voices, physical manifestations, them touching me.. everything. My mother has hinted that she thinks I am possessed and/or a schizo and mental case. Hardly anyone ever believes me except for my friend Sarah who I met on this mIRC server called Anime-Chat, who is one of the few Christians who has ever been kind to me. She has visited me twice, and both times she said she feels an extremely heavy demonic presense in this area, and in particular the apartment I live in.

Pretty much everyone has told me that I am some kind of sick freak, psychopath or monster. Some of it is due to my being bisexual and other things of that sort, sometimes it is my anger and suicidal thoughts and other times it is the supernatural things that I see regularly. Many people have told me that I am not a Christian at all and that there is no way I could be one, being how I am now.

I am not sure what your dreams mean, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling particularly close to or feeling similar to a certain type of animal. Animals are the most beautiful things we have on this Earth, and sadly most people seem to completely disregard that out of arrogance and selfish desires. I do not know exactly how to help you, but if there is anything in particular you need, then please tell me. Trust me when I say that you are doing nothing wrong and what you are seeing (99% sure) is not evil, because if it was evil then as someone who knows God you would certainly be able to feel demonic things.

Just don't give up on what you feel is right for you... and if you ever DO feel something evil, then stop whatever you were doing. You don't want to see the things I've seen.... demons are not very fun to talk to and deal with, especially when you can see them face-to-face.

[starfire]

Let me start by saying that dreams are our subconscience's way of dealing with the things that we can't during the day. We've all had wonderful dreams and horrible dreams. I myself have had nightmares that I wouldn't want to put into words. But we have to remember that they're only dreams. Your mind is trying to make sense of something.

Yes, God speaks to people through dreams sometimes. But if it is him, you'll know it. Sometimes dreams just represent repressed feelings and emotions that want to come to the surface. Maybe when you're running through the forest, it's symbolic of your desire to be free from your mother's oppressive ways. That's understandable but does not mean that you're evil. Or a warewolf. And maybe you just like wolves. Or relate to a specific characteristic of wolves(ie.loneliness, solitude,freedom, etc.)

I'm so sorry that you felt like ending your life. Please know that no matter what anyone says about you, God loves you. And he wants you in His kingdom as his child. No one's parents are perfect, but we always have the heavenly father to Go to for comfort. Please, if your mother is truly threatening you and you feel that you can't take it anymore, and you're old enough to be on your own, there are places that you can go to. Try asking a trusted friend or relative to take you in until you can find someplace of your own. You don't have to wait until you're married.

I will hope and pray that you are able to see that you aren't some bad person. Like anyone, you need God's guidance. Ask Him what the dreams mean. And what you should do to handle this situation in His way.

May Jesus Christ bless you.

[Mithrandir]

MR_Ross: Your post has been deleted; see my PM, please.

Since I turn into a wolf in my dreams, then that technically makes me a werewolf

OK. Let's backup a step. I don't recall anywhere in the bible or any psycology text that DREAMS define REALLITY. They may reflect how we percieve reality, but they do NOT define it. Werewolfs are NOT REAL. Neither are Dragons, Elves or Trolls. A werewolf is a creature that ACTUALLY does these things. If your definition is as lose as the one above, then your definition is wrong and nothing I say will mean anything to you.

If someone tells you that you are a wearwolf because of your dream, then they don't know what they are talking about.

If someone tells you that you are EVIL because of this, then they are:
1. Not qualified to make the statement. And
2. Wrong.

I'm going to try to say this as tactfully as I can: You cannot keep putting this kind of "trust" in your dreams. You MUST put your trust in God. I'm not the worlds biggest theologian, but it sure seems to me like it's possible that one of the following scenareos is true:
1. Satan is using these dreams to keep you locked in a state of fear so that you cannot grow as a Christian.
2. Your belief in the dreams is changing how you view yourself and causing you to think things that are not true.

I would STRONGLY caution you drop the line of thinking that you are a wearwolf. If you continue to believe it, you will not be able to get past this. It will feed on itself and cause a very nasty feedback loop in your brain.

All that being said: suicide is never the answer. That's a lie that you simply cannot believe.

You are believing a dangerous cult-fringe theology that is not compatible with your Christianity. You have to let go of this and stop letting your dreams define reality.

[Mangafanatic]

Hey Darlin',
First, let me just say how glad I am that you did not kill yourself. I, and many others, would miss you very much.

Now, about these dreams: They're not real. The fact is that you are very sensative to animals. You obviously think and care about them a lot. Dreams are often triggered (from what I understand about them) by thought processes that you were consciously carrying on while you were awake and your subconscience continues while you sleep. You have no control over them. Back when I was obsessed with Digimon, I had multiple dreams in which I was a digidestined and I was permitted to interact with the fictional characters I had come to like so much. Was I really a digidestined? *checks for digi-vice* *sighs* No. I once dreamed I was pregnant, unmarried, and completely confused about how on earth this had happened. Did I do anything wrong? Did my having a dream about being pregnant while unmarried change anything about the purity that I've been so careful to maintain in my life? Heck, NO! You think about wolves a lot when you're awake I imagine, so it's not surprising that you dream about them or becoming them, in this case.

I don't really see anything being wrong with these dreams. They're just like flying dreams. Lots of people have those. Dreaming you become a wolf and jump our your window doesn't change diddly about you. If you dreamed you turned into a pumpkin, that wouldn't make you a pumpkin. Don't let anyone tell you that you're being satanic. Unless you're doing something that scripture declares is evil (which dreaming is NOT) or you're somehow inducing these dreams [I don't really see how that would be possible, but we'll just consider it in the hypothetical] when the spirit has been telling you they're not healthy, I would really just brush off what these people are telling you. Not that you shouldn't respect them. Definitely respect them, but remind them that they're just dreams, that you can't change them or stop them, and that they're not causing you to fall away from God.

[snow_Rock]

that's really interesting Heart Of Sword. And I am glad you have resisted suicidal attempts. You see, when you think of suiciding, the devil will really make you a lot more depressed. Don't give the devil a foothold!
about the dreams....wolves....forest. I myself have a fetish for wolves because they are unique and ...somewhat cool and judging from your avatar, you really do like wolves. Dreams are trials. Meaning, you can't control them. I'll be praying

[Heart of Sword]

Thank you guys so much for your prayers. My mother and I talked last night/this morning and it turns out I had sort of misunderstood her. She felt really bad about how she made me feel, and we're on good terms again, somehow. Again, thank you. Now, I'm off to have some fun...

[freerock1]

Praise God that you got through it.

Be aware that Satan does attack us at our weakest points. But when he comes around to attack us, we can remember who God says we are in Christ. We need to really be grounded and know what the Word of God says about who we are in Christ. I would encourage you to focus on finding Scriptures that talk about who we are in Christ -- I'd recommend starting with Romans, Ephesians, and 1 John. Memorize some of the verses that speak strongly about our standing in Christ.

Remember, Satan came to tempt Jesus, and if he attacked our Master, we can expect him to come against us as well. But just as Jesus did, we can quote the Scriptures to him and rebuke him, knowing that Jesus has given us the spiritual authority to do that. James 4:7 says resist the devil, and he will flee.

BTW, I saw your other prayer request as well; glad things are going better there.