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full of crap...

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 9:55 pm
by Slater
*sigh*

I need some spiritual ipecac lately to clear all the **** out of my system right now... I feel horrible...

Lately the sin in my life has been rampant, horrible. A few weeks ago, I rejoined a porn community that I was part of before I was even 17 years old. Things seem to have gone downhill from there, even though I'm not part of that community any more.

I've been viewing more porn and getting off more than ever before and 90% of the time I lie to my gf about it. I've even been nagging one of my dear brothers in Christ to have two of our characters cyber in a roleplay we've been doing. Just yesterday I downloaded over 170 MB of porn and bragged to him about it, then proceeded to offer it to him (he never accepted any of these things, thank God).

I told my gf about it, and... well... she was quite **** about my recent behavior... more angry than I've seen her get over anything in a long time. I feel really terrible, especially when I have a Bible sitting next to my computer 24-7, but I never read it. I just let it sit there when I decide to check out the new porn on the net when I could pick it up and read it and do my spiritual body good instead of harm...

I just really want to be set free from all the sin ensnaring my life... I want the ability to know to pray more often, cause I know that's they key to fighting this battle the right way... but I never do it... I just... *sigh*

I've compromised on way too much stuff lately and I need help to break back through these prison walls... I can't do it alone.

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 10:13 pm
by Scribs
First off, a bit of encouragement. It seems like you really want to get out of these destructive patterns that you are in. This is wonderful. You realise that what you are doing is very wrong, and want to change it. It really seems like God has been working in you, and causing you to want to change, and if he has gotten you this far, I am sure he will help you get the rest of the way.

Secondly, I want you to know that I will be praying for you.

-Scribs

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 11:13 pm
by ~Natsumi Lam~
1. Change isnt change until you change!~~

2. You just have to do it all at one time... chuck the porn out the door! Delete it all!!!! To do it little by little isnt the way to go!!!! YOU MIND WILL make excuses!!!!! Do it all at once...

3. Stay away from the temptation!!! If you have to give up your comp for your mental and spiritual health .... do it all costs!!!!!!! Disconnect the internet!!!

4. Every time you feel tempted, read your bible and GET AWAY FROM THE COMP!!!

5. From a girls point of view: your girl friend is sooo upset because she thinks she is not good enough looking for you!!! She is deepppppply hurt and wounded.

6. Personal experience, i am seriously tempted by porn... seen it and like it but.... get yourself completely away from it allllll at once. Just like drugs, to go little by little away from it DOES NOT WORK!!!! all at once.

7. Like i said ... change isnt change unless you change. You are not going to change your spiritual life, mental standing.... unless you change! You have to say!!! I am changing ... RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

8. Dont make excuses... not one.. " We do not fight against flesh and blood, but against the powers of darkness and those things unseen..[Crystal's edition:)]" . You are not fighting fully against your lusts.. you are fighting against the spiritual realm that wants to "Steal, kill and distroy" you and your walk with God. So fight the spiritual way... pick up that bible that sits next to you every time you look at porn... read it when you are tempted, pray when you are tempted, get away from your computer and all other forms.... You are fighting the spiritual battle so do some spiritual warfare!!!!!!!!!

9. Have accountablitiy partners... get a man of God [more senior adult than you] and have him watch out for you!!!!!!

10. Pray and do...: pray against your desires and do what you know is right... its that plain and simple.

11. lastly, porn ruines marriages... get away from it before you are married, get away from it now!!!!

Your sister in christ.
Natsumi Lam

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 11:15 pm
by ~Natsumi Lam~
oh yea....

12. Do not watch any shows that show any sexuality... for a season. Seeing shows like that only spark an interest for porno again!


~NL~

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 11:34 pm
by Fsiphskilm
Just reme

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 11:38 pm
by Hephzibah
2. You just have to do it all at one time... chuck the porn out the door! Delete it all!!!! To do it little by little isnt the way to go!!!! YOU MIND WILL make excuses!!!!! Do it all at once...

ABSOLUTELY! This is a critical step, and pray over yourself as you do it. I was caught up in something (not porn, thank Jesus), and was finding it extremely difficult to stop. It had been going on for over 4 or 5 years; looking back on it now, I realised that the reason why I had such a hard time breaking it was because every time I chose to stop, I kept a few things hidden away thinking "It probably won't work... I want to keep these for next time".

Kinda a stupid attitude eh? Dooms the efforts to failure from the beginning!

3. Stay away from the temptation!!! If you have to give up your comp for your mental and spiritual health .... do it all costs!!!!!!! Disconnect the internet!!!

4. Every time you feel tempted, read your bible and GET AWAY FROM THE COMP!!!

Another good point! Try to get involved in activities that are away from the computer. Drawing, cooking, learning different languages, focusing on study (if you do study), etc. Reading the Bible is definitely important; also perhaps try getting a hold of teaching tapes or sermons; I sometimes find it easier to get something out of watching and listening to things (even the Audio Bible!)

Here are a few verses that deal with temptation

Luke 22:40
On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation."

2 Timothy 2:22
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

I'll be praying for you matie :thumb:

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 1:35 am
by agasfas
Porn is a tough thing to get over... What keeps me away from is that I don't want to end up like my father. Currently my dad is divorced and has been addicted to porn since his teenage years. It seems like a waste... That stuff can really make the spouse feel insecure about themselves because you keep looking at other people; like they're not enough. I mean, my father doesn't really respect women... I'm sure that has to do a lot with it...

How I see it is that you have a girlfriend that cares for you and I can understand her anger at you. I mean, she's been through this a few times before... If you want to really change you can. Try using your girlfriend, friends, and the Lord for motivation. They will always there to support you. Compromise, like you've been saying will only lead you back into the habbit. Try to stay strong and keep praying...
I'll be praying for you bud.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 10:03 am
by Alice
Prayers for you.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 4:00 pm
by K. Ayato
Porn is like a drug addiction. Hard to quit, but even more harder when your mind and body keep telling you that you need even more. I would suggest staying away from computers, especially when they're in such easy access for students.

I'll be praying, Nick. Count on it. If you like (and if it's all right), you can call me up anytime. PM me if you're interested.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 4:04 pm
by Slater
thanx for praying guyz...

Anyways, I know about the computer suggestion... Problem is that you can't be a computer major in college and cut yourself off from the internet... Nowadays the net's become a required resource...

Even worse, I have to do a few reports on female sexuality and the use thereof in media this week... x.x

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 4:11 pm
by Hephzibah
Even worse, I have to do a few reports on female sexuality and the use thereof in media this week... x.x

What class is that for frwl? Is it required in the computer major?

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 4:14 pm
by Slater
It's English 114, a GE requirement for Freshmen

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 4:21 pm
by Spiritsword
I will pray.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 6:20 pm
by Silvanis
My prayers.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 6:40 pm
by Zilch
Dude, happened to me, too. As the others have said, stay away as much as possible, and if you get ANY kind of temptation, get away at that moment. can't stress that enough. If you have to run outside in your boxers until you've got a hold on your head, do so. Dead serious, man. Joseph Method, tried and true.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 8:26 pm
by Yumie
I'll be praying for you. It's too bad you can't get away from the computer-- honestly that seems like it would be the most effective method. But how about this--find someone that knows the Lord that you really respect, and tell them about your problem. Then, tell them when things like your project come up, tell them the days that you think you will have the most temptation, and ask them to pray hard for you. Tell them to ask you how it went later. Maybe if you constantly have somebody saying, "So, how did you handle it? Did you overcome the temptation or succumb to it?" It might help. And when you're tempted, think about that person. Think about what you're going to have to tell them later.

One last thing. Consider leaving your Bible OPEN on your computer desk. Open it to a verse that really convicts you about the subject. That way, every time you face temptation, you will not only see your Bible but the exact part that tells you to staw away from what you're about to get into. If it helps, post a sticky note on your computer that says, "WARNING: Porn in all forms is dangerous. Step away from the porn." Or whatever you think will get your attention best. I'll really be praying for you. Good luck! :thumb:

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 9:26 pm
by Hephzibah
Yumie wrote:One last thing. Consider leaving your Bible OPEN on your computer desk. Open it to a verse that really convicts you about the subject. That way, every time you face temptation, you will not only see your Bible but the exact part that tells you to staw away from what you're about to get into.

That's a good one. Can I add to that and say highlight the verse or do something to make it stand out.

I'll be praying for you matie

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 3:14 pm
by K. Ayato
There's a verse in Psalms (again, I forget the reference) that says "I will set no wicked thing before my eyes." Try to keep that in mind as you work on your project. I'll be praying.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 5:09 pm
by heero yuy 95
Hey, man, I know what you're going through. I used to look at porn, also. And yes, I also let it dominate my spare time and i did brag about to a friend. a lot of Christains just lie to themselves and say it's okay and keep it to themselves, but you just came here and spilled out your guts, which I respect. just remember, that throught the power of God, you can overcome this. And like others said, you can't beat this gradually, cold turkey is the only way, take my word, i learned the hard way too many times that gradual just won't cut it. I remember nights when I had been looking at a lot of it, when it came time for me to go to bed, I didn't even pray, now I know why, I did somehing wrong and I didn't want to face God. I was at a real low point, but now i'm past porn. I do however still have problems with sexualized anime. Not hentai, just suggestive stuff, and it causes me to stumble. I know that this will most likely lead me back into hentai, so i would really like to get out my life. Just remember, you can beat this, I'll be praying. And another thing, whenever you feel tempted to look at porn just think about your future wife, whoever she may be, this really helped for me. Well, I'll be praying.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 5:35 pm
by Tempest
frwl wrote:thanx for praying guyz...

Anyways, I know about the computer suggestion... Problem is that you can't be a computer major in college and cut yourself off from the internet... Nowadays the net's become a required resource...

Even worse, I have to do a few reports on female sexuality and the use thereof in media this week... x.x

Oh no you don't! You tell the teacher your problem and ask him to do a report on something else. That's unacceptable :shady: You should not be forced to do that. :mutter:

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 5:41 pm
by Myoti
I don't view porn, but what I do do I consider a... bit of an embarrasment, and therefore prefer not to tell anyone. Being that way, I'm not sure I have any real suggestions, but there seem to be plenty of good ones from our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

I guess the best I can do is to pray for you.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 6:07 pm
by PrincessZelda
Well, everyone's said a lot of good stuff... so there's not really anything for me to say. But, here's a cool program.Click here
You give it someone who can hold you accountable's email addresses in, and everytime you look at porn, it sends them an email that tells them. And it also tells them if you turn it off.

And I'll be praying for you.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 6:54 pm
by Slater
oh yeah, I don't view porn... it's yiff. I have been using X3 watch for months now, but yiff sites aren't as explicit in their language (text based) as real porn sites, so X3 watch almost never catches it.

Real porn disturbs me >ô_ô<

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 8:20 pm
by Mave
I guess I could say I struggle with this type of temptation on a daily basis.

I kinda figured the following:

Ok, so I want to be a great Christian manga artist and prayer guardian. Now, how on earth am I going to do that if I've been filling my mind and eyes with filth like smut?

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." ~ James 5:16

Think about it. If I don't reject my sin, all my hard work in mangakaing and prayers mean NOTHING and are USELESS. How can I expect God to bless the ministry of mangakaing and prayer? How dare I even ask God to bless my health, finance, career and relationships if I refuse to obey Him? There's no point being a Christian unless you mean it wholeheartedly.

You're not alone. Let's confess our sins and pray for each other. Time to get serious with God.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 8:30 pm
by heero yuy 95
oh yeah, I don't view porn... it's yiff


ummm... forgive my asking, but what exactly is "yiff'?

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 9:29 pm
by freerock1
:shake: <-- at your ENG prof, not at you; I know sometimes they make crappy assignments like that.

Lifting you up, bro, and if there's anything I can do for you, feel free to PM/IM me.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:02 pm
by Heart of Sword
I'll be praying for you.

A word of advice, make a Christian website such as Bible Gateway your home page so that when you sign on to look for porn, the first thing you see is Christian. My father did this and it helped him immensely.

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:48 am
by ~Natsumi Lam~
Heart of Sword wrote:I'll be praying for you.

A word of advice, make a Christian website such as Bible Gateway your home page so that when you sign on to look for porn, the first thing you see is Christian. My father did this and it helped him immensely.



awsome suggestion!!!!

Also putting bible verses around your comp on Stick-it pads work also.

~Natsumi Lam~

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:56 am
by ~Natsumi Lam~
Zelda27 wrote:Well, everyone's said a lot of good stuff... so there's not really anything for me to say. But, here's a cool program.Click here
You give it someone who can hold you accountable's email addresses in, and everytime you look at porn, it sends them an email that tells them. And it also tells them if you turn it off.

And I'll be praying for you.




Are pop ups exempt... i have a lot of stupid and random popups... like when you go to some bittorrent DL sites i get a porn pop up. So do those count with this program?

~Natsumi Lam~

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 5:12 am
by bigsleepj
I'll be praying for you. Hang in there. :thumb: