For the past few weeks now, I've been under a massive degree of suffering. Lately, I haven't had time for anything or anyone. I feel like everything I've ever known to be constant is crumbling around me and I have no reason to live or to fight for myself... yet I feel like I have to keep going for some reason. People keep telling me to hold on... to keep going... that my life is important to them. I just don't feel that anymore. I used to... but everything is just so hazy again. I'm feel like I'm failing everyone I've ever known in everything I do. I'm letting everyone down, even God, and I don't know how to fix it. If ever there was a time to just let go and die, now would be it... but I am incapable of doing so... I just can't let go. I hate this feeling more than anything, so please pray for me. I don't want to go through this dark valley anymore.
P.S. -- Also, please pray for Kumiko213. She's also going through a lot in her life, and she is one of our own... so let's take care of her.
loneliness... depression and self-loathing... I can barely stand...
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Nightshade X - Posts: 681
- Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2003 10:10 am
- Location: The space between occupied worlds
I will be praying for you and Kumiko213 & I have a few things that might help you.
1.
In John 17:15 Jesus said these words, “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.â€
1.
In John 17:15 Jesus said these words, “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.â€
Live your life, love the Lord, and don't forget to laugh...
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holysoldier5000 - Posts: 771
- Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 5:31 am
- Location: Off the page of the map... here there be monsters!
3.
Jesus said the devil is a liar and a murderer whose aim is to destroy, to wreck, to distort and pervert human life. But, this need not be. God gives us the very passage we are to implore as an adequate defense against the wiles of the devil. We are urged and encouraged to use it. "Be strong in the Lord," the apostle says, "and in the strength of his might," (Ephesians 6:10). It is possible to stand; it is possible to overcome. This word is very encouraging to us. But that alone is not enough. That tells us there is an answer but it does not tell us exactly what it is. Our question always is, "How do you do this?" How, exactly, do you become, "strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might?" The answer is, "Put on the whole armor of God," (Ephesians 6:11). Paul says,
Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the equipment of the gospel of peace; above all taking the shield of faith, with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Ephesians 6:14-17)
Now look at the second piece of armor, the breastplate of righteousness: Have you put that on? "Having put on the breastplate of righteousness" -- what does that mean? Well, that is Christ as the ground of your righteous standing before God, your acceptance before him. If you have that on you can rest secure that your heart, your emotions, are securely guarded and adequately protected against attack. This is perhaps the most frequent ground of attack against Christian faith. Christians, by one means or another, through one circumstance or another, often feel they lack assurance. They feel unworthy of God. They feel they are a failure in the Christian life and that God, therefore, is certain to reject them, that he is no longer interested in them. They are so aware of their failures and shortcomings. Growth has been so slow. The first joy of faith has faded, and they feel God is angry with them or that he is distant, far off somewhere. There is a constant sense of guilt. Their conscience is always stabbing them, making them unhappy, miserable. They feel God blames them. This is simply a satanic attack, a means of opposing and destroying what God intends to do.
How do you answer an attack like this? You are to remember that you have put on the breastplate of righteousness. In other words, you do not stand on your own merits. You never did. You never had anything worthwhile in yourself to offer to God. You gave all that up when you came to Christ. You quit trying to be good enough to please God. You came on his merits. You came on the ground of his imputed righteousness -- that which he gives to you. You began your Christian life like that and there is no change now. You are still on that basis.
This is why Paul begins his great eighth chapter to the Romans with the words, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," (Romans 8:1). No condemnation! You are believing a lie when you believe that God is angry with you and that he rejects you. Remember, you stand on Christ's merits, "accepted in the Beloved," (Ephesians 1:6). Further on in that chapter he asks, "Who can accuse us?" (Romans 8:33). It is God who justifies. Christ, who died for us, is the only one who has the right to accuse us, and he loves us. Therefore there is no separation. "Who can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus?" (Romans 8:35). Who can do this?
Now this does not mean that God puts his hand on the things we know are wrong in our lives and says, "Oh, well, these things do not matter. Don't worry about these." Of course not. But it means he sees them, and he says, "Oh, yes, but he hasn't learned yet all that I intend to teach him." And he deals with us as a father, in love and patient discipline -- as a father, not as a judge.
See how the Apostle Paul himself used this breastplate of righteousness when he was under pressure to be discouraged and defeated. Have you ever thought of the struggles he personally had in this realm? Here was a man who was small of stature, unimpressive, in his personal appearance. In fact, there is very good evidence to indicate that he was even repulsive to many. He had a disfiguring physical ailment which made him unpleasant to look at. The last thing he had was what is called a commanding presence. His background was anti-Christian and he could never get away from that completely. He had been the most hostile, brutal persecutor of the church they had known. He must constantly have run across families with loved ones whom he had put to death. He was often reminded by many people that he was not one of the original twelve apostles, that his calling was suspect, that perhaps he really was not an apostle at all. Writing to the Corinthians about these very matters, he says of himself in Chapter 15, "I am the least of the apostles, unfit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God," (1 Corinthians 15:9).
What a ground for discouragement! How easy it would have been for him to my to himself, "What's the use? Here I am working my head off, working my fingers to the bone, making tents and trying to preach the gospel to these people, and look at the blessing God has brought them, but they don't care. They hurl recriminations back into my face. Why try anymore?" But that is not what he does. The very next verse says, "By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain," (1 Corinthians 15:10). There he is using the breastplate of righteousness. I don't care, he says, what I have been, I don't defend what I am. I simply say to you, by the grace of God, I am what I am. What I am is what Christ has made me. I'm not standing on my righteousness, I'm standing on his, I am accepted by grace, and my personal situation does not make any difference at all. So his heart was kept from discouragement. He could say, "Sure, all these things are true, but that does not change the fact that I am Christ's man, and I have his power. He is in me and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," (Philippians 4:13). Thus he reminded himself that when he became a Christian he had put on the breastplate of righteousness and he never allowed himself to be discouraged, for he did not look to himself for anything at all. He looked to Christ.
Any way I hope this helps. If you and Kumiko213 need someone to talk to you can always PM me.
God Bless
HS5000
Jesus said the devil is a liar and a murderer whose aim is to destroy, to wreck, to distort and pervert human life. But, this need not be. God gives us the very passage we are to implore as an adequate defense against the wiles of the devil. We are urged and encouraged to use it. "Be strong in the Lord," the apostle says, "and in the strength of his might," (Ephesians 6:10). It is possible to stand; it is possible to overcome. This word is very encouraging to us. But that alone is not enough. That tells us there is an answer but it does not tell us exactly what it is. Our question always is, "How do you do this?" How, exactly, do you become, "strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might?" The answer is, "Put on the whole armor of God," (Ephesians 6:11). Paul says,
Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the equipment of the gospel of peace; above all taking the shield of faith, with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Ephesians 6:14-17)
Now look at the second piece of armor, the breastplate of righteousness: Have you put that on? "Having put on the breastplate of righteousness" -- what does that mean? Well, that is Christ as the ground of your righteous standing before God, your acceptance before him. If you have that on you can rest secure that your heart, your emotions, are securely guarded and adequately protected against attack. This is perhaps the most frequent ground of attack against Christian faith. Christians, by one means or another, through one circumstance or another, often feel they lack assurance. They feel unworthy of God. They feel they are a failure in the Christian life and that God, therefore, is certain to reject them, that he is no longer interested in them. They are so aware of their failures and shortcomings. Growth has been so slow. The first joy of faith has faded, and they feel God is angry with them or that he is distant, far off somewhere. There is a constant sense of guilt. Their conscience is always stabbing them, making them unhappy, miserable. They feel God blames them. This is simply a satanic attack, a means of opposing and destroying what God intends to do.
How do you answer an attack like this? You are to remember that you have put on the breastplate of righteousness. In other words, you do not stand on your own merits. You never did. You never had anything worthwhile in yourself to offer to God. You gave all that up when you came to Christ. You quit trying to be good enough to please God. You came on his merits. You came on the ground of his imputed righteousness -- that which he gives to you. You began your Christian life like that and there is no change now. You are still on that basis.
This is why Paul begins his great eighth chapter to the Romans with the words, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," (Romans 8:1). No condemnation! You are believing a lie when you believe that God is angry with you and that he rejects you. Remember, you stand on Christ's merits, "accepted in the Beloved," (Ephesians 1:6). Further on in that chapter he asks, "Who can accuse us?" (Romans 8:33). It is God who justifies. Christ, who died for us, is the only one who has the right to accuse us, and he loves us. Therefore there is no separation. "Who can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus?" (Romans 8:35). Who can do this?
Now this does not mean that God puts his hand on the things we know are wrong in our lives and says, "Oh, well, these things do not matter. Don't worry about these." Of course not. But it means he sees them, and he says, "Oh, yes, but he hasn't learned yet all that I intend to teach him." And he deals with us as a father, in love and patient discipline -- as a father, not as a judge.
See how the Apostle Paul himself used this breastplate of righteousness when he was under pressure to be discouraged and defeated. Have you ever thought of the struggles he personally had in this realm? Here was a man who was small of stature, unimpressive, in his personal appearance. In fact, there is very good evidence to indicate that he was even repulsive to many. He had a disfiguring physical ailment which made him unpleasant to look at. The last thing he had was what is called a commanding presence. His background was anti-Christian and he could never get away from that completely. He had been the most hostile, brutal persecutor of the church they had known. He must constantly have run across families with loved ones whom he had put to death. He was often reminded by many people that he was not one of the original twelve apostles, that his calling was suspect, that perhaps he really was not an apostle at all. Writing to the Corinthians about these very matters, he says of himself in Chapter 15, "I am the least of the apostles, unfit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God," (1 Corinthians 15:9).
What a ground for discouragement! How easy it would have been for him to my to himself, "What's the use? Here I am working my head off, working my fingers to the bone, making tents and trying to preach the gospel to these people, and look at the blessing God has brought them, but they don't care. They hurl recriminations back into my face. Why try anymore?" But that is not what he does. The very next verse says, "By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain," (1 Corinthians 15:10). There he is using the breastplate of righteousness. I don't care, he says, what I have been, I don't defend what I am. I simply say to you, by the grace of God, I am what I am. What I am is what Christ has made me. I'm not standing on my righteousness, I'm standing on his, I am accepted by grace, and my personal situation does not make any difference at all. So his heart was kept from discouragement. He could say, "Sure, all these things are true, but that does not change the fact that I am Christ's man, and I have his power. He is in me and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," (Philippians 4:13). Thus he reminded himself that when he became a Christian he had put on the breastplate of righteousness and he never allowed himself to be discouraged, for he did not look to himself for anything at all. He looked to Christ.
Any way I hope this helps. If you and Kumiko213 need someone to talk to you can always PM me.
God Bless
HS5000
Live your life, love the Lord, and don't forget to laugh...
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holysoldier5000 - Posts: 771
- Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 5:31 am
- Location: Off the page of the map... here there be monsters!
I'll be praying for both you and Kumiko213. Read Hebrews 10, especially noting verses 35 and 36. In fact, all of Hebrews is wonderfully motivating when you're in that dark valley. 
Zar wrote:Praise God for all things awesome. Life ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But sanctify the Lord your God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
-- 1 Peter 3:15
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Rogie - Posts: 2975
- Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Virginia
I know how ya feel man, I've felt the same so many times in my life.
Sometimes the best way to get closer to the Lord is to have or allow our walls ( like pride, guilt, greed or whatever keeps us away from God) to crumble to nothing. Only then, can we give it all to God and allow Him to rebuild us to the person we need/ought to be. So although it may seem like nothing good may come from this situation, if you give God a chance to work, miraculous things can happen. But if we don't allow it, things may not change for the better... the bricks may just continue to lay there- all in a sambles.
I know sometimes things seem so dark and impossible, but things aren't always that way. Sometimes we just need to give things time; time to allow things in life to grow and prosper.
And as always, I will be praying for you. Just remember, the Lord can really work in wonderful and sometimes awkward ways... Take care man.
Oh, and Kumiko213 will also be in my prayers. I talk to her occasionally, so I know a bit of what's going on.
I'll pray that you both try to remain strong so that good things can happen in y'alls lifes.
Edit: And if you ever feel really down, The Book of Psalms is a really inspiration book that really gives me some hope when things sometimes seem really dark. Sometimes a smile can open a doorway out of darkness. Well, it never hurts to try... Anyways, I'll continue to keep y'all in my prayers.
Sometimes the best way to get closer to the Lord is to have or allow our walls ( like pride, guilt, greed or whatever keeps us away from God) to crumble to nothing. Only then, can we give it all to God and allow Him to rebuild us to the person we need/ought to be. So although it may seem like nothing good may come from this situation, if you give God a chance to work, miraculous things can happen. But if we don't allow it, things may not change for the better... the bricks may just continue to lay there- all in a sambles.
I know sometimes things seem so dark and impossible, but things aren't always that way. Sometimes we just need to give things time; time to allow things in life to grow and prosper.
And as always, I will be praying for you. Just remember, the Lord can really work in wonderful and sometimes awkward ways... Take care man.
Oh, and Kumiko213 will also be in my prayers. I talk to her occasionally, so I know a bit of what's going on.
I'll pray that you both try to remain strong so that good things can happen in y'alls lifes.
Edit: And if you ever feel really down, The Book of Psalms is a really inspiration book that really gives me some hope when things sometimes seem really dark. Sometimes a smile can open a doorway out of darkness. Well, it never hurts to try... Anyways, I'll continue to keep y'all in my prayers.
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.." Prov 17:22
The word 'impossible' isn't in my dictionary... but I don't really have a dictionary you know? - Eikichi Onizuka.
Sorry, but I stop being a teacher at 5 o'clock. - Eikichi Onizuka.
The word 'impossible' isn't in my dictionary... but I don't really have a dictionary you know? - Eikichi Onizuka.
Sorry, but I stop being a teacher at 5 o'clock. - Eikichi Onizuka.
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agasfas - Posts: 2341
- Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 7:27 pm
- Location: Austin, TX
Oh I will be praying for you. *hug*
formerly known as ILoveArt
My Deviant Art
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
My Deviant Art
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. Dave Barry
bigsleepj wrote: Unfinished stories never leave you, nor do they fester. They only grow better, like wine locked away in a deep dark cellar, waiting for you to bottle it and bring it to the light.
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White Raven - Posts: 664
- Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: In a place where Piccolo fangirls are welcomed
-_- you know i'm praying for you, old friend...
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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c.t.,girl - Posts: 1428
- Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:00 am
- Location: BEHIND YOU.
Me too. Hey, I don't know if this will help, but I recommend concentrating on the book of Psalms, with special attention to chapters 37, 40, and 73.
K. Ayato: What happens if you press the small red button?
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
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K. Ayato - Posts: 3881
- Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:00 am
- Location: Southern California
I will pray for you.
We all love you I may not know you personally, but I love every one.
I resently went thriugh the same thing with one of my best friends it's tuff.
I was depressed myself once. You should get some help. It really does help you. So once again we love ya. Here's a hug. some times you just need a good hug to make your day.
We all love you I may not know you personally, but I love every one.
I resently went thriugh the same thing with one of my best friends it's tuff.
I was depressed myself once. You should get some help. It really does help you. So once again we love ya. Here's a hug. some times you just need a good hug to make your day.
[size=134]Remember: [/SIZE] Always have fun 
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
Adopter of: Kazekami
Adopted by: Shadowchild
Sister of: Teen4Truth
Brother:ky kiske
Grandaugher of: Nami
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
Adopter of: Kazekami
Adopted by: Shadowchild
Sister of: Teen4Truth
Brother:ky kiske
Grandaugher of: Nami
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spirit-me-away - Posts: 91
- Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:08 pm
- Location: West of the Mississippi
I think I know the feeling, having felt it for the past year, though I took pains not to feel it so dramatically - that no matter how hard I try I do nobody any good, neither YHWH, man, family, or friends, that the price Christ payed for me was too steep, that all the organisms and resources I've consumed are more than I'm worth, that there is no reason I shouldn't die in shame and go to shame eternally. Nevertheless, I've never taken the thought of suicide seriously - while I yet live I have the chance to do better, which I channel effort into, you would do well to remember this too.Nightshade X wrote:For the past few weeks now, I've been under a massive degree of suffering. Lately, I haven't had time for anything or anyone. I feel like everything I've ever known to be constant is crumbling around me and I have no reason to live or to fight for myself... yet I feel like I have to keep going for some reason. People keep telling me to hold on... to keep going... that my life is important to them. I just don't feel that anymore. I used to... but everything is just so hazy again. I'm feel like I'm failing everyone I've ever known in everything I do. I'm letting everyone down, even God, and I don't know how to fix it. If ever there was a time to just let go and die, now would be it... but I am incapable of doing so... I just can't let go. I hate this feeling more than anything, so please pray for me. I don't want to go through this dark valley anymore.
P.S. -- Also, please pray for Kumiko213. She's also going through a lot in her life, and she is one of our own... so let's take care of her.
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GhostontheNet - Posts: 1963
- Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2004 12:00 pm
- Location: Aurora, CO
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