there's no point in doing it...i mean...other than my friends(cutting)/brother(walked away from God)/dad(is slipping from God and is just a jerk sometimes)/grandparents(dying from diseases)/grades(failing 3 classes)/dizziness and can't focus(gets really bad sometimes)/back(is really messed up) i don't really have a reason to kill myself...(btw pray for all those things ^^) yet...i still get that little urge to just...give up..
You really shouldn't let things that are out of your control bring you down. I wont lie and say everything in life is easy to put up with, but we have to learn to live w/ change and difficult situations. Humans have a way on focusing on all the negatives rather them the positives ((no matter how few it may be). For example, I remember in the past a teacher told the class to write on a piece of paper 10 good things and 10 bad things about ourselves.
You know what, all 20-something people had the hardest time thinking of 10 good things. Everyone found it so much easier to find the 10 bad.
Everyone has something about them they wish they could change... Some of them we can and some we can't. Although it may hurt you to see your friends cutting themselves, family members leaving God you shouldn't take it out on yourself because we can only do so much. No matter how much advice or help we give or offer, in the end of the night it's their own choice to do whatever they do... Kind of sucks, but it's reality.
Anyways, always try to look for the good things about yourself. If we always focus on the bad, which I've done most of my life... then we only make ourselves more depressed. Do whatever you can to concentrate more on the good things. We all have some good things and people who do care for us.
Kind of random, and I doubt this goes anywhere, but I remember a quote from Kenshin that really made sense. "You can die anytime, but living takes courage."
And it's true, living takes courage, courage to stick it out and fight through all the bad. Life can never get better if we don't allow it to (or give it a chance).
Anyways, sorry if my comments were totally random and most likely incoherent... But I just want you to be happy w/ yourself. And if you don't feel you can talk to people at church, parent or friends... well you always have people here at CAA that do care; as does God. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Keep smiling.
