Valentines Day depression & Salvation question

[Bobtheduck]

Valentines Day, 2004. Today was a day invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap

This holiday is very depressing for me. Particularly right now. I am very lonely... I know it sounds immature, but I really want a girlfriend. I really want someone I can spend time with, and someone I can work towards marriage with...

The girls I think "like" me end up just being friendly girls who are friendly with everyone, and I could seek out others, but I only hang out with people who are openly friendly with me to begin with... So, I usually end up thinking the wrong thing, and thinking it until I allow known my intentions, generally ruining the friendship, or at least critically wounding it...

I've been rejected so many times, and so hard a few times, that it has almost become my routine. I'm like "Ok, Gotta see who the next one is to reject me." It's practically addicting. I wonder sometimes if I'm only drawn to the ones who aren't going to have any interest in me. There was one girl that actually liked me, but I wasn't interested in her, and frankly our lives were going in very different directions, but I wonder if i could even be attracted to someone who would be mutually attracted... Maybe I'm only attracted to girls who would never have me...

Anyhow... I'm really angry right now... I'm just tired of my cycles... I don't think I've broken a single one. Which brings me to my next point... I go through these endless cycles. Cycles of liking and rejection. Cycles of sin and guilt. Cycles of hope and despair... It never ends... I look at the qualifications for someone who is supposed to be a Christian... You'd think that someone with the Holy Spirit in their lives would be showing SOME sign of change... Everytime I think I've changed something, I find out nothing has change... I look over I Corinthians, and to be honest I've done the opposite of everthing in that list... I've been impatient, mean, envious, a bragger, arrogant... Well, It is redundant to list them all... I just look at what Jesus says about good trees bearing good fruit, and the signs that will follow a christian. I don't seem to be bearing any fruit of a Christian... I thought I at LEAST had transparency, but I've found it harder and harder to confess to the things I have done... I figure, maybe I haven't really been a christian, maybe I need to become one, but if what I didn't didn't make me a christian, then I don't know how.. I mean, confess with your mouth and believe in your heart, but maybe I don't believe in my heart... How do I know that I really believe? How do I know that I trust with no doubt?

That's where I am... That's all I have to say...

[White Raven]

Wow, I don't know what to say. But I'm sure God knows what to do. I will pray right now.

[Ashley]

Without throwing a self-pity party, which would do neither of us any good right now, suffice it to say that I understand, Bob. This year more than ever I battle with lonliness--but college does that to you. Trust me, I may not be saying much but I DO wholeheartedly understand.

As for your salvation, I've always been told "if you're worried about not having enough faith, or if you're truly saved, then you really are. The men of the world aren't aware of how urgent their decision to follow Christ is, and nor do they care. But he who has his mind concerned on his spiritual health is indeed a Christian."

I guess the most obvious (and convicting) question is well, how's your devotional life? What kind of time do you spend with Jesus one-on-one? I mean, do you know Jesus like you know (of) Michael Jordan? Or do you know him like your best friend? The only way to improve that relationship is to really, truly spend time together. Don't worry about answering these, they're just food for thought.

Before I make myself into any more of a hypocrite, I confess daily devotion is my #1 absolute texas-sized achilles heel of a weakness. It always has been. I struggle beyond words to communicate with God daily, and I know I'm the worst among us about it. But as ashamed as I am to admit that, I know that I'm a work in progress and that God is indeed working on my heart. I'm willing to make room for Him, and He is slowly pushing other things out.

I'm thinking the same thing is occuring to you, Bob. I'll be praying that God reveals to you why the distance, and what improvements you can do to your walk together. I know it's hard, but you can make it! I know you can! And perhaps this is why you haven't found your significant other; perhaps God is preparing both your hearts first.

[Arnobius]

I'm not a chapter and verse man myself, but when dealing with your cycles, remember that St Paul wrote of doing the thing he hates instead of what he should do. Everyone deals with their own temptations, and depending on their nature can be a lifelong battle.

Remember that the devil wants to distract us from the right thing, so if he can make you despair, it's good for him.

I can also relate with the girlfriend situation. I always found it easy to be friends with girls, but they never were attracted to me (once overheard a couple of female friends talking, saying that it was easy to forget I was a guy ;_; ). I think the hard thing is trying to discern if God is calling you for the solitary walk or if it just hasn't worked out yet.

May God be with you in this difficult time

[agasfas]

I go through these endless cycles. Cycles of liking and rejection. Cycles of sin and guilt. Cycles of hope and despair... It never ends...

Hey man, I can totally understand. I have the same thing happen to me each and every time. There's a girl, we become friends, I start to like her, then it ends badily. Each and everytime the same result- endless cycle. Everytime I get that spark of hope and happiness it's stomped on by another. Yep, sounds like me and many others.

I hear people preach, just be patient and the Lord will supply you with the right one. I mean, IMHO it's always easier for that person to give advice when he/she already has what you are seeking- like a gf or bf. Am I wrong? My whole life I have yet to gain any ground on relationships or form any emotional bond with girls. Never been kissed and only only been huged about 4 times by non-family members.

Recently, this past year I relealized something. What happens in the past is in the past. Although I'm a little depressed here and there, but if I continue to focus on the past then it would only make room for more depression and that does no one any good. It's easy to dispense various bible verses, but in my honest opinion doesn't always help... It's easy for someone to say, "With Jesus, you never feel lonely. He is always with you." But humans were created to be affectionate beings. We have a need to be w/ one another, to feel love (emotional, physical and spiritualy). The sad fact is that the game of Love is a really hurtful game. Everyone wishes for their love life to work out like the way they see it in on tv or in the movies.... though that hardly ever happens. People get hurt... more times then anything. I like to think, whenever we find that "special" someone, it'll make up for all the hurt we experienced in the past, but you can't let the past make you cold.

I guess the only thing I can say worth while is to continue to fight. Keep picking yourself up. Sometimes by facing hard challenges make us a bit more stronger. It helps to form and mold us to what we are- that's our character. So as much as I try, and fail, it only makes me try that much harder. Although, I've battled far too many hardships in my life, what kind of person would I be if gave up after ever hard battle? Life is a struggle, and I don't want anything just handed to me... The things we work for are more precious then the things given to us.

Also, try smiling when you feel sad. May not seem like much, but that really helps me a lot of times... That little bit of positive may really make a difference. The advice isn't much, but it may help.

And about what you said about it becoming harder to pray... I can somewhat relate to what you mean. During middle school and most of Highschool I went through that phase. I had so many things happen to me that I found it more difficult to pray. I would always ask for help and never recieve it. I asked myself, "what's the point, I never get the help I need anyways." Then I realized I shouldn't only be praying for myself, but for others. I remember hearing someone talk about the Lords Prayer (Matthew 6:9-15). Jesus didn't want us to pray only for ourselves but others as well because prayer shouldn't be selfish- and I was doing just that. God would'nt listen because I was only concerned about myself.. By opening our hearts for/to others, opens ours to God - allowing us to recieve his praise. When I learned this, it really changed my relationship with God... it helped patch up many areas which needed to be patched.

So to conclude my long, incoherent and perhaps irrelevant ramblings, I will be praying for you and the many others who may feel the same. you are not alone...
-Take Care

[Kisa]

valentines in depressing if you dont have anyone... I know that ..... its pointless too! ugggg... wont rant i promise ... ><

[Kaori]

There is little that I can add to what has already been said, but I would like to say that you are definitely not alone in this respect; many people feel the same way about Valentine's Day as you do. I sympathize with you and hope that everything works out, especially in regard to your faith.

[vash10429]

sigh why cant valentines day be was when we were in third
grade!! you know with those boxes and everyone put card in and you got candy!!! life was much simpler back in that day

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Just for the record vash you can't put http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/games/ as your homepage. Your homepage is a website YOU created, not someone else. And please try to right in proper English. Thanks and welcome!

[vash10429]

you spelled write wrong when u told me to use proper english ahjahaha

[Hitokiri]

double post

[Hitokiri]

This is called "Prayer Room" for a reason...

I know how you feel Bob. Been single all my life and though I do enjoy it, I do wish for someone to love. I will be praying for you.

I'm not single cause I have Jesus!

[wilson1112000]

First of all, Vash and Warrior, you both should know better than to fight on this thread about something so trivial! Spelling and language is not what is important here, it is the prayer request of this person that has decided to tell us something very important in there life! If you want to make fun of each other, please just IM each other about it. Don't turn this into a battle of wits!

Now that that is taken care of. Bob, I will pray for you, bra. As a participator of SAD (aka Singles Awarness Day, alias Valintines Day) I know how you feel.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Wilson, I was just being nice, I wasn't paying Vash out at all. I was just helping to correct them.
I also know how you feel Bob, I'll be praying for you.