CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

yesterday afternoon i was cutting myself again...i know i shouldn't be doing this....one thing that really scares me is that....i'm actually starting to like this feeling it gives...just not what happens afterwards...ppl have been telling me it's a demonic oppression...sometimes...i do hear voices....sometimes it's an angery girl...she gaves me a name to call her...i don't like the name...it makes me cringe...but...if you do want me to tell you...then...you can either PM me or IM me....she's the one that takes over sometimes and makes me go wild....like...a violent crazy person...when she was oppressing me on saturday night...i did things that i don't do...i was cussing...really badly....and it was at friends....i am sorry to those of you...but....after it was over...it felt like i had done that...I felt responsible for it....and sometimes...like yesterday...and like many other days...it's a little kid...a sweet little kid...almost like...a 5yr old boy...he tells me i like things...he tells me they'll make me feel better after i do them...i argue with him a lot...but...it almost feels like i'm arguing with myself...like...it seems in my head they aren't really there...that it's just me arguing with me...but...i know i would never do these things...sometimes i'm able to fight them...but....sometimes...i go into a trance like look and i do it...but...when i do it....it's like...i'm not even in my own body...like...one of them kicked me out of it and tries to kill me...i know i need to talk to someone...it's just...i'm afraid...i don't like to talk about these things...i don't like to talk about any of my problems really...my wrists are really hurting me today...so...plz pray for that...if they don't stop hurting...i won't be able to consentrate...and...i have finals all this week...besides friday...i get friday off...so...plz pray for me...i need a lot of prayer...well...i gotta get ready for school...so...l8rz.

-_-\
-_- /
chris

Yeah. Praying for you.

You know that I'm always praying for you. Always and forever.

that is some very tough stuff to deal with. demonic oppression is a very scary thing. i will pray for you.

just a thought, but could there be something that you might not know about, even if it is a very remote possibility, in your house that shouldn't be there that would be inviting demons in?

we all love you here, and are praying for you.

[INDENT]Psalms 27

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. 3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. 4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple. 5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. 6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD. 7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. 8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. 9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. 10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. 11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. 12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. 13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. [/INDENT]

Chris, I'm continuing to pray for you. Remember that you can PM me if you need to.

You're at the top of my prayer list right now. IM me again if you get the chance.

I'm still praying Chris, we all love you here at CAA!

I'll be praying for you. If you ever need to talk to somebody you can feel free to PM me. Don't think your evil for cutting yourself. You just don't know how to deal with what your going through and cutting is the easiest way to temporarily stop the pain. It's stupid but it doesn't make you a bad person. I would really recommend going to a christian that you really trust, respect, and know well and telling them about what is going on and asking for some help. God bless you and I'll try and keep you in my prayers and feel free to PM me if you ever need to vent or anything.

i did it again...i tried hard to make myself stop...i kept arguing again aloud...with the thoughts in my head...it's like they're getting at me slowly...they keep bring up my past...they keep showing me images...like...me dying with slit wrists...i get disturbed by the images...yet i still cut myself...i don't want to do this anymore...-_-i want this to stop...

just a thought, but could there be something that you might not know about, even if it is a very remote possibility, in your house that shouldn't be there that would be inviting demons in?

unless that could be triggered by movies then no.

C.t.,girl, I honestly don't know what to say. Except, I may not be able to help much, but you can always talk to me. You poor girl....I...we all love you c.t.,girl, I don't know how many times I can say that. God loves you, and he'll definately pull you through this.

Chris, are you cutting yourself when there's people at home (in your bedroom or bathroom, or somewhere private), or only when there's nothing in the house except you? Because if it's when you're alone in the house, try and hook up with a friend. Ask your parents if you can have one over to hang with, or go up town with a friend or two. You lose these battles because you don't have anybody to stop you physically and mentaly and help you when alone. Remember, prayer is definantly important, but having faith that God is helping you and trying to make you a better stronger person through this hard experiance is just as important. "In this world, we will have trouble." But if you are cutting yourself when there's others at home, scream really loudly, and a family member will probably see you with a knife to your wrist and then they'll know your situation and pray and try to help.
About telling sombody in real life your problems, I can understand why you are afraid or just don't want to tell somebody who live's by you. one of my friends told me one time that it was easier to explain a problem on the webb because nobody could do anything to him, and they wouldn't be dissapointed in him or he wouldn't be able to see the readers initial reaction. Usually when we try to tell sombody we've known for a while something, we get worried because they might think differently about you for the rest of your life, never looking at you the same way. The thing is though, everbody has their own problems, habits, and secrets that they wouldn't dare tell people in life because they don't want to know how they'll respond. There's a couple of things I know I should tell my parents, but I could lose their trust, or ground me for a gazillion years for doing. But the thing is I DON'T know how they'd act. So my advice, is either email somebody who lives by you who you trust your problem, so you needn't confront them, or tell your best friend or youth leader. That's the first step.

Anyways Chris, as many people have said, we all love you immensly, and our almighty God in heaven who created you and loves you more than anyone else could, and we would try anything in our power to help you, so, God bless, and I'll pray for you. God has a plan for you, for everybody. Try to stick with us till that day comes.

whoa! sorry gguys my computer messed up and posted 3 times ^^;;; If a mod could just delet the other extra posts that would be great ^^ sorry again

another extra post,

I will continue prays for you and helps you whatever I can.

I will pray for you. I'll pray that God will give you peace of mind and that he'll completely free you from the evil forces in your life.

I will deffinately be praying for you. And, if you ever want to talk, you can PM pr IM me. Though, I may not be much help, but I know sometimes it's just good to talk to someone.

thanks zelly...it does help...and ri ri...you're right...that's how it is with me...oh! and to answer yer Q about if i do it when ppl are/are not around...well...i do both.

i did it again...i tried hard to make myself stop...i kept arguing again aloud...with the thoughts in my head...it's like they're getting at me slowly...they keep bring up my past...they keep showing me images...like...me dying with slit wrists...i get disturbed by the images...yet i still cut myself...i don't want to do this anymore...-_-i want this to stop...

Hey CT.
First of all - I will reaffirm that we all love you heaps here. I love you too. It doesn't matter what you've done or could ever do. God loves you even more - he loves you, and NOTHING you or anyone else can do will change that.

You mentioned that often your past will be brung up. I hope this helps: because of Jesus's sacrifice you are dead to sin - you have become a new person. This means that the past has no right to haunt or affect you adversely. Jesus won the victory over it on the cross. You can claim this. I'm still praying for you, dear sister in Christ.

*hugs* I'll try and keep you in my prayers Chrissy, Jesus loves you! and I'd also like to echo about talking to a good christian you can trust, talking allways helps, even if you don't feel like it trust me, you'll be gald you did.

Oh, and whenever I've felt depressed I turn up worship music and play it all day, it helps me, so it might help you too, one of our strongest weapons against the enemy is worship, he hates it.

I know its tuff (i have have my own crud to deal with from time to time) but hay if it helps you can pm or im me! the way I have always delt with my issues is thrue writing them out and getting them out of my system that way so tryit some time se if that helps!

I'm praying for you Chris. It's been said before and I will say it again. We love you. Also...it's ok to ask for help. We all need help sometimes. Please ask someone you love for help.

Chris

I really hope you are talking to your pastor or someone like that who is an older Christian in a position to help. I know it’s hard to talk about some kinds of problems, but it’s scarier to think what would happen if you didn’t. Some things like that you just have to talk about to deal with them. Fear that keeps you from doing that hurts you and it is of the devil. God’s perfect love casts out all fear and as we talk with others about some of the problems that we face, it helps us to see them in view of God’s perfect love, love which neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from. That love covers everything, whether a multitude of hurts or a multitude of sins.

As for the voices and all, I don’t know what that is, but it is of Satan. God would not want anyone to hurt themselves like that. As a child of God, Satan’s demons can’t get to you directly, so he tries to convince God’s children to do things that will hurt them. We have more power as children of God than most of us realize. When you hear those voices, rebuke them in the name of Jesus Christ. Keep reading the Bible and praying. Keep on the full armor of God and remember you are not resisting all on your own, but with God. If you feel like you are about to cut yourself, do something to talk to someone. Many of us here as well as others love you so much. We love you too much to just let you hurt yourself too much like this.

I love you sis. Whatever happens, no one here is just going to let you go. Even more than that, neither will God.

Hugs and prayers,

Hey CT (^__^)

I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you... if you need someone to talk to or to pray with you, feel free to IM , PM or e-mail me. I understand how this goes, I have one close freind who dealt with demonic oppression, and several more (including myself) who wanted to kill themselves and harmed themselves in many ways. Each time, we worked together through God's word, prayer, and worship and got through it. (we created an accountability group, this has helped keep the 6 of us out of sin and in God's word. we meet one night a week, and we pray, worship, have a small bible study and keep each other accountable with what we each struggle with. We have also grown closer as freinds than ever before. Perhaps you have friends with whom you could have such a group?

I will continue to keep you in my prayers! ^_^

God loves you immensley. His love is beyond our comprehension. He loves us even after we mess up and do things we shouldn't. And believe me, we all do things we shouldn't. I know everyone here at CAA loves you too and cares about you. I'll certainly continue to pray. I'll be happy to talk if you ever feel like pming me or anything too.

Dead Heavenly Father,

We lift Chris before you now and ask that you would deliver her from the holds of the enemy. Lord, set her free from this bondage. Let her feel your love, and give her peace.

Satan, I forbid you and your demons access to Chris in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazereth, by the power of His shed blood, I rebuke you this instant. I command you to leave her alone. You have no place in her life. I pleed the blood of Jesus over Chris, that no weapon formed against her would prosper. I speak this in the Holy Name of Jesus.

I thank you, Lord, for Chris, and I pray that you would just set her free. Fill her with hope, and give her strength to overcome. May the presence of Your Holy Spirit surround and fill her. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Hey Babe!

You are one awesome girl! And you know I'm here anytime you need to talk. You know. Those voices are demonic lovely. *shutters* I remember being there in you spot. I'm praying harder than ever before.

Idea: when they start talking to you start praying, pray like you've never prayed be for. Rebuke them, over and over. Bind them and send them to where our LORD JESUS tells them to go. I love you so much Chris. I have faith that you will make it through! Just keep holding on to the love and mercy our Savior give us!! *huggles*

My prayer:

Our dear Heavenly Father,

I lift up my sister to you. She needs you more than ever right now. Give her the peace that she so desperatly needs. Bestow upon her you never ending love. Send angels to gaurd her from Satan's attacks against her. I know Lord that the only reason he would be attacking her is because he knows she can make a differece for you. Why else would he want to tear her down. Father, please deliver Chris from this. Help her know that you have forgiven her and the things of the past are as far away from the east as they are from the west. Let her know how much she IS loved, by all of us.

In Christ's holy and wonderful name I pray.
Amen

I hereby rebuke Satan and all demonic activities away from Chris. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I bind and cast you to where our Savior sends you. I rebuke you from all the binds that you have on her. RELEASE HER NOW!!!

I love you girl, *huggles*.

Prayer and faith are important parts of a Christian's life. They are vital, but they are not the only tools we have nor should we rely on them alone. Strength is best found in the arms of trusted friends and family. Please seek their aid. I know I speak for many here when I say we want you to be healed, to see this struggle pass from you, but it is so hard for us to help you remotely. God is faithful. There is help for you, look for it, it may not be obvious right now, maybe you have already found it. Reach out, grab it, and don't let it go.

Did you read all of these, CT? These are from people who truly care for you. I am no different than anyone here. I and members of CAA in my area will be in prayer for you. You will always have people to help you out. If you need someone to talk to, e-mail me, pm me, heck, im me! I will help you out in any way I possibly can.

My IM is wilson11120002000

self-injury is a serious psychological disorder. it could be a sign of other underlying conditions...you really need to see someone about this.