CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

i know you guys probably can't help me and that this is my own personal battle of my faith, but could you guys please pray for me and if you have any advice at all, even if you think it's useless, please give it. i've started to doubt my faith since last night and today i've come to realize that God might be out there but for me He just seems to far away to be near me. i've done a lot of things in my life that i'm not to proud of and yes i have asked for forgiveness for those things but now i don't know where i stand exactly. i mean even when i don't think God is real, i still think that there is something big out there watching every move we make. plus i guess i'm also sorta trying to figure out who i am. yes i know i'm young and won't know who i am for a long time and even when i think i know i probably don't but i'd just like to know who i am now at this moment, not who i am forever. i also have been feeling like i'm all alone, not physically but spiritually. this is the worst type of loneliness i've ever felt in my life so far and probably will be, unless i go to hell, which i hope i don't, which is why i ask you guys to pray for me cuz i don't wanna doubt but i just can't help it. i don't know how to stand for him. i get scared of that. cuz i wanna be strong like a few of you have told me i am but i've never noticed how i am. i never thought of me as strong or brave or courageous or awesome...well i know i'm not awesome, but maybe funny...sometimes. anywho i need prayer, thanks.

-chris-

Okay, Cris. Let's cover all the bases.

In the bible we all told that "If we confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God raised him from the dead," then we will be saved. Have you ever done that? Have you ever confessed to God that you are a sinner ("For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God) and asked Jesus to cover your trangressions in his blood? ("Without the shedding of blood there can be no remission for sins).

If you've done all that--- then you are saved. Forever and always. Jesus gives us te reassurance that he will never leave us, and we're also told in the scriptures "That neither height nor depth, nor angels nor demons," or pretty much anything else can seperate us from Jesus. Nothing, Chris. If an axe murder confesses his sins, he can live forever in heaven. If a drug addict confesses and turns to God, he can have forgiveness. And if the same thing goes for you Cris.

The devil is beating you over the head with your past. He does it because he knows it works. But don't you ever confuse that demon at your elbows voice with the voice of your loving Savior. A very wise man once told me "You can know the difference between the voice in God with this basic rule: The Devil will attack you with the past that God forgave and forgot. He will attack you as a person (you're stupid, fat, ect). God's voice will involve specific behavior that you can change (lying, stealing, ect)." I really thought that was somewhat profound. Not that no one's ever realized it, but I'd never thought of it in those terms. It's helped me considerably.

We all have doubts. All of us. I'll pray for you what I pray for myself so commonly "I believe Lord, but help my unbelief." Plus, I don't know about you, but I often confuse disbelief with a lack of the "feeling" of God. I don't have that warm fuzzy and I say "ACK! I don't believe in GOD!!" Well, if you're feeling anything like that, just realize that God isn't all about warm fuzzies. Faith is being sure of the things you can't see. Even when you can't feel the presence, faith is knowing it's there none the less. That is the core of Christianity.

We love you Cris, and I wil be praying for you. If you have any further thoughts, post here, or pm me. I want to help you in whatever way I can. You're so wonderful, special, and loved. You really are.

As always, you are in my prayers and thoughts. You'll get through this, Chris. Everyone experiences this at some point or another, so don't beat yourself up about it.

*hugs* I"ll pray for you.

i know it's not about warm fuzzies. it's like i use to be so sure that He was there, that he was basically sitting on me! but now i'm not sure if He is.

yes i've asked all those things. i even prayed today that He would help me in my struggle with my faith but then i started to think that why would he listen to a sinner and a person who isn't even sure if He's there at all! then i started to not care about anything, i started to feel empty.

there's this one song i like that the worship team sings on chapel days. it's called Empty Me. it sorta goes like this...
_________________

holy fire
burn away
my desire
for anything
that is not of you
but is of me
i want more of you
and less of me

empty me
(won't you empty me)
and fill me
with you(with you)
___________________

i want God to do this but it just feels like He won't...or maybe He's wanting me to realize something.

i thank you those who posted here, and those who looked but didn't post, and prayed for me. i guess you can say that i just rededicated my life to Christ. i was listening to the radio online, and it was kwave, and they were talking about what was going on with me. it hit me so much and it made me think of what you said mangafanatic! "If you've done all that--- then you are saved. Forever and always. Jesus gives us te reassurance that he will never leave us..." i love God so much now and i never wanna leave Him again. THANK YOU GOD!

Most of us at one time or another has doubted. Why do bad things happen? Well because we all are sinners. Satan has a way of getting to people through depression and such. He tries what he can to decieve the children of God. We all have to face our demons. I've remember talking to another friend of mine asking me, why does God let some people live a good life and others a bad one, does he show favoritism?

Acts 10:34 Then Peter began to speak: "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism

The truth is because satan has control over this physical world he has a great impact on misleading. I remember a few years ago I was in doubt. I "knew" he existed but I questioned his and my relationship w/ each other. Then one day I went to Mt. Bonnel in austin. It's what I would call austin's highland. From there I could look over all of austin. On one side I could see the city, the other side was river and trees. It's quite the site. Anyways, my point being is that when I found my self looking over this area I felt the presence of the Lord. Knowing that some all-powerful God created this. Thinking, if he can create this surely he is watching over me. Something just clicked. I believe it was God's way of me breaking down my emotional wall and rebuilding me. For me it took some inter searching and the use of nature to understand the extent of God's power. It's hard to question him once you see that the way I did. It was just beautiful.

I'm not sure if that helped at all but hopefull it may help. Sometimes we just need to do some inner searching. For me, I had to be broke down and rebuilt according to the way God wanted me to. Because unless we are willing to give our all, he can't fullfill our needs the way we need.

I will pray for you C.T. Girl. I hope you feel better soon.

thanks! i do feel better actually! i'm in quite a happy mood! ^_^d

ill pray for you ct girl

c.t.,girl wrote:i thank you those who posted here, and those who looked but didn't post, and prayed for me. i guess you can say that i just rededicated my life to Christ. i was listening to the radio online, and it was kwave, and they were talking about what was going on with me. it hit me so much and it made me think of what you said mangafanatic! "If you've done all that--- then you are saved. Forever and always. Jesus gives us te reassurance that he will never leave us..." i love God so much now and i never wanna leave Him again. THANK YOU GOD!

I'm so glad to hear that! Yay for God! You've made the right decision, and God will bless you for that.

That's great to hear, Chris! God bless ya!

I sorry to say this, c.t., but you are normal. It isn't unusual or even unhealthy to wonder about these things. It seems to happen a lot in teenagers, but the phenomenon is not unique to your age bracket. The cure to your problem is perseverance. And knowledge.

The two solutions to your problem are perseverance and knowledge. And faith.

The three, well what you need to do is learn. What do you really believe? What do you really know? For most people, these are not simple questions with simple answers. You must discover them on your own, but I will tell you this: you will not learn the answers to these questions by just thinking about them and pining over them. Read the Bible. What do the words mean? Are they the truth? Look around you - the answer is not within yourself. You must look outside of yourself to know the truth. And don’t be fooled by window dressings or nice packages.

Question. Struggle. Fight, bite, claw your way, but never give up. I know where the answer lies, but if you are not sure, look elsewhere. Look at Islam or Wicca. I'm not afraid of those things - if you look with an open mind and accept only the truth and the whole truth, you will find your answers in Christ. The truth is not in those other things, but if you need to learn that for yourself, then do so.

I'll pray that God continues to bring you closer to Him and grow you in the faith, Chris. We just had a sermon at church about skepticism and questioning, and how if we approach it wanting to find the answers and God's Truth, then it can bring us closer to God in the long run, though we might have to go through some trials first. That gave me a boost, because I deal with skepticism a lot, hope it helps you too.

^_^ thanks you guys! i need lots of prayers. i wanna stay strong for Him.