uh yea...i could explain that but i'm so tired and stressed and disturbed. basically I just feel that all my thoughts are evil right now. i have a great relationship with sin and with just about everything i'd left behind in the past. i keep thinking these things will help but no, i just feel more screwed up. i think my faith has rotted away... disturbing..
anyways...i really dont know if this is just a doubt-inspired valley or a real spiritual issue that's been lurking, but i feel pretty screwed up. and in some twisted way i love that....i want to be like F-you to the world and be angry and just..hate. but i can regonize the evil in that too.
yea...not sure what i mean. too tired. but i could use a bit of prayer for me to allow God to recapture my thoughts and somehow(if it's possible) rebuild my foundation of trust and hope in Him. i'm just not sure i'm willling to let it happen. but it needs to happen. thanks..
feeling evil...
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feeling evil...
Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.
~~~~~~
At the heart of mature [color=DarkOrchid]femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nuture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships.
At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationships.[/color]
~~~~
Disclaimer: The comments of Lara, both on forum and chat, are random, unusual, and often sarcastic. Read with a pillar of salt. Thanks.
~~~~~~
At the heart of mature [color=DarkOrchid]femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nuture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships.
At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationships.[/color]
~~~~
Disclaimer: The comments of Lara, both on forum and chat, are random, unusual, and often sarcastic. Read with a pillar of salt. Thanks.
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FadedOne - Posts: 881
- Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 1:13 pm
- Location: Ohio/Virginia
This may sound like a strange question, but do you have anything in your house like a buddha, or anything that has a strange symbol on it? This sounds like a serious problem, and it wouldn't hurt to consider the possibility that it is a spiritual attack.
I strongly recommend that you pray the covering and cleansing of Jesus' blood over your life and your household... ask God to point out anything that isn't honouring to Him, or anything that could possibly be a foothold for Satan to influence your life with. This could include music, clothes, jewelry, even anime figurines.
Anyway, I'll be praying for you
I strongly recommend that you pray the covering and cleansing of Jesus' blood over your life and your household... ask God to point out anything that isn't honouring to Him, or anything that could possibly be a foothold for Satan to influence your life with. This could include music, clothes, jewelry, even anime figurines.
Anyway, I'll be praying for you
- Hephzibah
- Posts: 1494
- Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2004 9:00 am
- Location: Australia
You sound like a "friend" of mine. Hating everything, feeling pleased about being "screwed up". Well, these are (as I'm sure you know) the wrong way to look at things. Pray to God, ask Him to restore your faith in Him. Read your Bible more. And, if you need anyone to support you after doing that, I'm just a PM away.
I'll pray that you'll realize what's right. Good luck in your journey. Please, don't lose the fight!!
I'll pray that you'll realize what's right. Good luck in your journey. Please, don't lose the fight!!
If you ever need someone to talk to, or to pray for you, or to disciple you, please don't hesitate to PM me.
Wow... I haven't been on here in like 2 years o_O
Wow... I haven't been on here in like 2 years o_O
@)}~`,~ Carry This Rose In Your Sig, As Thanks, To All The CAA Moderators.
My rose is silver, instead of red!
My rose is silver, instead of red!
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Yokuo - Posts: 380
- Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2005 10:09 am
- Location: Illinois
FadedOne wrote:uh yea...i could explain that but i'm so tired and stressed and disturbed. basically I just feel that all my thoughts are evil right now. i have a great relationship with sin and with just about everything i'd left behind in the past. i keep thinking these things will help but no, i just feel more screwed up. i think my faith has rotted away... disturbing..
anyways...i really dont know if this is just a doubt-inspired valley or a real spiritual issue that's been lurking, but i feel pretty screwed up. and in some twisted way i love that....i want to be like F-you to the world and be angry and just..hate. but i can regonize the evil in that too.
You mostly sound exhausted and weary from life's challenges. I have done the same whenever life becomes too overwhelming and everything around me was plain disappointing. Evil plays dirty and strikes you when you're i) tired ii) alone iii) hungry
How is your quiet time and prayer life? If you're tired and stressed, you need to seriously consider taking some time to rest and focus on God. I'm not saying that you did anything wrong, I'm just trying to steer you towards whatever gave me refreshment and strength to carry on.
I'll pray for you for a renewal in faith. Stay strong, the Lord is with you. \(^^)/
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Mave - Posts: 3662
- Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2003 9:00 am
You basically summed up how I've been feeling, I'd suggest praying that god would reveal what the problem is.
I know this might seem like a strange question, but do you feel your thoughts in general are evil? Or are there allot of specific thoughts? Are they very distressing? And do you feel like you can't control them?
I know this might seem like a strange question, but do you feel your thoughts in general are evil? Or are there allot of specific thoughts? Are they very distressing? And do you feel like you can't control them?
My Website [online comic]
Do you find your self worried alot of the time about things that don't always make sense?
Are you experiencing any of these?
• Persistent feelings of sadness, irritability or anxiety
• Overreaction to irritations
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed,
• Sleep too much, or sleep too little
• Unexpected loss or gain of weight
• Tiredness or restlessness
• Slowed movement, thought and/or speech
• Guilt, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness
• Inability to concentrate and poor memory
• Loss of motivation
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Suicidal thoughts and/or behavior
• Withdrawal from relationships, anti-social behavior
• Physical aches and pains that seem to have no other cause
If you have a few of the symptoms on this list, you may be suffering from a form of clinical depression there are many sites that offer advice and help.
Do you find your self worried alot of the time about things that don't always make sense?
Are you experiencing any of these?
• Persistent feelings of sadness, irritability or anxiety
• Overreaction to irritations
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed,
• Sleep too much, or sleep too little
• Unexpected loss or gain of weight
• Tiredness or restlessness
• Slowed movement, thought and/or speech
• Guilt, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness
• Inability to concentrate and poor memory
• Loss of motivation
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Suicidal thoughts and/or behavior
• Withdrawal from relationships, anti-social behavior
• Physical aches and pains that seem to have no other cause
If you have a few of the symptoms on this list, you may be suffering from a form of clinical depression there are many sites that offer advice and help.
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mai - Posts: 432
- Joined: Sat May 01, 2004 9:32 am
- Location: Somewhere between myself and outer space
I'm praying for you, Lara. I agree with Mave, this probably has a good bit to do with stress, but Talama also has a good point.Take a deep breath and make sure that you still have time for quiet time and prayer. You just started college, lovely, so it's going to be a little bit overwhelming. You're in my prayers. *hugs*
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dragonshimmer - Posts: 1422
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:02 am
- Location: Hillbilly hickville for now.
Thanks for the prayers guys...
this whole last week has been kind of disturbing. i'm not homesick but i miss random things, i got myseriously sick for a couple days there, plus i had to deal with all these disturbing swirling thoughts that wouldn't let up. i dunno..they're still there, but they're easier to ignore when i'm less tired and such.
it's true my faith is kinda shot. it's been shot for awhile.. i know that. it's hard for me to believe sometimes in anything but what's seen. this whole Christianity thing could be the greatest ruse ever. They get you a little emotional, a little guilty over this thing called sin, and next thing you know you need a God to cure the guilt. that's what my mind tells me.
however no matter how many screwed up things i try i can't seem to heal the emotional hurt and the disappointment with myself and life. i guess there isn't any other cure. i want to believe in God, trust me. and i do..usually. but not with enough faith to move any mountains...hills...little piles of gravel...sand. yea you know what i mean.
*shrug* it's just been a weird week. hopefully this one will have more answers and more joy. it's started out right. went to campus church and listened to a message that had me in tears a few times. preaching on 1 Peter 5:8-9
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.--NIV
and yea...there's alot of lies one can be fed that weigh down to the point of breaking. to the point of being angry with God and life. hopefully prayer for ability to see through the lies will help.
anyway yeah....rambling. just mostly wanted to say i appreciate the care and prayers and i know theyll help. and i hope you guys have a blessed week.
this whole last week has been kind of disturbing. i'm not homesick but i miss random things, i got myseriously sick for a couple days there, plus i had to deal with all these disturbing swirling thoughts that wouldn't let up. i dunno..they're still there, but they're easier to ignore when i'm less tired and such.
it's true my faith is kinda shot. it's been shot for awhile.. i know that. it's hard for me to believe sometimes in anything but what's seen. this whole Christianity thing could be the greatest ruse ever. They get you a little emotional, a little guilty over this thing called sin, and next thing you know you need a God to cure the guilt. that's what my mind tells me.
however no matter how many screwed up things i try i can't seem to heal the emotional hurt and the disappointment with myself and life. i guess there isn't any other cure. i want to believe in God, trust me. and i do..usually. but not with enough faith to move any mountains...hills...little piles of gravel...sand. yea you know what i mean.
*shrug* it's just been a weird week. hopefully this one will have more answers and more joy. it's started out right. went to campus church and listened to a message that had me in tears a few times. preaching on 1 Peter 5:8-9
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.--NIV
and yea...there's alot of lies one can be fed that weigh down to the point of breaking. to the point of being angry with God and life. hopefully prayer for ability to see through the lies will help.
anyway yeah....rambling. just mostly wanted to say i appreciate the care and prayers and i know theyll help. and i hope you guys have a blessed week.
Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.
~~~~~~
At the heart of mature [color=DarkOrchid]femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nuture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships.
At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationships.[/color]
~~~~
Disclaimer: The comments of Lara, both on forum and chat, are random, unusual, and often sarcastic. Read with a pillar of salt. Thanks.
~~~~~~
At the heart of mature [color=DarkOrchid]femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nuture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships.
At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationships.[/color]
~~~~
Disclaimer: The comments of Lara, both on forum and chat, are random, unusual, and often sarcastic. Read with a pillar of salt. Thanks.
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FadedOne - Posts: 881
- Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 1:13 pm
- Location: Ohio/Virginia
Good luck out there!
If you ever need someone to talk to, or to pray for you, or to disciple you, please don't hesitate to PM me.
Wow... I haven't been on here in like 2 years o_O
Wow... I haven't been on here in like 2 years o_O
@)}~`,~ Carry This Rose In Your Sig, As Thanks, To All The CAA Moderators.
My rose is silver, instead of red!
My rose is silver, instead of red!
-
Yokuo - Posts: 380
- Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2005 10:09 am
- Location: Illinois
Lifting you. I think many of us go through periods of, if not doubt, at least the temptation to doubt. But it sounds like you're getting a handle on what's going on, that it is the devil trying to seek whom he may devour, and that knowing you need to resist him. And that's a big step toward getting victory.
It's a temptation (I know for me, at least) to put our feelings ahead of the Word of God, when we're feeling inadequate or like we've fallen. But we need to be really grounded and rooted in the Word, knowing what It says about who we are as children of God, and standing in that.
Anyway, hope this is of some encouragement. Lifting you up.
It's a temptation (I know for me, at least) to put our feelings ahead of the Word of God, when we're feeling inadequate or like we've fallen. But we need to be really grounded and rooted in the Word, knowing what It says about who we are as children of God, and standing in that.
Anyway, hope this is of some encouragement. Lifting you up.
Theme Scripture: Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. (Galatians 5:1)
And a verse for all us single folks: Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas? (1 Corinthians 9:5)
Looking for a GOOD music mix? Check out these stations:
Grey FM Heartland -- a mix of Country and Contemporary Christian music (Listen Now!)
Grey FM Downtown -- a mix of mainstream and Christian pop and rock music (Listen Now!)
More real stuff...
And a verse for all us single folks: Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas? (1 Corinthians 9:5)
Looking for a GOOD music mix? Check out these stations:
Grey FM Heartland -- a mix of Country and Contemporary Christian music (Listen Now!)
Grey FM Downtown -- a mix of mainstream and Christian pop and rock music (Listen Now!)
More real stuff...
-
freerock1 - Posts: 841
- Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 10:14 pm
- Location: In your computer speakers, if you're listening to ChargeRadio.com
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