A broken heart and a tear-streamed face

[nightblade]

I haven't posted here in forever, kinda funny where you run to, and where you don't run to when you are sent astray.

So, I do have a xanga (on3_w1ng3d_4ng3l) but I need more than that right now, I need advice, reassurance, anything.

Basically my ex-girlfriend and I, after seven months of the best relationship I've been a part of, broke up on rather bad terms. Tears were cried and poems were written (most of the tears were hers, the poems mine), and I was "unaffected by it" for the most part.

But now, one of my closer Youth Group friends, Adam, started dating Anna.

Tonight I had a really great date with Adam! He's such a cool guy. *squeals!* We're already planning to go out again.

That's a portion basically, but its the part that makes me feel the following ways.

-Nostalgia
-My stomach feels empty, even after a full meal at Denny's
-Kinda like you get stabbed in the gut, and then someone twists the blade

And for some reason, the last thing I want to do is cry out to Jesus in my own weakness. For some reason, the only thing that I need I don't want to turn to, its the last thing I want to turn to.

And as the tears stream down my face, I can only ask for your advice, your reassurance, your prayers. God answers all prayers, and prayer works. And he tells us that in our greatest weakness, we are made strong by him.

And I keep trying to escape, through whatever I can find, whether it be this board, anime, manga, tv, or homework or anything. Please pray that I can get through this as painlessly as possible, please be there if you can for a broken man, for someone who is simply falling down on his knees in his own emotional and mental weakness.

[Riku777]

well nightblade... i think u should follow your own signature. u avoid god cause u know it's the right thing to do to go to him... and u know he'll help but yet u still avoid him? maybe you are afraid to surrender to him cause ur afraid of his answers... or you hope everything will be fine in a day or two if you try and fix things ur self... or if u just bury ur problems deeper and deeper in a mask that u've glued to ur face so no one can see ur sorrow? we... or most of sometimes get into a situation like that... but sooner or later the answer is god. but we can't make a decission for u... we can only write and hope you listen, and we can only pray and wait for God's answers... anyways... i hope u put some thought into this and u urself pray. good luck nightblade

[Jaltus-bot]

I don't really know what to say here. That must be very hard. I hope that something I say here might in some way comfort you. As much as you may hurt right now, you will heal one day. Do keep turning to God and giving that suffering to Him, he mends all hearts. Tritely but truly, all things do work for the good of those who love the Lord and He does have something better in mind for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
God bless you.

If you really need comfort, I like this part of Revolation 21 where it talks about how God will wipe away every tear and there will be more sorrow or hurt and old things will have passed away.

[Swordguy]

James 5
7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

this is the best advice i can give, i will be praying

[ClosetOtaku]

And as the tears stream down my face, I can only ask for your advice, your reassurance, your prayers. God answers all prayers, and prayer works. And he tells us that in our greatest weakness, we are made strong by him.

First: Others have recommended prayer and have you in their prayers, so enough said about that.

Advice: I can't be sure from your message, but it seems like you and Anna are still communicating. If so, you need to put some distance between yourself and her. Not "punishment" or anything like that mind you, but you will not heal if you keep reopening the wound. You need emotional (and physical) distance to heal, and you must insist on it. Only time will tell if you will be able to face her again as nothing more than a friend. Maybe, maybe not.

More advice: Extend your arms full length, palms facing inward. This is the limit of what you can, through your actions, directly control. Think about why your relationship didn't work, and how you contributed to that. Learn from it. Take no drastic action. Draw no hasty conclusions. You will be better for it in the long run.

Reassurance: If indeed this was a good relationship, prepare yourself for a roller coaster ride. Ups, downs, sideways (it is accurately described as "sad, mad, glad" for good reason). In time, you will get better, and the bumps will become less noticeable. Guaranteed. Take it to God regularly, both during your ups and your downs.

Prayers: You got 'em.

[nightblade]

Thank you all so much. It's very relieving to know I can back here and be supported by all of you. Thank you for your advice and your verses and your reassurances, now I'll just have to get myself through my school day (Thank goodness, we don't attend the same school *sweatdrop*)

[Rogie]

I'll pray for you, nightblade.

[Staci]

I will pray for you. And you can always return to the CAA for good, heartly, and Godly advice! *hugs* Everyone comes and goes, here, even those who you think post all the time. So please, don't worry about that. ^_^