About a girl...

[Nerevarine]

Well, there's this girl I really like. We have a lot of things in common (she's also an anime fan), and I can talk to her for hours without getting bored. There's only one problem: she's not a Christian. I've talked to her a bit about God, but it doesn't seem to help at all. This is bothering me greatly, and I've lost a lot of sleep thinking about it u_u

Can anyone give me some advice as to what I should do about this situation? And prayer would be very much appreciated.

Thanks you guys in advance ^-^

[shooraijin]

I wouldn't date her, for one thing. Equally yoked exists for a reason, and missionary dating inevitably ends up with a lot of hurt feelings.

More to the point, however, your description doesn't sound like she's all that interested in you. I don't mean to be harsh, but I suspect this is not reciprocated.

[Nerevarine]

Thanks for the quick reply ^-^

Honestly, I care more about her salvation than actually dating her, though it would be nice if she would accept Jesus Christ as her personal savior.

[shooraijin]

I see. When you say you've talked to her about God, how exactly did you broach the subject? What did you say?

[Nerevarine]

The very basics. I didn't want to say too much, because I didn't want to seem like I was trying to force anything on her. I want her to make her own decision, of course.

What I'm asking is: What can I say to her to help her see the light? I pray every night about it, and so far I haven't done any good.

[shooraijin]

There might not be anything, at least right now, that might change her mind (there might not be anything ever that does so, for that matter). One thing we need to remember is that ultimately it's the Holy Spirit responsible for doing the conversion; there is no magic in what we're saying. You delivered a basic message and the Holy Spirit does its business. If she's not ready to receive it, sometimes backing off is the most appropriate way to let it sink in.

I wouldn't stop praying about it, of course.

[Peanut]

[quote="shooraijin (post: 1318639)"]There might not be anything, at least right now, that might change her mind (there might not be anything ever that does so, for that matter). One thing we need to remember is that ultimately it's the Holy Spirit responsible for doing the conversion]

I echo these statements. Your goal shouldn't be to convert her, your goal should be to demonstrate Christ's love for the world to her with both your actions and your words and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Prayer is a very good thing to do, however you have to be willing to keep doing it. It may take a while for God to move in her life so don't get discouraged and stop praying if she isn't a Christian tommorrow. Just keep at it and have faith in God.

[Nerevarine]

Thank you guys a lot. No, I'll never lose faith, and I'll continue praying.

Again, thanks, this has helped me a lot.

[Destroyer2000]

I'll be praying with you; I'm going through something similar (no romantic interest) with a friend of mine who has turned to magic.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

This is tricky. You can try to create a stronger friendship with her and use that as an opportunity to witness to her... but that may also strengthen your feelings for her. It also may weaken them, so who knows.

Admitting your feelings to her may not be a good option in the short run.

[Nerevarine]

@Destroyer2000: Yeah, we can kinda relate to one another on this subject. I'll pray for your friend as well as mine ^-^

@Mr. SmartyPants: I've taken all of that into consideration. I think I'll just continue to be a friend to her and teach her what I know, and let God do the rest, whatever He chooses.

And thanks again, guys, I feel a whole lot better ^-^

[ADXC]

Well, you need to become one of her best friends for this to work. If you intend to save her in a short time, don't count on it. All you can do is give her the message and hope that the Holy Spirit inside her quickens her to become a christian. You should then leave subtle things around in conversations that will intrigue her to ask more questions. It's good that you haven't been overbearing to her about this. Most definitely everybody is turned off by being given too much information at once. You need to take this in steps. It may take months or years, but this way you may be able to save her.

[Veru]

there is a girl that ive known for 4 years we tryed a relation ship and she sudenly exsplodes and tells me to roll over and die iv been through so much and she new her snd her sister love emo stuf and befrend any 1 with problems without her i felt i couldnt go on but ive let go but now im alown (but with God)

[Reon]

Well I should just go eat breakfast and go to work... but lol.

Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest" March 23
DECREASING FOR HIS PURPOSE
"He must increase, but I must decrease." Jn 3:30

If you become a necessity to someone else's life, you are out of God's will. As a servant, your primary responsibility is to be a "friend of the bridgegroom" (Jn 3:29). When you see a person who is close to grasping the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been used in the right direction. And when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don't try to prevent it, but pray this his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger, until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ. Over and over again, we try to be amateur providences in someone's life. We are indeed amateurs, coming in and actually preventing God's will and saying "This person should not have to experience this difficulty." Instead of being friends of the Bridegroom, our sympathy gets in the way. One day that person will say to us, "You are a thief; you stole my desire to follow Jesus, and because of you I lost sight of Him."

Beware of rejoicing with someone over the wrong thing, but always look to rejoice over the right thing "...the friend of the bridegroom ... rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease" (Jn 3:29-30). This was spoken with joy, not with sadness - at last they were to see the Bridegroom! And John said this was his joy. It represents a stepping aside, an absolute removal of the servant, never to be thought of again.

Listen intently with your entire being until you hear the Bridegroom's voice in the life of another person. And never give any thought to what devastation, difficulties, or sickness it will bring. Just rejoice with godly excitement that His voice has been heard. You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it. (see Mt 10:34).

MAINTAINING THE PROPER RELATIONSHIP - March 25
"... the friend of the bridgegroom ..." Jn 3:29

The following day "March 25" was a great follow up to this message. Send me a private message if you want me to post it if the above was helpful. If you want to hear a part of my testimony regarding these two devotionals - lemme know.

Btw bud, Matt 6:13 (KJV) "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen." To me this verse says its better to avoid temptation, just like the verse FLEE FROM EVIL or verses talking about staying far from it. Our hearts are naturally evil, so if your deciding to go about this you need to be DEPENDING on God. Best of luck - <3 Time for work!

[Nerevarine]

@ADXC: Thanks for the advice. I'll keep that in mind.

@Veru: It's good you haven't lost faith. I'll be praying for you, too ^-^

@Reon: Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to post this. I had to read it three or four times, but I understand it now.

[shooraijin]

Well, you need to become one of her best friends for this to work.

Yes and no. Yes, you would need to be a trusted friend for this to sink in, but there are a lot of suspicious non-believers who will think that your being friends with them is just to "notch another soul." I think it's very important to reiterate that the friendship is not dependent on her accepting Christ (it would be sad if she did not, but the friendship is not conditional) -- we all know that this is true, but some people may not see it that way unless suitably prompted and demonstrated to.

[Reon]

MAINTAINING THE PROPER RELATIONSHIP - March 25
"... the friend of the bridgegroom ..." Jn 3:29

ILL TOSS THIS UP IN 2 DAYS (unless I have time when I get off work tomorrow night - and don't worry about it - Its my choice to type any of this - I thoroughly enjoy it <plus its good practice typing>)

[Nerevarine]

Thanks, Reon, I'll be waiting ^-^

[Veru]

well im still waiting on a reply (not being rude)

[Lady Kenshin]

well im still waiting on a reply (not being rude)

Well, Veru... as I wrote at you and another member in another thread... the sun WILL come out sooner or later. All you have to do is wait. God knows you need friends, and He will bring them to you; it's up to you to do the right thing with them once they arrive. I know things are very hard for you right now, and to be honest, they were very hard for me at your age, but I am out of high school now and here to tell you that things DO get better. God will NOT fail you. You seem like a really sweet kid, albeit a little lonely. Your position WILL improve.

Praying for you!

@Nerevarine: It's funny, I was in this same position with a guy earlier this year, and it hurt a lot. In my case, we just kind of grew apart. I pray for you.

[Veru]

XD thanks agin people do care =)

[LadyRushia]

well im still waiting on a reply (not being rude)

Veru, you can make your own thread and ask for prayer instead of coming into someone else's thread and taking the attention away from the issue at hand, even though your issue is somewhat similar.

Moving on, I feel like I'd be repeating what everyone else already said if I shared my thoughts, but I'll share them anyway. Being friends with the person and not seeing them as something to fix is a healthy way to start a healthy relationship.

[animechica]

I think actions speak louder than words.
If you really act like Jesus commanded, she should eventually notice that you're different from the majority of teenage boys out there. That in itself is a major testimony. It would probably have a more powerful impact than any text-based witnessing effort simply because anyone can SAY the right things, but doing them is the key. And it doesn't help that there are multitudes of Christians online who like to tell people "I feel sry 4 u cuz u will burn in hell!!1" or something to that nature.

[Veru]

my bad O.O

[Reon]

@ Veru - You have an awesome looking avatar =o


I apologize for the long delay in posting the second part. Within the two days I was taking time before I posted, my laptop power cord fried itself. Luckily the companies sending me another one and in the meantime have used a friend's laptop and set up a spare computer. Hopefully everyones advice was very helpful, here is part 2 of the devotion I started above.

MAINTAINING THE PROPER RELATIONSHIP - March 25
"... the friend of the bridgegroom ..." Jn 3:29

Goodness and purity should never be traits that draw attention to themselves, but should simply be magnets that draw people to Jesus Christ. If my holiness is not drawing others to Him, it is not the right kind of holiness; it is only an influence which awakens undue emotions and evil desires in people and diverts them from heading in the right direction. A person who is a beautiful saint can be a hindrance in leading people to the Lord by presenting only what Christ has done for him, instead of presenting Jesus Christ Himself. Others will be left with this thought - "What a fine person that man is!" That is not being a true "friend of the bridegroom" - I am increasing all the time; He is not.

To maintain this friendship and faithfulness to the Bridegroom, we have to be more careful to have the moral and vital relationship to Him above everything else, including obedience. Sometimes there is nothing to obey and our only task is to maintain a vital connection with Jesus Christ, seeing that nothing interferes with it. Only occasionally is it a matter of obedience. At those times when a crisis arises, we have to find out what God's will is. Yet most of our life is not spent in trying to be consciously obedient, but in maintaining this relationship - being the "friend of the bridegroom." Christian work can actually be a means of diverting a person's focus away from Jesus Christ. Instead of being friends "of the bridegroom," we may become amateur providences of God to someone else, working against Him while we use His weapons.

(Oswald Chamber's Devotional "My Utmost for His Highest")