Struggling Hard with Worry

[Sheenar]

God has really been teaching me lately about loving people--especially those who grate on my nerves. Today at work I had another "experience" with the one supervisor --but God reminded me that I'm to love her --but man, it's hard. It's easy to love the people who are nice to you--but hard to love those who are not.
Gosh, I graduate in 11 months --as exciting as that is, it's making me nervous as hell. School is all I've known for the past 18 years.
I'm nervous about finding a job --I have to start applying in the fall (in about 3-4 months). I'm nervous about being able to get to said job --as I have no car and cannot afford one until I work at the job awhile.
I have no direction --God has not shown me yet what I'm to do next --and it's really hard to be patient and wait for an answer ---I want one now! XD
I'm really struggling to trust God right now. I mean, He has never let me down before --I've always had a roof over my head, food, a church family, etc. I don't know why I still keep doubting. God already knows the future and He is in control --so why don't I trust Him?
Everything is just so uncertain right now. What will happen to me? What will happen to Pebbles? Will we have a place to go? I don't have a home anymore. They're going to kick me out of my dorm the day I graduate. I guess I'll just start saving up some money to put a deposit on an apartment just in case.
I'm struggling with trying to decide whether to invite my mom or not. I don't think I can handle seeing/talking to her yet--I think I'd break down. I don't want her to come. I'd like my dad to come, but I don't even know where he is.

I talked to one of my church moms over lunch yesterday --and she told me what I already knew--but I needed to be reminded:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." --Philippians 4:6-7

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

Man, those verses are so easy to know, but so hard to really practice. I just have to keep reminding myself that God is in control and that worrying will not get me anything but stress headaches.

Please pray for me. Pray also for Pebbles --her left nostril is really swollen --I don't know why. We're going to the vet tomorrow for her blood work and he's going to look at it. She's acting normally, but it still worries me.

I don't know why (It's probably not trusting God), but I keep envisioning something terrible happening to her--like I'm afraid she'll stop breathing or get cancer or get hit by a car while we're crossing the street (we almost get run over on an almost daily basis --crazy college students rolling through stop signs or roaring down the road...). She's such a great gift --I keep expecting her to be taken away from me. I've already lost so much. Please pray that this will stop--that I'll trust God to take care of her too --so she can take care of me.

[NekoChan_C]

what you're going through is something that I think we all go through now and then... I go through it four or five times a day! But you are right, God is faithful... and He *won't* let you down. Just keep reminding yourself that God is faithful and just and He has a plan for your life...
And sometimes, He doesn't show us the whole path, but only the next step, and only when it's time to take it.
God bless, and you're in my prayers!
Jess

[SailorDove]

I agree in prayer with you both. God, please protect both Sheenar & Pebbles. And provide for their future together. And let the vet visit go well for little Pebbles. Also, please comfort and encourage Sheenar as she endures everything she's been going though.

Thank you for all you've done for them both and bringing them together.
In Jesus's name we pray.

Amen.

[Kunoichi]

Hey sis

Praying for you!

Advice would probably not do a lot but I want you to be encouraged. If you worry, bring it before the Lord and do not fear to speak it to Him. However, do not let the worry dwell in your heart as it will only fester and grow *hugs

Father,

I pray to you for Pebbles and my sis Sheenar. Please watch over Pebbles and heal her and Lord help Sheenar in her worry. She knows in her heart that you control all things but Lord please give her peace along with her knowledge. Thankyou for all that you do.

In Jesus Name

Amen

[Prince Asbel]

Poor Sheenar. So many things at once... Listen, I don't know if I can speak for you, but trusting God was a psychological problem for me that I was able to get rid of only over time and thinking of things like bible verses. Maybe it's just going harder for you because bad things seem to keep happening. That may be it, I don't know, but hopefully in the next 3-4 months that may do the trick.

You're always in my prayers, okay? So is Pebbles.

[Sheenar]

Update: Just got back from the vet. Pebbles is fine --she just has a small lesion on her nose --the vet gave me some cream to put on it. She was also very good during her blood draw.
I still don't have definite direction, but I talked to a friend this morning (she gave us a ride to the vet) and she suggested trying to find a job in a big city where there's good public transportation or where I can live close enough to walk to work. For some reason, I really want to go back to Pennsylvania (where I got Pebbles from) --maybe I could find a job in Philadelphia --they have a great train/transport system. I just wonder how well I'll adjust to living in a big city after living in smallish towns/cities my whole life (the biggest town --the one I live in now --has 35,000 people). But I really liked Philly when I visited...so maybe...I'd have to sell/give away almost all I own, though --only can take so much on a plane--but it'll probably be good to unclutter my life a bit.

[Prince Asbel]

Hooray for Pebbles!