I've been having issues with breathing, and I have no idea if they're fatal or not.
It started sometime last year, I believe. I didn't think of it much until my mom was like, 'were you just now sighing, or having trouble breathing?" Anyway, I had a doctor check up on Monday, and he had no idea what it was. He suggested I get a chest x-ray done. It's been flaring up horribly today. I haven't been breathing normally since morning.
I got the xray done today, and they said they'd call my doctor with the results. We haven't heard anything yet.
So anyway...the thought of dying in it's self isn't so bad. I hate it here. Besides, I want to talk to Jesus face to face so I can actually understand what he's saying without my own voice or the voices of satan or the world interfearing. I've basically concluded that this world is just wierd and I don't like it here. Like, looking at the possibility of dying-truly looking at it as a possibility-has drove home the fact that this world is not my home.
But yet I don't want to go because I haven't affected this world for Him! If I have, it certainly hasn't been enough! I understand more than ever why Paul told the Phillipians, 'to live is christ, to die is gain.' He told them he was torn between the two...being with Christ is better by far, but he new it was better for them if he stayed in the body.
So please, please pray that no matter when I get to go home, God will use me before then. There are too many unsaved people in the world for someone who is saved to not help at least one of them see the truth!
but please...don't pray that God will keep me alive for a long time to come, that isn't what I want.